My boyfriend is threatening to dump me because of me getting medical guardianship. Is that reasonable?

[dancerxoxo123]

No, I wouldn't try to rationalize it to that degree. It will always be up to the court to ultimately make that decision. I'm just saying that your demeanor and understanding of what is at stake will help you in your legal counsel making your case.

There's no telling what the court may bring up relative to your intellect and competency. And it could get ugly. But it sounds like you will be up to such scrutiny as you appear fully aware that your personal freedom is at stake.

But no, you don't want to prematurely assume this means the whole case can collapse. The legal processes involved are much more sophisticated and nuanced than that.

Yeah what do you mean by that?

 

[Judge]

Yeah what do you mean by that?

It's a civil legal process. Not to be confused with a criminal process. Perhaps the simplest way to explain this is that there will be no one single aspect of the facts that can make or break your case.

 

[Poppy98]

I don’t think it does because it will be only medical guardianship? I could still have sex on it and I looked it up. This true? But I’m not going to be on guardianship anyway. I think it’s only true with full guardianship which I am not getting.

sexual activity would probably be considered a medical concern/ medical choice. Therefore if they had that, they could potentially prohibit that, but I'm not sure.




I don't believe there's such a thing as a medical- only guardianship. A PoA can be limited to financial or medical though.


I could be wrong, though, have you contacted an attorney?

 

[Judge]

I don’t think it does because it will be only medical guardianship? I could still have sex on it and I looked it up. This true? But I’m not going to be on guardianship anyway. I think it’s only true with full guardianship which I am not getting.

Again, don't make any sweeping conclusions over a civil legal process. Where much of anything you formally contest will be under review, without anyone making any quick objective decisions, for or against you.

Though this is a classic example of where your best answer will come from a legal professional. Otherwise your best approach to remain fluid over what may or may not happen.

 

[Poppy98]

Though this is a classic example of where your best answer will come from a legal professional.

Agreed.


And Op, remember that you can't get a response from an attorney while their office is closed. You'll need to call them as soon as possible as they are also likely to close early on Fridays. At least try to call one or the disability group today.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

Agreed.


And Op, remember that you can't get a response from an attorney while their office is closed. You'll need to call them as soon as possible as they are also likely to close early on Fridays. At least try to call one or the disability group today.

Yes I will call them. Thank you for your help!

 

[dancerxoxo123]

That's probably not the easiest grounds for them to get it passed on.

The exception might be if you're sleeping with very dangerous people. At that point, they could say that it's endangering your safety or your financial security.


I will also say that the American courts (if that's where you are) are more prone to taking away people's rights than letting them retain them.

Guardianships are not usually temporary although I believe you can appeal it as often as once a year.
It would probably be easier to avoid it in the first place, if possible.


As ever, only use the info I give as a starting point for questions to ask an attorney, don't assume the info is up-to-date and relevant to your area.

Ok yeah you are right. I will ask an attorney too. Thanks for your help!

 

[Mary Terry]

It may be because such a guardianship revokes sexual consent.

It all sounds very fishy to me. But I tend to look at these issues from the standpoint of a parent. OP and boyfriend don't even live together, he wants her to have children but apparently hasn't even asked her to marry him, and he seems more interested in her having his kid than her feelings and what is best for her.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

It all sounds very fishy to me. But I tend to look at these issues from the standpoint of a parent. OP and boyfriend don't even live together, he wants her to have children but apparently hasn't even asked her to marry him, and he seems more interested in her having his kid than her feelings and what is best for her.

Yeah that’s true. How is it fishy?

 

[Mary Terry]

Yeah that’s true. How is it fishy?

Boyfriend wants sexual and procreation benefits without giving the OP the benefit of matrimony or financial security or even a roof over her head that doesn't belong to her parents. I may be jumping to conclusions about boyfriend but he doesn't pass the "smell test" with me. Perhaps I am making false assumptions about boyfriend and I apologize if I am, but my mother instincts indicate that he smells fishy.

 

[Judge]

Boyfriend wants sexual and procreation benefits without giving the OP the benefit of matrimony or financial security or even a roof over her head that doesn't belong to her parents. I may be jumping to conclusions about boyfriend but he doesn't pass the "smell test" with me. Perhaps I am making false assumptions about boyfriend and I apologize if I am, but my mother instincts indicate that he smells fishy.

This is why I think she needs to not only ask him in detail about such feelings, but also to observe how he says them. Though I agree, it just seems that there's just "something off" with him being so intimidated by the prospects of medical guardianship, when he should be supportive as we are rather than threaten to end their relationship.

Realizing that we can only imagine how her parents may feel as well. That it's somehow more about him in his mind than her. Not cool, especially in her time of need.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

Boyfriend wants sexual and procreation benefits without giving the OP the benefit of matrimony or financial security or even a roof over her head that doesn't belong to her parents. I may be jumping to conclusions about boyfriend but he doesn't pass the "smell test" with me. Perhaps I am making false assumptions about boyfriend and I apologize if I am, but my mother instincts indicate that he smells fishy.

Yeah I get what you are saying. I mean he is acting like my boyfriend and has met my family knows my family and has taken me out to dinner and lots of places. How is it still fishy? I kinda agree on you now but I am telling you more info.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I do not View him as fishy, just building a relationship, wondering if it has a future, including possible family. Nothing fishy about that. An ultimatum seems a bit extreme, why not having meet your parents all get together hash it out his voice matters too as do his concerns.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

I do not View him as fishy, just building a relationship, wondering if it has a future, including possible family. Nothing fishy about that. An ultimatum seems a bit extreme, why not having meet your parents all get together hash it out his voice matters too as do his concerns.

Yeah that might be a good idea.

 

[Poppy98]

Yeah that’s true. How is it fishy?

Because he's only thinking about what he gets out of you whereas healthy relationships usually involve equal give and take.

In a healthy relationship, his concern in this situation would probably be focused on making sure *your* rights, freedom, and safety are being taken care of first.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

Because he's only thinking about what he gets out of you whereas healthy relationships usually involve equal give and take.

In a healthy relationship, his concern in this situation would probably be focused on making sure *your* rights, freedom, and safety are being taken care of first.

Yeah he is making sure my safety is being taken care of first. He is concerned about me getting better.

 

[Crossbreed]

Boyfriend wants sexual and procreation benefits without giving the OP the benefit of matrimony or financial security or even a roof over her head that doesn't belong to her parents.

If he intends to do the honorable thing, it is in both of their best interests to do so before her parents' case makes it into court.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

If he intends to do the honorable thing, it is in both of their best interests to do so before her parents' case makes it into court.

Yeah how so?

 

[Crossbreed]

Check with your attorney, but if he is your husband, his interest in your medical state could trump that of your parents. If you still needed a "medical" guardian, they would (likely) give that responsibility to him instead of your parents.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

Check with your attorney, but if he is your husband, his interest in your medical state could trump that of your parents. If you still needed a "medical" guardian, they would (likely) give that responsibility to him instead of your parents.

Ok but he is my boyfriend and not my husband. Thanks for your help!