So, it's complicated. I am a 55yo married man. I am neuro-typical and always thought of myself as straight. But now I have fallen in love with a 25yo young man. I have known him for more than two years and I am convinced he is on the autistic spectrum. He is socially awkward, doesn't speak much, thinks deeply about things, very intelligent etc. I met him through a volunteer mentor scheme, which ended a long time ago. But I have stuck with him and we have had weekly trips out doing walks, shopping, eating out etc. I have helped him with benefits claims, money management and many other things. In the summer we went away on holiday together. I should say that nothing "improper" or unethical has ever happened. He seems to enjoy my company and seems to like being with me.
But I now realise that I am in love with him. This is not a passing crush, I have known this for 18 months. I think about him all the time, I dream of a life with him, I have everything planned out in my head.
I have dropped lots of hints to him, but he has never responded to any of them. I have told him that I "like him a lot" but he just stares at me and says nothing.
I really don't know what to do. Should I tell him out right, but the whole idea might totally disgust him and it could end our friendship for ever. He has never given a single sign whatsoever that he is interested in me in this way at all. Is he gay? I don't know. So although there's a good chance that he doesn't want me like this, I hang on to the fact that he MIGHT want this as well, but is unable to express his feelings.
What signs do I look for....how can I possible broach the subject without jeopardising our friendship. My heart tells me that I should push for what I want, but my head tells me to stop being so stupid. I'm 55 and married after all and should consider my wife and family. This confusion is ruining my life and making me depressed.......what do I do?
But I now realise that I am in love with him. This is not a passing crush, I have known this for 18 months. I think about him all the time, I dream of a life with him, I have everything planned out in my head.
I have dropped lots of hints to him, but he has never responded to any of them. I have told him that I "like him a lot" but he just stares at me and says nothing.
I really don't know what to do. Should I tell him out right, but the whole idea might totally disgust him and it could end our friendship for ever. He has never given a single sign whatsoever that he is interested in me in this way at all. Is he gay? I don't know. So although there's a good chance that he doesn't want me like this, I hang on to the fact that he MIGHT want this as well, but is unable to express his feelings.
What signs do I look for....how can I possible broach the subject without jeopardising our friendship. My heart tells me that I should push for what I want, but my head tells me to stop being so stupid. I'm 55 and married after all and should consider my wife and family. This confusion is ruining my life and making me depressed.......what do I do?