How can I make it happen at my age?

[Markness]

Didn't Mark say it was illegal in in the state of Texas where he lives when someone recommended it.

It’s indeed illegal to seek out sex work in Texas. There are even cases of undercover cops posing as hookers arresting those who hand them money.

 

[Markness]

Yes.

The individual who made the comment in Post #78 doesn't live in Texas.

Markness does live in Texas.

It’s not fun living here unless you buy into certain forms of propaganda and think this place is the last bastion of “freedom.”

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

As always there are plenty of people out there that are either for it or against it when it comes to sex work or just paying for sex, will likely always be a controversial industry or service

 

[Misty Avich]

I'm not for or against it really.

 

[tree]

Note:
A discussion of the pro/cons of prostitution is outside
the scope of this thread.

Further replies should be directed toward OP's topic.

 

[Markness]

When I see couples at places like Barnes & Noble, especially if the two in it are people outside the norm of the crummy culture I live in, I wonder how their relationships started.

I honestly fear being told “No” so that’s partly why I don’t date. The last time I ever asked someone out, she told me she was “too busy”, which is another reply I fear.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

A major reason why I was never a fan of approaching women is not so much rejection but it's more so the fear of being labeled creepy or just the worry of accidentally making a woman feel uncomfortable or the risk of violating her boundaries or personal space

 

[Cryptid]

Make yourself attractive to the type of woman you want to meet, and they will be less likely to reject you. They may even be more likely to approach you first.

 

[tree]

I honestly fear being told “No” so that’s partly why I don’t date. The last time I ever asked someone out, she told me she was “too busy”, which is another reply I fear.

You fear being told *No* or *I'm too busy.*

What are you telling yourself those things mean?

 

[Markness]

You fear being told *No* or *I'm too busy.*

What are you telling yourself those things mean?

“What did I do wrong?”, “Why doesn’t she like me?”, and “I put myself out there and didn’t succeed.”

 

[tree]

When a girl turns you down you tell yourself that
you must have done something wrong, that she
doesn't like you, and that you are a failure.

Isn't it possible that sometimes when a girl says
she's too busy, what she means is she's too busy?


What happens after someone tells you they're too busy
to go with you on the proposed date? What is your
followup?

 

[VictorR]

When I see couples at places like Barnes & Noble, especially if the two in it are people outside the norm of the crummy culture I live in, I wonder how their relationships started.

Have you ever approached and asked such couples about how they met?

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

Make yourself attractive to the type of woman you want to meet, and they will be less likely to reject you. They may even be more likely to approach you first.

Reminds me of a powerful quote, statement

 

[Mary Terry]

Make yourself attractive to the type of woman you want to meet, and they will be less likely to reject you. They may even be more likely to approach you first.

Another useful corollary to your comment is that people should be realistic about the type of woman they actually are likely to attract.

 

[tree]

Have you ever approached and asked such couples about how they met?

That could be so fun and complimentary.

 

[Misty Avich]

I understand how hurtful rejection can feel, even if it's not personal. It can be embarrassing for a guy to be rejected by a girl.

I've never really been rejected by guys I wanted to date, except once in school, which was a little embarrassing, but it didn't seem to have an impact on my confidence around men. The other sort of rejection I faced from my peers when trying to making friends has affected my confidence.

I've never really been dumped or turned down by a guy (not NOT bragging, I'm just sharing my experience). If anything I was the one who dumped them (not nastily though), because I didn't fancy them, and it's actually kinder to end a relationship before it has begun than to string them along and lie. The first kiss always tells me whether I really like them or not. If I kiss them and cringe after, it means I don't fancy them even if I thought I did. If I feel delighted after the first kiss then it means I do fancy them.

As an atypical Aspie who can intuitively recognise subtle social cues, I can always sense that a guy likes me even if he doesn't make it obvious. So it's quite easy to find a relationship for me. I'm not sure this is true for all Aspie women though.

However, I've had bad experiences with friends and my teenage life where I often get haunted by flashbacks.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

I understand how hurtful rejection can feel, even if it's not personal. It can be embarrassing for a guy to be rejected by a girl.

I've never really been rejected by guys I wanted to date, except once in school, which was a little embarrassing, but it didn't seem to have an impact on my confidence around men. The other sort of rejection I faced from my peers when trying to making friends has affected my confidence.

I've never really been dumped or turned down by a guy (not NOT bragging, I'm just sharing my experience). If anything I was the one who dumped them (not nastily though), because I didn't fancy them, and it's actually kinder to end a relationship before it has begun than to string them along and lie. The first kiss always tells me whether I really like them or not. If I kiss them and cringe after, it means I don't fancy them even if I thought I did. If I feel delighted after the first kiss then it means I do fancy them.

As an atypical Aspie who can intuitively recognise subtle social cues, I can always sense that a guy likes me even if he doesn't make it obvious. So it's quite easy to find a relationship for me. I'm not sure this is true for all Aspie women though.

However, I've had bad experiences with friends and my teenage life where I often get haunted by flashbacks.

Obviously different for you as a woman since you're never expected to pursue or approach a guy or be the initiator in anything

 

[Mary Terry]

Obviously different for you as a woman since you're never expected to pursue or approach a guy or be the initiator in anything

You're very hung up on the concept that society doesn't expect women to be the initiator for friendly or romantic relationship building. Truthfully, we females can and do initiate these contacts all the time, but I think we are more subtle than most men when we do it. Maybe fine-tune your observations of women in case you are overlooking the fact that we can and do take the first step in many situations?

 

[Misty Avich]

I must admit that men can more easily be mistaken for creepy. When I was 18-19 I had a crush on a bus-driver, and would often wait around at bus stops for his bus then get on (luckily I had a free bus pass back then), and would flirt with him. The regular passengers (mostly elderly) began recognising me and joking to him "your wife's waiting for you!" But despite me being the one hanging around him (even though he liked it but he never touched me), he got reported by one passenger.
Now, if I was the guy and he was a female, I'd probably have been called creepy for hanging around the buses like that. But as a female, people just see it as annoying maybe, but not creepy.

So it must be hard for socially awkward guys to try and attract a woman without being mistaken for creepy. Unless a woman is being a bit crazy and seems like a danger to the public, but I wasn't.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

You're very hung up on the concept that society doesn't expect women to be the initiator for friendly or romantic relationship building. Truthfully, we females can and do initiate these contacts all the time, but I think we are more subtle than most men when we do it. Maybe fine-tune your observations of women in case you are overlooking the fact that we can and do take the first step in many situations?

It's still very rare for a woman to ask a guy out or for a woman to be the one to approach a guy or let alone be the one to initiate the relationship