• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

My aunt belongs in my state’s civil commitment center for severe sexual offenders.

I hope to never touch alcohol ever again.

Is it usual to have such a nasty crash after an epic vacation?
 
I am grateful for my job, my house, and my great friends. I am grateful that for the most part my health has been improving. I am grateful that I have food in my kitchen, cash in the bank and a solid roof over my head to come home to every day. I am grateful that most of my problems are first world problems.

I am grateful that I stopped drinking late last night and did not start again today.

I am grateful that I have legal rights as an adult in my country.

I am my own worst enemy most of the time.
 
Metalhead said:
By getting drunk, I have failed everybody.

I have failed myself, as well.

I needlessly became vicious in this thread. I became as terrible as the rest of my family.
Click to expand...
Momentary failure is okay. Resilience is more powerful and more important.

You can learn a lot from your experience in the last 24 hours. You can use this momentary lapse to push you back toward the path you want to be on, away from the horrors of your past.
 
1692814137070.png
 
You didn't fail anybody. This isn't about blame. That thought needs to stop. This is about you being triggered, and you just fell into the trigger rabbit hole. Sometimes l catch my triggers, l haven't lately, l am upset with myself, like you, l need to turn that corner, and not react. I agree, it's hard. When l catch it, l am suppose to realize the emotions, anger, more anger, shame. Then l am suppose to acknowledge that l feel this way, then l am suppose to let those feelings go. Sometimes l get thru the acknowledge part, but letting go is tripping me up. Maybe there are others who have insight to this. Do you realize you have these feelings, or is letting go hard @Metalhead ?
And recognizing the actual thing or things that triggered you? Do you know exactly at what point, you flipped into those thoughts, a phone call perhaps with your stepfather? This is said kindness, only answer if you wish to. I am struggling right now in this general area, kinda stuck.
 
Last edited:
Aspychata said:
You didn't fail anybody. This isn't about blame. That thought needs to stop. This is about you being triggered, and you just fell into the trigger rabbit hole. Sometimes l catch my triggers, l haven't lately, l am upset with myself, like you, l need to turn that corner, and not react. I agree, it's hard. When l catch it, l am suppose to realize the emotions, anger, more anger, shame. Then l am suppose to acknowledge that l feel this way, then l am suppose to let those feelings go. Sometimes l get thru the acknowledge part, but letting go is tripping me up. Maybe there are others who have insight to this. Do you realize you have these feelings, or is letting go hard @Metalhead ?
And recognizing the actual thing or things that triggered you? Do you know exactly at what point, you flipped into those thoughts, a phone call perhaps with your stepfather? This is said kindness, only answer if you wish to. I am struggling right now in this general area, kinda stuck.
Click to expand...
I think my mother showing up at my door on Sunday with groceries, and then using those groceries as leverage to force her way into my house, and then refusing to leave after I told her I planned on catching up on sleep that day because she wanted to watch a movie at my house, calling me selfish because she felt the groceries entitled her to my company - yeah.

No more groceries from her.
 
Oh boy, that would be a huge trigger. Maybe that started the avalanche of feelings in general. Maybe that's kinda of my rut, when the avalanche starts, and l sit and think how did l go from 2 to 100 , and all these bad thoughts just jumped up and pound me into the darkness?
 
Also, yesterday on the job, I talked with a parent who was telling me that the staff at her child's school has singled out her child for unusual amounts of discipline due to his sensory issues.

I was singled out for unusually large amounts of discipline by my public school teachers - my mother responded to that by telling me I deserved it every single time. There were times when the teachers lied to my parents and told them I did things I did not do - my mother responded to that by often telling me she saw security camera footage of me doing those things from a school that had no security cameras.

In any case, we all know my entire blood family is toxic and bad for me. I need to live my own life instead of dwelling on the obvious.
 
My boss is being toxic once again. I told her I had somewhat less energy than usual today. She told me she did not want me to tell her about that, that I should always smile and pretend everything is perfectly OK even when I feel like crying, that the way I feel does not matter.

I am tempted to pack my bags when I get home, buy a Greyhound ticket, get the hell out of this state tonight.
 
Most people in my regular daily life want me to kill myself.

It would give them such great satisfaction if I caved in and did that.
 
Oy gevalt. You have a hangover. You're not going to kill yourself. Stop saying that. Kill the patterns in your life that are making you miserable. I.E. speaking with sex offenders or their sympathizers.

No killy self! Move away.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
Oy gevalt. You have a hangover. You're not going to kill yourself. Stop saying that. Kill the patterns in your life that are making you miserable. I.E. speaking with sex offenders or their sympathizers.

No killy self! Move away.
Click to expand...
I am not going to give my family and my employer what they want from me. I am not going to do myself in for their pleasure.
 
Maybe I should quit my job and live off cheap kimchi ramen until I land something better.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom