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Independent autistic adults of this forum what kind of housing arrangement are you in?

This is a serious issue for many with ASD. I will be appointed conservator of my LFA nephew who currently lives with his HFA mother when she dies or becomes incapacitated. He is 27 years old now and his mother has serious health issues. They have a nice 4 bedroom home on several wooded acres where my nephew has lived his entire life, just a few miles from my home, and he will inherit the house when she dies. It is my hope to keep him in his home when his mother dies, and to hire someone, maybe a retiree who has an autistic or disabled adult child as well, to live in the house and help take care of him in exchange for free room and board. He can't cook, drive, or use a telephone and must have help. If I can't find someone competent and trustworthy to do that, then I will bring him to live in our home and rent his house to someone else in order to generate income for him. I don't want him to be relegated to a group home and I know he would hate it.
 
LonelyAutisticPerson said:
I can do mostly everything in terms of housecare and washing clothes but I can't cook anything more complex than bacon and eggs and microwavable stuff so I'd struggle with getting proper nutrition.
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LonelyAutisticPerson said:
I can't cook anything more complex than bacon and eggs and microwavable stuff so I'd struggle with getting proper nutrition.
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Wow there are some really easy and simple things you can learn to cook and I'd be happy to help you learn if/when you are ready. You cook start buy practicing while you are still living at home. So if you want help in that department PM me and I'll be happy to give you some instructions for things like roast chicken, steamed vegetables, baked potatoes, etc.
 
I'm planning to live down here at the Flat for as many years as I can, it'll be 12 years next month since I moved out of my Parents' place, I still spend a fair bit of time up there though, just not as much as I used to since the care plan changed a couple of years ago.

Only reason I'll have to give up the Flat is if, God forbid, anything happens to my Parents, then I'd have to move into a care home with 24/7 support, but hopefully that won't be for a LONG time yet.
 
LonelyAutisticPerson said:
I can do mostly everything in terms of housecare and washing clothes but I can't cook anything more complex than bacon and eggs and microwavable stuff so I'd struggle with getting proper nutrition.
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Then learn. A lot of "normal" folks don't know how to cook either (believe it or not) and they live off take out. Pasta is one of the easiest things to make. Easier than bacon and eggs. Rice can be tricky, but once you figure it out it's easy as well. Beans... take time, but easy as well. 9 out of 10 times cooking instructions are on the package even for basic stuff.
 
I really hope things work out for me otherwise I'll end up in a awful care/community home which I don't really want to happen.Sometimes I get so upset over it I start crying.
 
My parents have bought me an apartment. Before that I used to rent cheap apartments full of cockroaches in horrible, dangerous neighborhoods. If you can call a room the size of a closet an apartment.
 
Mia said:
Same as Tom, from a large family and undiagnosed HFA. Independent at an early age, lived with roomies and friends for some time. Eventually met my HFA husband, married, have held jobs all of my life. Also made my own way in the world, Aspies seem able to do many things. Had a career also, bought a home, retired at fifty-five.
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I could never live with roommates or friends. I'd go crazy. Must live alone.
 
Don't hope. Start educating yourself and figure out what you need to do so you don't end up there. If you do nothing but hope, it's certainly not too strange to think you could end up in a bad place in the future. Plan and get things done now, you have all the time in the world to do so now. You won't have that time when you have a set amount of time before you end up homeless.
 
AloneNotLonely said:
Don't hope. Start educating yourself and figure out what you need to do so you don't end up there. If you do nothing but hope, it's certainly not too strange to think you could end up in a bad place in the future. Plan and get things done now, you have all the time in the world to do so now. You won't have that time when you have a set amount of time before you end up homeless.
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Yeah I've been talking to my dad about it and he said he plans to buy a couple of two-bedroom apartments for my sister and I with the money from selling the place where we live at the moment when my parents downsize and move to a smaller home that requires less maintenance.
 
Perfect. It's great to see your father cares so much about you and your sister. He is not obligated to get you guys top notch apartments in the centre of Auckland, but a place to live is essential.
 
AloneNotLonely said:
Perfect. It's great to see your father cares so much about you and your sister. He is not obligated to get you guys top notch apartments in the centre of Auckland, but a place to live is essential.
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Yeah it's trying to find apartments that would be affordable and not way out on the outskirts because that'll mean a biggish commute to work and big fuel expenses given that petrol is over $2 a liter currently and I doubt it'll come down dramatically over the next 10 years which at the end of that time period is when my parents plan to downsize.
 
I really can't cook in the way most NT's think of it. I can defrost chicken and shove it in one of those "clamshell grills" for 20 minutes and then eat it. I have a small rice steamer for rice. I bought a 70s style electric grill, not a clamshell but the one that is like a regular barbecue grill except it's electric, off Ebay ages ago (they aren't made any longer) and use that for beef. I also have a convection oven for the bulky stuff like a beef roast. I also have an electric burner or "hot plate" that I bought when I was living in San Francisco and use that occasionally. (I just bought a new microwave.) The only flavoring I use is a locally made low-salt spice mix called Pappys. It's really not hard to cook your own food once you get away from the NT idea that "cooking" is done like it's done on cable TV cooking shows.
 
I just hope I don't end up living in South Auckland which has a fair bit of gang activity because I would not feel safe West Auckland is okay but there's quite a few bogans with their loud V8 cars they love to hoon around in and the noise would really annoy me because the street where I live with my family in Greenhithe on the North Shore used to have a few boy racers until the police stepped in and sorted it out the worst incident was where a stolen car got torched on our street.
 
That sounds really good that your Dad is going to get you an apartment.
Wow, I wish my parents had planned something for me when the time came I would need it.
This is good news and a good start.
And if you and your sister have a good connection, that's another.
I had no one left and living with someone I had only known for about a year drives me nuts too.
If it had been someone nice it would have been better.
But, I had to decide what to do quick.
Going from loss of everything to living in a house with a grump, geez, no wonder my health has
gone downhill.
 
Look, it's about calculating. What are taxes in Auckland? That $2 a liter might sound high, but if (as I said, research this!) taxes are very high in Auckland it might be cheaper than an apartment without a commute. $400000 apartment vs $150000 apartment at 0,5% tax rate is $1250 more per year. If the tax rate is much higher this could turn out to be even more.

Bogans are a big reason why location is important. You need to look at the politics of the area where you want to buy a house, as this will largely predict the next 10 years in terms of taxes/appreciation. If the local government is socialist, or is trending towards a socialist majority you can bet taxes will rise dramatically. If there's a local government outside of Auckland has a capitalist majority and it doesn't look like it will change soon then that is a much better location. You are better off paying $50000 more for an apartment with good political trends rather than a place that is clearly in a downward spiral. You do not want to be in the position of being forced to sell your apartment because you cannot afford the local property taxes after a tax hike.

So it looks like this Southern Auckland place is something to avoid and to never live there no matter what.
 
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