My boyfriend is threatening to dump me because of me getting medical guardianship. Is that reasonable?

[Mary Terry]

Forums are very helpful with advice, but realize if you marry him, it does bring legal implications such as being financially responsible for bills. Marriage is a serious decision, sit down and talk out what each of you expect from the marriage. Divorce can be expensive, and a long process. Please sit down with your parents and ask them for their views on the why are they are doing this. Then the attorney will be able to show you what your legal options are.

Having a baby with a boyfriend who doesn't even financially support you is an even more serious decision than marriage and brings a host of legal implications beyond marriage. I suspect that's what OP's parents are worried about.

 

[Aspychata]

Extremely important reason why they may be stepping in at this point.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

I am not trying to pass judgment, l believe it's more important to talk to them to fully understand their mindset. Then based on why, you can then decide if you need to go to an attorney. Does that make sense to you?

Yeah it makes sense to me. I talked to them on why they are getting me guardianship the medical one and it’s because I would need help and support understanding things at the doctors when it’s really inaccurate and I can understand the things at the doctor so it doesn’t make sense. I’m getting an attorney.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

Yeah it makes sense to me. I talked to them on why they are getting me guardianship the medical one and it’s because I would need help and support understanding things at the doctors when it’s really inaccurate and I can understand the things at the doctor so it doesn’t make sense. I’m getting an attorney.

And they already got the guardianship for me and I didn’t even get an attorney on time. What should I do now?

 

[Tired]

And they already got the guardianship for me and I didn’t even get an attorney on time. What should I do now?

They've already got medical guardianship over you?

 

[dancerxoxo123]

Even though it's not true, they will make you out to be a dangerous, criminal pervert who isn't worth being protected. Court is terrible. I would strongly suggest trying to get an attorney first thing on Monday without asking your parents to help because in this case they probably won't even if they might tell you they will (legal matters change everything).

Omg my mom said to me the medical guardianship is finalized now. This isn’t right!! What should I do now? I don’t need this! I can make my own medical decisions and understand what the doctor is saying to me. This is wrong!!

 

[dancerxoxo123]

They've already got medical guardianship over you?

Yeah they did!! They told me! My mom said she was getting medical guardianship over me because she didn’t want me to take out my IUD out just yet because she doesn’t think I am ready yet. She said I could take it out when she sees I am ready and stable. What do you think about that? Because I have a habit of wanting kids when I am not ready.

 

[Crossbreed]

You think it’s inappropriate that they are trying to get medical guardianship?

No one here knows you well enough to make that call.
If you are being railroaded, getting an attorney is your best option.

 

[Crossbreed]

Omg my mom said to me the medical guardianship is finalized now. This isn’t right!! What should I do now?

Still, seek out an attorney. If I understand correctly, a "medical" guardianship does not stop you from doing so.

It surprises me that they could have completed it without your knowledge or participation. They could be bluffing.

 

[Judge]

Yeah they did!! They told me! My mom said she was getting medical guardianship over me because she didn’t want me to take out my IUD out just yet because she doesn’t think I am ready yet. She said I could take it out when she sees I am ready and stable. What do you think about that? Because I have a habit of wanting kids when I am not ready.

I would strongly recommend you seek formal legal aid immediately. Perhaps first and foremost you need to rule out whether or not you are being "gaslighted" by your own mother. I say that given what seems quite objective, regarding the process that is required in the course of one party obtaining medical guardianship to another in your state.

You need a legal professional to determine formally if such proceedings have already taken place and are now a matter of record. And it seems to me that to simply ponder the idea of having children whether or not you are ready for such just doesn't strike me as grounds to consider you to be legally incapacitated to a point where you are unable to make decisions.

Asking the following: Can one obtain medical guardianship over another without their knowledge or consent?

"In New York State, a person cannot obtain medical guardianship over another without that person's knowledge or consent if the individual is capable of making decisions. However, if the person is deemed incapacitated and unable to make decisions, a court can appoint a guardian after a legal proceeding."

In essence, your mother may be "gaslighting" (lying to) you, if in fact no decision or proceedings have formally taken place in determining whether or not you require medical guardianship in the eyes of the court. A legal process that cannot likely take place entirely behind your back, unless your parents have somehow convinced the authorities you are utterly incapacitated.

 

[Crossbreed]

Bluffing = gaslighting.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

I would strongly recommend you seek formal legal aid immediately. Perhaps first and foremost you need to rule out whether or not you are being "gaslighted" by your own mother. I say that given what seems quite objective, regarding the process that is required in the course of one party obtaining medical guardianship to another in your state.

You need a legal professional to determine formally if such proceedings have already taken place and are now a matter of record. And it seems to me that to simply ponder the idea of having children whether or not you are ready for such just doesn't strike me as grounds to consider you to be legally incapacitated to a point where you are unable to make decisions.

Asking the following: Can one obtain medical guardianship over another without their knowledge or consent?

"In New York State, a person cannot obtain medical guardianship over another without that person's knowledge or consent if the individual is capable of making decisions. However, if the person is deemed incapacitated and unable to make decisions, a court can appoint a guardian after a legal proceeding."

In essence, your mother may be "gaslighting" (lying to) you, if in fact no decision or proceedings have formally taken place in determining whether or not you require medical guardianship in the eyes of the court. A legal process that cannot likely take place entirely behind your back, unless your parents have somehow convinced the authorities you are utterly incapacitated.

Ok so she is probably saying she got medical guardianship already to scare me? I would know if I were to get it? A lawyer would tell me? Why is she like this?

 

[dancerxoxo123]

Still, seek out an attorney. If I understand correctly, a "medical" guardianship does not stop you from doing so.

It surprises me that they could have completed it without your knowledge or participation. They could be bluffing.

I will get an attorney as soon as possible. But she was telling me that she was in the process of getting medical guardianship and explained the process.

 

[Aspychata]

You could simply ask her to see the filings on medical guardianship so that you can understand what you can and can't do. Then make a copy and take it to legal aid or an attorney. Or tell your boyfriend to step up and help you pursue legal help. These are just ideas, this isn't legal advice, and l am not an attorney, so think thru your options, try researching yourself online, and see if your court has a free law library, some states do, and some even have an attorney or law clerk that give free, limited legal help.

 

[Judge]

Ok so she is probably saying she got medical guardianship already to scare me? I would know if I were to get it? A lawyer would tell me? Why is she like this?

Not to scare you, but to manipulate you into doing nothing as if it was too late.

It's not too late. In fact it's possible things haven't really begun yet. It does seem that she should not be trusted at this point. Perhaps to refrain from even discussing the matter with her until you can touch base with a legal professional.

 

[Poppy98]

It surprises me that they could have completed it without your knowledge or participation. They could be bluffing.

I agree. I was told that here at least the target of the guardianship has to appear in court and there is absolutely no work-around to avoid it.


Further, it is generally harder to get sterilization for someone who has a low IQ than for anyone else because reproductive rights are harder to remove.

 

[Poppy98]

I would strongly recommend you seek formal legal aid immediately. Perhaps first and foremost you need to rule out whether or not you are being "gaslighted" by your own mother. I say that given what seems quite objective, regarding the process that is required in the course of one party obtaining medical guardianship to another in your state.

You need a legal professional to determine formally if such proceedings have already taken place and are now a matter of record. And it seems to me that to simply ponder the idea of having children whether or not you are ready for such just doesn't strike me as grounds to consider you to be legally incapacitated to a point where you are unable to make decisions.

Asking the following: Can one obtain medical guardianship over another without their knowledge or consent?

"In New York State, a person cannot obtain medical guardianship over another without that person's knowledge or consent if the individual is capable of making decisions. However, if the person is deemed incapacitated and unable to make decisions, a court can appoint a guardian after a legal proceeding."

In essence, your mother may be "gaslighting" (lying to) you, if in fact no decision or proceedings have formally taken place in determining whether or not you require medical guardianship in the eyes of the court. A legal process that cannot likely take place entirely behind your back, unless your parents have somehow convinced the authorities you are utterly incapacitated.

Agreed.


She might be telling you that (lying to you) so that you don't take matters into your own hands before she can attempt to get a guardianship.

 

[Poppy98]

You could simply ask her to see the filings on medical guardianship so that you can understand what you can and can't do. Then make a copy and take it to legal aid or an attorney. Or tell your boyfriend to step up and help you pursue legal help. These are just ideas, this isn't legal advice, and l am not an attorney, so think thru your options, try researching yourself online, and see if your court has a free law library, some states do, and some even have an attorney or law clerk that give free, limited legal help.

Adding to this topic, you can usually go to the court house closest to you, give them your address and ask them if that is the courthouse where a guardianship against you would be filled, if they say "yes" ask if there is a guardianship over you.



Have you moved at all in the last twelve years?

 

[dancerxoxo123]

No

Adding to this topic, you can usually go to the court house closest to you, give them your address and ask them if that is the courthouse where a guardianship against you would be filled, if they say "yes" ask if there is a guardianship over you.



Have you moved at all in the last twelve years?

I still live with my parents. I should move out soon.

 

[Aspychata]

But if you can get the legal filing, you are that much more ahead as what to do, otherwise you need to see if anything was filed in family court where you lived, and pay for a copy of filing if you can obtain it. This way you know if she did file for it. If your name isn't in the court file system, then it wasn't done. You have to start somewhere, if you do the basic legwork of getting the court document, you did the very first step. Right now you are on good terms with parents, that's okay. She may actually give you a copy, if you explain you need to know what confines you are living with. But you need the filing, doesn't matter if you go to family court yourself, or she gives it to you.