My aunt belongs in my state’s civil commitment center for severe sexual offenders.

[Metalhead]

Alas, my aunt is also free from prosecution for her severe sex crimes against me due to my state’s statute of limitations.

And my mother is telling people that just because I believe in all my heart and soul that I was sexually abused, that does not mean the abuse actually happened. She claims to have read a scientific study about people who falsely believe they were abused as children. I should turn that against her when she claimed her uncle abused her as a child, but I am not as bad as she is.

And my stepfather is telling me I am emotionally blackmailing my mother by refusing to be around my aunt at family gatherings she is organizing.

I hate my entire blood family.

I also slipped in my sobriety today. Damn it.

This is hopeless.

 

[Rodafina]

A slip in sobriety does not have to mean the end of it. It seems like you’ve been committed and proud to not be drinking. You can get back to that.

Sobriety is not always a quest of pure perfection. It can be a messy path, but don’t let this incident pull you off the path all together.

 

[Metalhead]

A slip in sobriety does not have to mean the end of it. It seems like you’ve been committed and proud to not be drinking. You can get back to that.

Sobriety is not always a quest of pure perfection. It can be a messy path, but don’t let this incident pull you off the path all together.

True. I should go offline for now. I am currently intoxicated of Elysian Space Dust. At least I have good taste in beer.

 

[Rodafina]

 

[Metalhead]

I can’t believe after a wonderful two weeks with a long distance friend, this is what happens. I really am weak.

 

[Rodafina]

You’re not weak. It makes perfect sense that this would happen right now. You had to come back to everything familiar that you hate so much. Wicked, awful people who did unthinkable things to you as a child and even now.

You got a taste of being away from it, just happy and free with friends. It really does make a lot of sense that this would be the toughest time. Coming back. There is no weakness in the way you have survived this point in your life.

 

[Metalhead]

Seriously, I not only wish for my aunt to be committed to the state’s sexual offender’s unit, I also hope she gets left alone with the most violent male offenders. I hate her that much. The way she force fed me porn when I did not want it. The way she coerced me into sexually humiliating situations when I was just a child just so she could laugh about it. I hope she gets eternally raped in hell for what she did.

 

[Outdated]

The simple fact is that every time you talk to your mother you end up in this state. She is toxic to you.

You need to stop doing that.

 

[Aspychata]

We walk as damaged souls. I was kicked out due to no fault of my own at age 17. And both my mom and brother will tell me l made it up, because they don't want to tarnish his image.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

What's a civil commitment center? Is it like a state hospital? Or is it a special prison? A halfway house?

I don't understand.

Please explain.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Seriously, I not only wish for my aunt to be committed to the state’s sexual offender’s unit, I also hope she gets left alone with the most violent male offenders. I hate her that much. The way she force fed me porn when I did not want it. The way she coerced me into sexually humiliating situations when I was just a child just so she could laugh about it. I hope she gets eternally raped in hell for what she did.

I am so sorry that happened to you. I almost cried when I read that.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry @Metalhead
Your aunt and mother triggered you. Please forgive yourself today. Find a way to love that child that hurts so much right now. Your stepfather is gaslighting you also, time to steer clear, like no contact.

 

[Metalhead]

What's a civil commitment center? Is it like a state hospital? Or is it a special prison? A halfway house?

I don't understand.

Please explain.

That is where the most severe sex offenders get sent to after they serve their prison time of the legal system believes they will commit more sex crimes if they are released in the public.

 

[Metalhead]

I hate being the family black sheep - I hate being the one person in the family who was intentionally raised in a situation where anybody could do whatever they wanted to me and my mother always made sure there was nothing I could possibly do about any of it.

I am going to work on gradually limiting my contact with these people. If I suddenly go NC, they will show up at my doorstep, show up at my job, call up my therapist and step up their harassment.

 

[Twilight]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. Your story does matter. We hear you and believe you.

I'm the black sheep in my family, too, so I can relate in a small way. I know from experience that secondary wounding sucks. It can be just as traumatic as the initial event(s).

Your family should be supporting you, not dismissing your experience. Limiting contact with them is a very good idea.

 

[Metalhead]

I am back on the wagon today.

I am tired of the never ending gaslighting I get from my entire blood family.

My mother is telling me she always supported my film criticism hobby now. Well, a decade ago, when I had a website up and running, she attacked it from every imaginable angle, then when I shut it down because bourbon was more important to me at that time, she told me she was proud of me for giving up my immature and childish hobby.

I am going to vastly reduce my contact with these people and eventually go NC. I know they all believe I am unworthy of having any personal boundaries whatsoever.

 

[tree]

I hate being the family black sheep - I hate being the one person in the family who was intentionally raised in a situation where anybody could do whatever they wanted to me and my mother always made sure there was nothing I could possibly do about any of it.

I am going to work on gradually limiting my contact with these people. If I suddenly go NC, they will show up at my doorstep, show up at my job, call up my therapist and step up their harassment.

This could be an instance of when the geographic cure could
actually work.

 

[Metalhead]

By getting drunk, I have failed everybody.

I have failed myself, as well.

I needlessly became vicious in this thread. I became as terrible as the rest of my family.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

By getting drunk, I have failed everybody.

I have failed myself, as well.

I needlessly became vicious in this thread. I became as terrible as the rest of my family.

I do not think you are needlessly vicious except by lying to yourself about your weakness. You were betrayed by family and are trying to heal even when thoughts of them intrude. I honestly think that until they respect you that you need distance from them.

(added) Be aware that even if cutting contact though it may be healthy for you, you may experience some greiving for the contact that you are giving up on.

 

[Shevek]

Have you gone to meetings for survivors of dysfunctional families? I met lots of other people who had cut off contact there. It helps to have a "new family" we can relate to.