Independent autistic adults of this forum what kind of housing arrangement are you in?

[LonelyAutisticPerson]

hello,

To those that are independent autistic adults and post on this forum what sort of housing arrangement did your parents make for you so you'd have somewhere to live?

Asking because I'm 23 and autistic and trying to plan for my future when my parents are gone and there's not a lot options in Auckland,New Zealand outside of state houses through Housing New Zealand or accommodation through Idea Services because a house in Auckland is near,at or above NZ $1 million and even apartments are like $300,000 to $400,000 for a basic one-room apartment and even when my parents sell place where I currently live when they downsize for $1.2 million or more it won't be enough to get a house for both me and my sister.

 

[Chance]

I have basically been on my own since I was 14. Overtime I have acquired a lot of stuff, and my grandparents stuff (which was left to me when they passed away).

I live in a very rural environment. I love the lifestyle, but have always been unhappy with where I am (mostly because of the hot weather, the endless winds, the severe storms that can come out of nearly nowhere without warning, and some people I need to put some distance between). Another weird reason is Pecan trees. I am extremely allergic to the trees and the nuts, and I am surrounded by them, dust, and live a miserable allergy infected life most the time, which robs my energy and causes lots of adverse effects to an already messed up guy... : )

I have been working on a plan to change all that, but its a huge shift with lots of things that have to take place first.

I have about 4 options picked out. One includes a fall back, in case I cant find a way to make things work for the far off move. So one option is doable in the very near future, but its my least favorite because I will be stuck in a climate I simply dislike deeply, yet it will get me a little peace hopefully.

In all this, I am making my life's stuff as minimal as possible. I'm not a "cult minimalist" in anyway, yet I love the simplicity of not being surrounded by useless objects, trinkets, spare this or that, etc. Junk laying around makes me a little crazy. I live and need a very organized life.

In my next move, (no matter if its simply to the lake that is close to me now, to San Diego, the Oregon coast, or Vancouver BC.)... I want to take with me, only the things needed. I have so much stuff to sell, and have been selling, that it is mind blowing. I dislike dealing with people (especially strangers), but this stuff, my land, and homes, are my way to do this mostly (if not totally) debt free.

I tell no one what my plans are at this point, simply because of all the drama people will pour into my life over something that is no ones business but mine... Yet they always seem to feel they need to have input and control... One of the very reasons I want away from here. Many people here use me and I sort of made that nightmare to try and fit in... I no longer care if I fit in. I care about finding the real me again.

To leave here, a lot of stress is also no longer in the picture. Yet I am human and a few things are harder to let go of then I first thought.

I'm going on "vacation" in February to see if I cant get hired at quite a few places I am familiar with in SD and in Oregon. I have an excellent work ethic, and work history. I have excellent credit (I take very good care of my finances)... So actually I have a very real chance at doing this, if I can make the right impressions with the right people... That is where a near miracle must happen, the rest will take care of itself.

IF this works out... I want a cabin type home, close to lots of water in the mountains, and hopefully with 4 full seasons, lots of partly cloudy or even cloudy days... San Diego area (Alpine or Mt. Julian) is not the perfect choice but I can make it work. A place like the Oregon coast, Washington state, or even Vancouver BC... Those are the places I really want to try my best to make work. Vancouver (not in the city) would be my first choice in a heartbeat. : )

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I currently rent a tiny studio flat in the centre of town, 15 minutes cycle from work. I previously lived with housemates, but I'm glad to live alone now. When my career reaches a point that I can settle in one place rather than moving around that country/world every few years I intend to buy a small 1 bedroom flat with my savings, I don't need much space (bit of a minimalist) and I should be able to buy mortgage free.

 

[Progster]

My parents didn't make any arrangements for me. I inherited some money and bought my own house, with the help of my partner.

 

[SusanLR]

I hope you get the life you want and deserve, @Chance ,
but I think I can certainly relate to LonelyAutisticPerson concerns.
My parents were poor and I an only child.
Being on the spectrum and not even knowing it until a few years ago, made for some struggles,
a lot of struggles, gettting through school and keeping steady work.
I just never left home as it was comfortable and easier than trying to go out on my own.
I also knew someday probably I would be left alone when my parents died and wondered how
I would survive, where I would live, and not enough money to really live on.

Even though I made good money while in pharmaceuticals, it all went to keeping things
going for the family. By the time I lost both parents, I was practically broke and on disability
which isn't enough to live on.
There was nothing to inherit except debt from taking care of my parents.

Housing projects would have been the only thing to move to or go into group living.
They both are crap.
So I ended up renting half of a large house that an elderly man I knew who wanted a companion
around like a care-giver.
He is a grump, controlling, and just plain mean to everyone.
It is a big house, but, far from beautiful. He is like a hoarder and there's always that clutter
laying around like you hate, so do I.
Too much for me to keep up with and even though he is still able bodied enough to do some work
around the house, he won't.
He won't pay anyone to do it either even though he is wealthy. Not even the gardening!
But, for now, I feel I'm in the go with the flow part of my life and don't know what
the outcome will be.
So I know the worries this post is concerning.

And Welcome to LonelyAutisticPerson!
Sorry I can't be of much help except to share my experience.

 

[Mr Allen]

It'll be 12 years in August since I moved into a private rented Flat owned by the local Housing Association. I was 30 at the time.

 

[AO1501]

My parents (actually just Mother) made no arrangements for me, but I didn't expect her to, and would probably have not accepted her help anyway if she'd offered it.

The nearest description I have is that I moved into 'managed housing' for students for a year, then a house-share with a number of others for a couple of years. Eventually I bought a house of my own.

Many years ago after I moved to the US, I bought a house and still live in it. I've been alone there for the last few years, but very recently got married, and am about to share my home with my wife and her children.

 

[AloneNotLonely]

Why do you need to live in Auckland? Major cities with major prices are for people with major careers. I am not sure how well public transport and such functions outside of a major city in New Zealand, so this is all things to research on your own. Not "Just do this" since every place is different.

First thing to do is to see how prices differ outside of Auckland or any other major city for that reason, and how easy it is to get from that place to a major city (For work, etc). A car is very expensive, so it's preferable to avoid needing that. If you want a car and already have it or want to get one regardless then the obvious choice is to move to the middle of nowhere not too far away from Auckland. In this case it's important to make sure you have a direct connection with a less congested road, it's a double whammy since congested roads often connected the major city to expensive suburbs/towns anyway. An apartment or even a house in such an area is easily paid for in cash after your parents downsize. An apartment in those areas might cost 150000 kiwi dollars instead of 300000. Pay attention to property taxes, however and avoid districts with any considerable lefty population unless you want your apartment to lose all it's value and pay the same as rent in taxes.

An alternative is to get a state house. However, make sure you analyze all of the "limitations" on that. You don't want to go that route if you will get kicked out once you inherit like 300000 NZD from your parents. You want no limitations on net worth, income is no huge deal as you can always move. You want to be able to build net worth without having to spend it all on a tiny apartment because you got kicked out of your state house. Also analyze the rent and compare it to the taxes, maintenance, insurance and all other costs associated with buying something in the middle of nowhere. Maybe New Zealand has insane taxes, but where I live the taxes are lower so buying something cheap is a fraction of the cost (including mortgage costs) than renting a state house.

A state house might take a years or decades to get (here it's decades in a major city, haha) so I would start researching now.

 

[Tom]

Those are crazy prices. I thought I have read articles about people in other countries buying NZ properties (and driving prices up) because they see it as a safe haven in case the SHTF. 'Apocalypse Planning' is going to be a standard section in financial counseling soon....

As far as how I handled it, I was undiagnosed HFA and being one of many children could count on no assistance. So I made my own way, had a career, married and bought a house.

 

[Mia]

Same as Tom, from a large family and undiagnosed HFA. Independent at an early age, lived with roomies and friends for some time. Eventually met my HFA husband, married, have held jobs all of my life. Also made my own way in the world, Aspies seem able to do many things. Had a career also, bought a home, retired at fifty-five.

 

[DCA]

Undiagnosed & my dad never really believed I had a problem ("just get over it!"). That being said we did have an arrangement. He inherited my grandparents house, & I agreed to live there with him & help support the house with the idea that I would inherit it after his death relatively debt free. Well he took out a reverse mortgage & was NOT careful with his money. So I had to take out a mortgage on it. I'm also a single parent & my kids mother does not help in any way financially (so no child support money or anything like that). I'm expected to do everything with my income alone. Also our AC died here in the height of summer & have to shell out money to pay for that. The joys of home ownership. As long as I have enough inheritance money to pay off my student debt (I'm in the US FYI), I should be able to make it.

 

[oregano]

I have been living with my parents since 2005. My grandfather owned some land that he gave to my mom (his daughter) for her dream house, since he knew he was dying (which he did in November 2009). At the time I was living in a decrepit travel trailer behind his house because I could no longer afford local rents. So my parents built me a little cottage behind their big house and I live there. My dad died in 2015 and my mom is old and feeble and she wants to sell the houses/land and move into senior living, but she worries about me.

Around 2015-16 I managed to save around $3000 and bought some land in Siskiyou County in far north California on Ebay for $2400. It was only after I bought it that I found out about the homeowner association and how awful they are. I was unable to do what I wanted, so I put it up for sale. It's in an area with lots of parcels nobody wants due to the HOA. I managed to sell it for $9600, getting $7000 after fees.

I held on to that money best I could, and finally bought a more remote, bigger parcel without a HOA for $3100 at the Siskiyou County foreclosure auction. That's the land that almost burned. I plan to take out a loan and buy a 10 x 12 ft shed and outfit it as a cabin, and live completely off grid, with a garden and chickens. My only expenses will be property taxes and what food I can't produce myself and transportation.

New Zealand is tiny and as another poster noted billionaires from the US are buying everything in sight due to a widespread belief in an upcoming socioeconomic collapse, which is a big reason why I want to move out of Sacramento. I figure that anybody smart enough to have the kinds of assets and connections these billionaires do know what they're talking about when they say that the system is rotten and about to disintegrate.

 

[Bolletje]

My parents didn’t arrange housing options, I moved out at age 18. Rented a tiny room (8 m2) in a house with roommates for a few years, moved to slightly bigger rooms in houses with equally horrible roommates, lived with a horrible (now ex-)boyfriend, moved back in with the parents for a spell, and spent the last five years sharing a flat with my boyfriend.

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was well into adulthood either, so there were no special arrangements for me. I just worked multiple crumby jobs in between classes to be able to afford my inadequate tiny room in a bad neighborhood, but it meant independence.

 

[LucyPurrs]

I have basically been on my own since I was 14. Overtime I have acquired a lot of stuff, and my grandparents stuff (which was left to me when they passed away).

I live in a very rural environment. I love the lifestyle, but have always been unhappy with where I am (mostly because of the hot weather, the endless winds, the severe storms that can come out of nearly nowhere without warning, and some people I need to put some distance between). Another weird reason is Pecan trees. I am extremely allergic to the trees and the nuts, and I am surrounded by them, dust, and live a miserable allergy infected life most the time, which robs my energy and causes lots of adverse effects to an already messed up guy... : )

I have been working on a plan to change all that, but its a huge shift with lots of things that have to take place first.

I have about 4 options picked out. One includes a fall back, in case I cant find a way to make things work for the far off move. So one option is doable in the very near future, but its my least favorite because I will be stuck in a climate I simply dislike deeply, yet it will get me a little peace hopefully.

In all this, I am making my life's stuff as minimal as possible. I'm not a "cult minimalist" in anyway, yet I love the simplicity of not being surrounded by useless objects, trinkets, spare this or that, etc. Junk laying around makes me a little crazy. I live and need a very organized life.

In my next move, (no matter if its simply to the lake that is close to me now, to San Diego, the Oregon coast, or Vancouver BC.)... I want to take with me, only the things needed. I have so much stuff to sell, and have been selling, that it is mind blowing. I dislike dealing with people (especially strangers), but this stuff, my land, and homes, are my way to do this mostly (if not totally) debt free.

I tell no one what my plans are at this point, simply because of all the drama people will pour into my life over something that is no ones business but mine... Yet they always seem to feel they need to have input and control... One of the very reasons I want away from here. Many people here use me and I sort of made that nightmare to try and fit in... I no longer care if I fit in. I care about finding the real me again.

To leave here, a lot of stress is also no longer in the picture. Yet I am human and a few things are harder to let go of then I first thought.

I'm going on "vacation" in February to see if I cant get hired at quite a few places I am familiar with in SD and in Oregon. I have an excellent work ethic, and work history. I have excellent credit (I take very good care of my finances)... So actually I have a very real chance at doing this, if I can make the right impressions with the right people... That is where a near miracle must happen, the rest will take care of itself.

IF this works out... I want a cabin type home, close to lots of water in the mountains, and hopefully with 4 full seasons, lots of partly cloudy or even cloudy days... San Diego area (Alpine or Mt. Julian) is not the perfect choice but I can make it work. A place like the Oregon coast, Washington state, or even Vancouver BC... Those are the places I really want to try my best to make work. Vancouver (not in the city) would be my first choice in a heartbeat. : )

Good to hear you are progressing in your plans!!! Routing for you all the way.

 

[LonelyAutisticPerson]

The current NZ Government led by the NZ Labour Party is trying to build affordable homes under the KiwiBuild program but it will take years to get to the point where there is a decent supply of affordable homes and it'll be too late for me to benefit from it.

 

[SimplyWandering]

I have a real interesting story... no joke.

Imoved out at 18, between 18 and 26 I moved home 6 times.

Mainly because I got depressed... AND my mom felt alone without me.

I've moved 5 times in the past 3 years. First 1 was with 2 women my age i am a guy) I seemed to alienate myself and 1 was so rude to me that she would ignore me when she came in the apartment and would just walk by me.

2nd apartment I was living in a 4 bedroom and things got really weird when my roommate slept with my friend after she came over from an abusive night with her boyfriend ( my better friend)... then my roommate started being passive aggressive with rude notes about 1 of the locks on the door not being turned or the lights being on at night, blaming me... I moved out of that crazy situation and dropped the friend.

3rd apartment was me moving in with another friend and then she became possessive of the apartment... it wasn't a good feeling. ALSO THE other roommate had a cat that was vomiting everywhere, several times a day... and she wasn't even allowed to have a cat in the apartment, along with her regular habitual pot and cigarette smoking in the apartment.

Maybe it is just me and I keep screwing up, but I can't get away from bad roommate or myself doing bad things.

 

[SusanLR]

The current NZ Government led by the NZ Labour Party is trying to build affordable homes under the KiwiBuild program but it will take years to get to the point where there is a decent supply of affordable homes and it'll be too late for me to benefit from it.

I don't know about NZ government or help for the disabled rules there,
but here in USA autism is one of the things you can get government health care and disability help with
if you are diagnosed by a doctor and have difficulties living away from home on your own or it interferes with ability to work.
They have group living houses here that the government will help disabled people pay for.
You know what's coming so now is the time to start checking what's out there for help with disabilities.
Consulting with a government agency, an attorney and your doctors are good places to start asking.

 

[LonelyAutisticPerson]

I don't know about NZ government or help for the disabled rules there,
but here in USA autism is one of the things you can get government health care and disability help with
if you are diagnosed by a doctor and have difficulties living away from home on your own or it interferes with ability to work.
They have group living houses here that the government will help disabled people pay for.
You know what's coming so now is the time to start checking what's out there for help with disabilities.
Consulting with a government agency, an attorney and your doctors are good places to start asking.

I can do mostly everything in terms of housecare and washing clothes but I can't cook anything more complex than bacon and eggs and microwavable stuff so I'd struggle with getting proper nutrition.

 

[Papillon]

Fellow Kiwi here....can I just ask how the heck do you live in Auckland it's crazy overwhelming a smaller town might be more suitable for having your own place for like moneys sake there's plenty of nice places relatively close to Auckland (I live in the waikato)

 

[LonelyAutisticPerson]

Fellow Kiwi here....can I just ask how the heck do you live in Auckland it's crazy overwhelming a smaller town might be more suitable for having your own place for like moneys sake there's plenty of nice places relatively close to Auckland (I live in the waikato)

I currently live with my family (Mum,Dad and Sister) so I manage okay.