How To Attract Women Without Saying Anything! 😎

[Rodafina]

Autistic women...at least from this small sample...seem to be polar opposite from nearly every neurotypical woman…

If this is true, it seems like valuable information for the autistic men here who are struggling to find a partner.

Go for the autistic gals! Don’t categorize us as second best.

I know that two autistic people in a relationship can run into unique challenges, but seeking another autistic person sure seems like a good idea to me considering the specific struggles that men here have shared throughout the forums.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

If this is true, it seems like valuable information for the autistic men here who are struggling to find a partner.

Go for the autistic gals! Don’t categorize us as second best.

I know that two autistic people in a relationship can run into unique challenges, but seeking another autistic person sure seems like a good idea to me considering the specific struggles that men here have shared throughout the forums.

Agree! 100%

Obviously, my wife and I have taken full advantage of our differences for the betterment of us both. I have mentioned more than once, we compliment each other...or jokingly...the two of us make one good person.

However, "considering the significant struggles that men here have shared throughout the forums" is exactly the response I would have come up with...you just posted it before I did. Perhaps there is something valuable to be learned here...and used for the betterment of two people trying to find "that special someone".

Perhaps...maybe...autistic women, in general, operate on a different set of values when it comes to a potential male partner in life. Perhaps...maybe...autistic men, in general, might be looking for love in all the wrong places and not paying attention to what's right in front of them. Food for thought.

 

[RemyZee]

So, if actor Henry Cavill (Superman, The Witcher, etc) or Chris Hemsworth (Thor, etc.) was interested in you, you'd turn that down. A lot of other women would be thankful for your rejection.

Perspective: People don't like rich people...until they are rich themselves and are living that lifestyle. Until then, it's pretty easy to prejudge and be jealous about things they might not understand fully.

Hmmmm...superman? DOn't think so. I grew up in a huge house with a marble staircase. My father a surgeon made lots of money. I started resenting, then despising my parents' wealthy friends and children from around 11 years old. I found them to be cruel, and stupid and despised how superficial they could be,. My parents would have big cocktail parties, where people wore suits and expensive dresses, there was decorum and all these weird expections about what people were supposed to wear and not wear, what you were supposed to talk and not talk about--no one considered not wealthy was ever invited. I never liked those things, in fact couldn't stand them, and as an autistic person there was no way to negotiate and deal with all the pretenses. I dreamed all the time about moving away to a place where I could belong (definitely didn't belong with wealthy people). Wound up working in homeless shelters for a few year--didn't have anything. Lived in a community of people who were in a commune, hippies. Now I live very modestly, wouldn't have any reason for hanging out with the upper class, and actually don't really ever meet rich peeople. But I like it like this. Superman? Nah. I don't like his tights.

 

[VictorR]

...bum lowest person on totem pole That's how guys measure each other. your position on the hierarchy...

Sorry for going off topic, but I'd like to note that the idiom is incorrect and for the First Nations of the Pacific Northwest, the bottom position on the pole was an honoured one, often considered the most prestigeous, for they held up the rest.

The Debunker: Is It Bad to Be the "Low Man on the Totem Pole"?

I understand that inaccurate portrayals and stereotypes of First Nations culture were quite common into the mid-20th century, and that it can take time to unlearn things.

I invite readers, in the spirit of reconciliation, to take the opportunity to learn more about other cultures so that you may have a better appreciation for them and avoid repeating inaccurate portrayals and stereotypes.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Sorry, not in habit of looking up idioms,

 

[VictorR]

Back on the topic, as @FayetheADHDsquirrel stated, everone is themselves, with their own personalities, and preferences.

Trying to change who you are in hopes of building a connection of any sort, that's just masking, and potentially building a connection on a foundation of lies, which will fall apart sooner or later.

In certain communities/demographics, certain traits may be considered attractive and result in someone getting attention without having to say a word. But what is attractive in one community may be unattractive in another. And even then, to loop back to Faye's point, a majority does not mean everyone.

Something that folks should consider is to be wary of projecting their own ideas of desirability onto others.

For example, when it comes to body image, "Women overestimated the thinness that men prefer in a partner and men overestimated the heaviness and muscularity that women prefer in a partner."

Source: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjop.12451

It can be easy to forget in a media intensive world that the carefully curated looks we see are often unrealistic.

At the end of the day, most folks, whether romantic or platonic, are looking for someone who is caring, interesting, and able to care for themselves, however they may define those attributes.

 

[Judge]

Trying to change who you are in hopes of building a connection of any sort, that's just masking, and potentially building a connection on a foundation of lies, which will fall apart sooner or later.

When I discuss masking, in my own case it's always on a relatively superficial level. Simply to avoid controversy or misunderstandings. Not intended to deceive people or present myself as someone I am not. Just to make minor adjustments in a real time conversation to keep the peace and little else.

However I would look differently at a conscious attempt to accommodate and manipulate someone for romantic purposes over time amounting to a form of subterfuge, IMO. Agreed, that sort of approach is much more likely to fall apart over time. Where initially you win, but eventually you lose.

From my own perspective, there are distinct differences between masking one's autistic traits and behaviors as opposed to deliberate, strategic deception for personal gain.

Yet another aspect of life in 256 shades of grey, rather than black and white rationale. With certain personalities I have no choice but to either mask my traits and behaviors they are already aware of, or risk inevitable confrontation with them. Starting with my own brother and a second cousin who know who I am, yet it doesn't change their expectations to communicate and relate to them on their level- not mine.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

yup, starting or igniting, building the attraction i'm sure will always be on the mans shoulders, to sum it up, a woman doesn't need to know how to attract a man, its only men that need to know how to attract a woman.

 

[Hypnalis]

yup, starting or igniting, building the attraction i'm sure will always be on the mans shoulders, to sum it up, a woman doesn't need to know how to attract a man, its only men that need to know how to attract a woman.

IMO you're more correct than wrong, but you frequently phase it in such a polarized way that what you say taken as a whole is incorrect anyway.

An exercise for you (seriously):

Split people (assume all "single"): into 3 groups: young adult; adult interested in a family and children; past child bearing age

Note that it's not a "clean" partitioning: of all humans - think of it as selection into some very large categories, with all exceptions and "corner cases" excluded to keep it short and simple.

My assertion is that mating dynamics change significantly across those groups (which are more-or-less clusters based on physical, mental, and emotional maturity.

So the exercise:
List (for yourself) the interaction and relationship dynamics for all 6 (which have been simplified into 3 pairs).

You "win" if you get 6 distinct answers as three pairs, with simple "in-pair" and "between-pairs" patterns

If you want to discuss it please use DM.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Nothing, they are repelled by me. They look at me with a neutral face but with talk to the next guy no problem. Then I get gaslighted like it's all my fault that they are going through crap, but they talk to the next dickhead near them and 100% ignore me. Then eventually I react now getting more profane, aggressive and throwing things. Then some guy, 100% a guy puts me to the side and gives me the speech defending them.

 

[Jonn]

I don't know, I read through the list and was like number 1 would be irritating. Number 2 would be irritating. Number 3 would be irritating. etc etc. Not a big fan of overly muscular men in designer, freshly tailored jeans. And to be frank I don't like rich people.

Spoiler: joke

You are not a typical woman, so your opinion doesn't count.

 

[Jonn]

You are cheap.
I am frugal...!

Some say: "You are a White Knight".
I prefer: "You are a caring person".

Depending on context, of course.

 

[Jonn]

People (whether male or female) are individuals with their own likes and dislikes, therefore such videos are pretty useless. The only way to find the person who is right for you is to simply be you.

The point of presenting these videos can be misunderstood.
Consider: An opportunity for discussion.

Some ppl seem to think that if someone presents a video/article, they agree with everything in it.
That is highly unlikely in most situations.

If someone disagrees with something in an article, all that needs to be done is to present a rational, cogent rebuttal.
Freedom of thought...
Freedom of open, fair-minded discussion is a good thing, surely.

 

[Jonn]

Perhaps...maybe...autistic women, in general, operate on a different set of values when it comes to a potential male partner in life.

I have personally observed that generally, women on the spectrum tend to be more forgiving than NT women who seem to be more affected by social indoctrination, imo.

 

[Jonn]

I dreamed all the time about moving away to a place where I could belong (definitely didn't belong with wealthy people).

Wealth is a spectrum.
There is a lot between the poles of rich and poor.

 

[Jonn]

Trying to change who you are in hopes of building a connection of any sort, that's just masking, and potentially building a connection on a foundation of lies, which will fall apart sooner or later.

That is one way of looking at it.
Another is that we learn and grow when confronted with different situations, and incorporate the insight gained.
If anyone maintains the same personality/attitude throughout their entire life, it may suggest a problem.

At the end of the day, most folks, whether romantic or platonic, are looking for someone who is caring, interesting, and able to care for themselves, however they may define those attributes.

Without compatible personalities, relationships can be rather two-dimensional, and personally speaking, unfulfilling.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Hmmmm...superman? DOn't think so. I grew up in a huge house with a marble staircase. My father a surgeon made lots of money. I started resenting, then despising my parents' wealthy friends and children from around 11 years old. I found them to be cruel, and stupid and despised how superficial they could be,. My parents would have big cocktail parties, where people wore suits and expensive dresses, there was decorum and all these weird expections about what people were supposed to wear and not wear, what you were supposed to talk and not talk about--no one considered not wealthy was ever invited. I never liked those things, in fact couldn't stand them, and as an autistic person there was no way to negotiate and deal with all the pretenses. I dreamed all the time about moving away to a place where I could belong (definitely didn't belong with wealthy people). Wound up working in homeless shelters for a few year--didn't have anything. Lived in a community of people who were in a commune, hippies. Now I live very modestly, wouldn't have any reason for hanging out with the upper class, and actually don't really ever meet rich peeople. But I like it like this. Superman? Nah. I don't like his tights.

Yeah, I can see that. I've run across some real superficial people in my life, some people I frankly get the feeling they are "snakes" with all the deceptive smiles whilst scheming how they are going to screw over another person. There certainly can be a rather toxic form of competitiveness with the excuse..."Nothing personal, just business". In other words, "I am going to take what you have and I am not going to think, at all, how that may affect you." A rather sociopathic, almost psychopathic sort of mind at work.

However, I have also run across some of the most generous, down-to-Earth people of wealth who appear genuinely interested in your well-being and are gracious hosts. In the end, I think that this is individualized. Our hospital is largely supported by the philanthropy of the DeVos family. The "old man" who started the Amway corporation, Richard DeVos was a very humble, kind soul. Richard Devos, Jr, a member of our board, just comes off like a slimy snake...yeah, that was his wife who was head of the Federal Education Department during Trumps first term...every bit the pretentious, entitled, snob. Their kids...are all involved in all sorts of philanthropic endeavors and are very nice people...skipped a generation.

 

[Matthias]

Nothing, they are repelled by me. They look at me with a neutral face but with talk to the next guy no problem. Then I get gaslighted like it's all my fault that they are going through crap, but they talk to the next dickhead near them and 100% ignore me. Then eventually I react now getting more profane, aggressive and throwing things. Then some guy, 100% a guy puts me to the side and gives me the speech defending them.

Do you ever think to ask yourself why all these women are willing to talk to other men but not you?

Which of the following do you think is more likely?
1. You are the problem.
2. There is something wrong will all of the women where you live.

Hopefully, it's not #2 because, while you can change yourself, you can't change other people. If these women don't like you because they're defective, there is nothing you can do about it. However, if you are the problem, you can improve yourself to get some of these women to like you.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Nope, it's definitely 2.

I connected and had a great time with two nerdy shy type girls glasses funny laughs which I enjoy. Once I sketch with a meetup. Another I watched the movie Ghost 1990 with laughter together again nerdy girl.

It's those Prada Bee's that annoy me. Before you say it they are like locust everywhere around in NYC, Many of the nerdy girls have boyfriends and the snobby girls don't. I wonder why? So yes, it's damn hard to find the nerdy girls I click with.

Brooklyn is full of snobby women. Manhattan is much worse. Now that we are halfway through summer, I am going to try to find events in Queens. Ironically, I meet some nice women who reside there from various meetups and events.

 

[Jonn]

Do you ever think to ask yourself why all these women are willing to talk to other men but not you?

This is a very important question to ask.

Which of the following do you think is more likely?
1. You are the problem.
2. There is something wrong will all of the women where you live.

Hopefully, it's not #2 because, while you can change yourself, you can't change other people. If these women don't like you because they're defective, there is nothing you can do about it. However, if you are the problem, you can improve yourself to get some of these women to like you.

Something to think about, yes.