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  • What did the famous composer Beethoven do after he died? He de-composed!
    One of the favorite jokes of my 11th grade biology teacher.
    I was once accused of being indolent. I was unsure whether or not to be offended, because I was too lazy to look up the word "indolent".
    (I'm serious about this) I always schedule my dentist appointments at 2:30 so I never forget. Get it? Tooth-hurty! God I miss Robin Williams
    You're getting cornier by the minute Gritches, xD! You're almost as bad as my sister who's the queen of puns. :D
    Lots of vacation homes in my area. It makes me sad to know so many people have two or more houses when so many others don't even have one.
    I have this old gold chain that I have no use for...so I decided to put it on my keyring like a lanyard. Get it? It's a KEY chain. Ho ho!
    Just passed a kidney stone. Am I...am I stronger than ever now?
    After that you could be superman. I remember the pain.
    What? I'm out of Ibuprofen? No sir/no ma'am, Gritches does not run out of Ibuprofen; Ibuprofen runs out of Gritches.
    I love wearing a suit and tie. People seem to remember their manners real quick when they see someone in a suit.
    Agreed. That's why I dress up whenever I have to conduct business. I've found people tend to be more respectful like at the bank or when filing complaints at a store, etc.
    What did the banker say when he denied the clown's request for startup capital? He said "no funny business!"
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