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How can I make it happen at my age?

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Markness

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
I am 35 years old and I don’t date despite wanting to. Some factors in this are that I am socially isolated due to both the effects autism causes for me and being a non-religious person in a Bible Belt city. I struggle with clinical depression both from the loneliness and the trauma I’ve been afflicted with from being bullied from both family members and social peers in my developmental years and failing to achieve accomplishments despite my best efforts. I worry that my time is running out, especially since I am getting close to being middle aged and men who struggle socially often have unfair stigmas placed on them.
 
I can understand that you are worried. It can be difficult to be alone and getting older. But remember that much stranger things have happened than a middle-aged man meeting someone. It's not hopeless, even if it feels like that sometimes. You have been alone for a while and that makes it feel more intense. You have to hang in there and do what you can to change your situation. That's all people can do. If I remember right you live in or close to a big city with many people, so you shouldn't worry about being non-religious. I'm very sure there are lots of people who don't care about that, even if it is a bible belt city. And the US is a huge country with so many people.
 
Markness said:
I am 35 years old and I don’t date despite wanting to. Some factors in this are that I am socially isolated due to both the effects autism causes for me and being a non-religious person in a Bible Belt city. I struggle with clinical depression both from the loneliness and the trauma I’ve been afflicted with from being bullied from both family members and social peers in my developmental years and failing to achieve accomplishments despite my best efforts. I worry that my time is running out, especially since I am getting close to being middle aged and men who struggle socially often have unfair stigmas placed on them.
Click to expand...

Good summary of many threads you have made on this subject.

All the familiar elements are listed.

When's your next therapy appointment?
 
Markness said:
I am 35 years old and I don’t date despite wanting to. Some factors in this are that I am socially isolated due to both the effects autism causes for me and being a non-religious person in a Bible Belt city. I struggle with clinical depression both from the loneliness and the trauma I’ve been afflicted with from being bullied from both family members and social peers in my developmental years and failing to achieve accomplishments despite my best efforts. I worry that my time is running out, especially since I am getting close to being middle aged and men who struggle socially often have unfair stigmas placed on them.
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Fear exists in your head. You are letting it control you. Step up and control it. It's difficult...I am well aware of this...if I can fight through it, you can as well.
 
Your time isn’t running out. Most stigmas are perceived. There are worse things in life than not dating or being married. Work hard at really knowing yourself deeply and strive for contentment in your mind. You will find that in time perceived life challenges will mellow and the voices around you will fade. This is important and you are cared for here. Keep posting.
 
I did not know I was on the spectrum until my mid-fifties, just lived my life overcame obstacles as they came head on. found a girlfriend got married had kids. My youngest son your age just had his first kid, As I said previously, he went outside the box to meet his fiancé. got what he was looking for, basically fail to plan, plan to fail.
 
If you are indeed near a large city, there should be some secular humanist/agnostic groups around, even if it is bible belt. I'm a non-religious person in such an area and those groups are in my city. Search them out. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
 
tree said:
Good summary of many threads you have made on this subject.

All the familiar elements are listed.

When's your next therapy appointment?
Click to expand...
I don’t want my detractors to think they’ve won.

I see this Tuesday.
 
Markness said:
I don’t want my detractors to think they’ve won.

I see this Tuesday.
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Yes, the statement that you don't want your detractors to think they've won
is another element you frequently reiterate.

How does your therapy help you?
 
Cryptid said:
WHAT detractors? Do you mean those who have offered encouragement and helpful advice that you ignore?
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I can’t list their names because of forum rules. All I can say is that there are those who do indeed dislike me and don’t want me to have a girlfriend. They want me gone from here and also don’t want anyone to help me.
 
I'm sure you feel plenty of sadness.

Some of it's from stories you tell yourself.

As far as protection, you do a great job of protecting yourself
from attacks that don't exist.

Many supportive things people have said to you on this forum you persist
in believing are what you call "jabs."
 
Markness said:
I can’t list their names because of forum rules. All I can say is that there are those who do indeed dislike me and don’t want me to have a girlfriend. They want me gone from here and also don’t want anyone to help me.
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Have you reported them to the Staff Members?

WHICH forum rules prevent you from listing their names?

How do you "KNOW" that they don't want you to have a girlfriend, and why should it matter if they did?

How do you "KNOW" that they want you gone?

How do you "KNOW" they don't want anyone to help you?
 
tree said:
I'm sure you feel plenty of sadness.

Some of it's from stories you tell yourself.

As far as protection, you do a great job of protecting yourself from attacks that don't exist.

Many supportive things people have said to you on this forum you persist in believing are what you call "jabs."
Click to expand...
(Bolding mine.)

Binge-reading his previous threads seems to support your claims.
 
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