I've been called a beta male

[Humbleduck]

Greetings,

I have been recently diagnosed and went on a podcast to try and rap with my feelings. I felt like I was ripped to shreds by my online friends and had people telling me to just "get over it" I feel like people don't understand. I was wondering if anyone has some advice as to how to overcome this argument when people present it. They really cut deep.

 

[tree]

 

[tree]

@Humbleduck

So, you are saying that they told you to get over being autistic?
How are you acquainted with these people?
Have you met them and breathed the air in the same room?
Or are they people with whom you have had only on-line encounters?

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Welcome, @Humbleduck! Glad you're here.

I must admit, I'm confused, too. I never heard of a beta male diagnosis.

 

[MonolithImmortal]

I'm so sorry you were mocked like that. For what it's worth guys who call other guys "beta" are typically the biggest shitheads in the world and aren't worth giving the time of day. There's no argument to be overcome to be honest. It's just jerks being jerks and there's no amount of persuasion that will change who they are. Drop them, and drop them joyfully.

There's nothing wrong with having feelings, and especially nothing wrong with being in touch with them. Some of us are emotion blind, and I for one would love to be able to understand my own feelings better.

 

[SunnyDay16]

People who don't fit narrow definitions of what someone feels they should be are often talked down upon or insulted. "Alpha" and "beta" are subjective terms that really can mean anything. In these days, being a decent human being who respects others is enough to be called "weak" or "beta". Feelings are natural, normal, and shouldn't be frowned upon. The people who told you to "get over it" probably don't understand how you're feeling and don't want to understand. Maybe you should find other friends.

 

[clg114]

Welcome!

You will find that most people either can not or will not understand AS. This is why I rarely ever tell people that I am a Aspie. Need to know basis only.

 

[Judge]

I felt like I was ripped to shreds by my online friends and had people telling me to just "get over it" I feel like people don't understand. I was wondering if anyone has some advice as to how to overcome this argument when people present it. They really cut deep.

Welcome to AC, Humbleduck.

"Need-To-Know" basis only. Be very careful about those you approach to tell them you're on the spectrum. Don't ever automatically assume family and friends will understand, let alone complete strangers online.

Mainly because there are a few who will try to understand and will succeed. There are more who will try to understand and fail. And most will either be indifferent about it, and/or expect or insist you conform to their way of thinking based on their social majority.

Forget any discussion of alpha and beta males. In this instance it just sounds like just an excuse to disparage you and little else.

 

[Dan Dan]

Im in the process of being diagnosed because my sister mentioned it to me that i might be autistic. At first i was insulted but only because i didn't know what autism was. My ignorance backfired somewhat after doing some research into ASD and come to the conclusion that i most likely am autistic. This was a year ago and i haven't told anyone anything about my situation including my sister. I simply don't trust the people in my life to understand why i am the way i am. Joining AC was great because now i feel as though i can finally talk about it to people who understand.

 

[Gritches]

Welcome, Humbleduck.

Try this on for size: you aren't a beta getting picked on by alphas, you're getting picked on by betas who want to feel like alphas.

An alpha male doesn't sit and listen to a podcast he doesn't like just so he can rip into the creator from behind the safety of a keyboard. An alpha shuts off the podcast as soon as he decides he doesn't want to hear the rest of it and moves on with his life.

An alpha, if he did listen to a podcast about someone's troubles, wouldn't kick someone who's already down for a little jolt of false self-esteem. An alpha would seek to build that person up, and in doing so gain a real and deserved sense of self-esteem.

An alpha fears nobody, because he knows that even in defeat he is still an alpha. An alpha's trophy case is empty because he stores his triumphs in the hearts of others. Even after crushing loss, an alpha will grow from the pain, and thus an alpha always wins.

Those people cutting you down aren't alphas. They're betas who would piss on their own tails and slink away in the presence of a true alpha. Throw off your chains. Give yourself permission to be free. Be an alpha.

 

[OlLiE]

friends don't humiliate friends,
'people's' opinions are not worth listening to

dump bad friends
ignore stupid people
get over thém
live your life the way that makes you happy

done and dusted

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome Humbleduck.
Just don't let people like that get to you.
That's what they want and it makes them feel inflated when they think they can put someone down and feel bad.
Glad to see you in the group here.

 

[Progster]

I was wondering if anyone has some advice as to how to overcome this argument when people present i

Tell them that you have a right to your feelings.

 

[Tom]

Hi & Welcome
Its generally not a good idea to expose one's inner feelings or problems online to the general public. Thats because more often then not, the bullies/trolls get involved. That whole 'Alpha, Beta' male thing is I believe worthless pop psychology without scientific value. We are Humans not Mule deer.

 

[henrisalo]

Don't mention it to others. If they pressure you, agree with them just to get them off your back.

 

[aspieman2396]

One time, I posted something on reddit, and I got called a beta male. Needless to say, I deleted my account shortly after.

 

[jacinto]

Welcome, Humbleduck.

Try this on for size: you aren't a beta getting picked on by alphas, you're getting picked on by betas who want to feel like alphas.

An alpha male doesn't sit and listen to a podcast he doesn't like just so he can rip into the creator from behind the safety of a keyboard. An alpha shuts off the podcast as soon as he decides he doesn't want to hear the rest of it and moves on with his life.

An alpha, if he did listen to a podcast about someone's troubles, wouldn't kick someone who's already down for a little jolt of false self-esteem. An alpha would seek to build that person up, and in doing so gain a real and deserved sense of self-esteem.

An alpha fears nobody, because he knows that even in defeat he is still an alpha. An alpha's trophy case is empty because he stores his triumphs in the hearts of others. Even after crushing loss, an alpha will grow from the pain, and thus an alpha always wins.

Those people cutting you down aren't alphas. They're betas who would piss on their own tails and slink away in the presence of a true alpha. Throw off your chains. Give yourself permission to be free. Be an alpha.

...That's got to be one of the most high-caliber, sage grouping of words in the entire internet history of rants.

 

[vangelis]

Welcome - just ignore them, carry on being yourself and you will find plenty of people will like you for just that. People who make disparaging comments generally have insecurities themselves so once you can understand and accept this it becomes much easier to deal with.