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Emotional support cat is gone.

Sarahrken

New Member
My emotional support cat Bilbo died yesturday morning he had a cardiac arrest and he died. I am on the spectrum and while I have suffered loses in my life I have never ever felt pain like this it’s an alien feeling, I am generally pretty emotionless. I am 30 years old I have no children he was my child my everything, I was his comfort and he mine. I have another cat but our bond is nothing like what Bilbo and I had. I miss him so much the pain is unbearable. I can never see myself being the same again. What a massive void such a small little guy has left.
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Raggamuffin

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
My honest advice would be to get another cat or pet. Nothing quite helps grieving and sorrow like the novelty and love of a new pet. Obviously, do it at a time when it feels right for you. But I genuinely believe it'd help heal a broken heart. Coping with loss is hard. Feeling like a void has been left is a deeply unsettling feeling which I've encountered many a time.

On a recent holiday to Cornwall with my girlfriend (now ex) her dog had fits over the course of 4 days, and died on the last night of our holiday. We rushed to the vets in the early hours and I was with the dog in the final hours and it was harrowing.

I always doubted wanting a dog of my own, as I felt I could never cope with the intense loss and terror of a pet dying. Strangely enough, living through that - actually made me realise I will get a dog, and probably sooner rather than later.

All the best. I hope things improve.

Ed
 

Moogwizard

My mind is my own church
V.I.P Member
My emotional support cat Bilbo died yesturday morning he had a cardiac arrest and he died. I am on the spectrum and while I have suffered loses in my life I have never ever felt pain like this it’s an alien feeling, I am generally pretty emotionless. I am 30 years old I have no children he was my child my everything, I was his comfort and he mine. I have another cat but our bond is nothing like what Bilbo and I had. I miss him so much the pain is unbearable. I can never see myself being the same again. What a massive void such a small little guy has left. View attachment 88907View attachment 88908View attachment 88909
My emotional support cat Bilbo died yesturday morning he had a cardiac arrest and he died. I am on the spectrum and while I have suffered loses in my life I have never ever felt pain like this it’s an alien feeling, I am generally pretty emotionless. I am 30 years old I have no children he was my child my everything, I was his comfort and he mine. I have another cat but our bond is nothing like what Bilbo and I had. I miss him so much the pain is unbearable. I can never see myself being the same again. What a massive void such a small little guy has left. View attachment 88907View attachment 88908View attachment 88909
So sorry to hear this . I can relate to your pain . I had a wonderful Cat named Ally . She and I were really bonded . But she got really old and passed away . There is not a day that doesn’t go by and I don’t think of her and miss her it’s been 2 years I have another Cat but he is annoying and I don’t have a bond with him . I hope things will get better and you find another cat to bond with . I haven’t yet .
 

Forest Cat

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Sorry for your loss, I'm experiencing the same thing and it's just awful. I get so attached to animals.



My honest advice would be to get another cat or pet. Nothing quite helps grieving and sorrow like the novelty and love of a new pet. Obviously, do it at a time when it feels right for you.

I was thinking about that, but I didn't do it because it feels too much like I'm replacing her. It just seems wrong and for me it wouldn't help anyway. But maybe it works for others.
 

Duna

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
So sorry for your loss. I went through something similar a few months back, when of my dogs suddenly died. She was the one that helped me sleep at nights, providing pressure and helping me breathe.
I did what @Raggamuffin suggests:
My honest advice would be to get another cat or pet. Nothing quite helps grieving and sorrow like the novelty and love of a new pet.
It took me two or three weeks before I began looking for a new dog to adopt. Another two before I found one. Of course it wasn't easy at first, got into trouble with the neighbor, almost had to return her. But it really helped getting over the feeling of loss. And now my new pup helps me sleep at night (my other dog likes to sleep alone, she's not very cuddly).
 

Duna

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I was thinking about that, but I didn't do it because it feels too much like I'm replacing her.
Yes, I thought the same and it kept me back a little. And even thought the "replacement" would only be a "void-filler".
But no. In my case, both thoughts turned out to be wrong.

I think it's a question of timing.
When my first cat disappeared (kidnapped by an elderly neighbor as I learned months later) I didn't adopt another pet for many years. But my life was constantly changing at that time, so I didn't even have opportunity to feel much loss. I didn't even allow myself to feel much of anything at that time.

@Sarahrken Bilbo was beautiful, and it's obvious in the photos that the both of you had a deep connection. Again: sorry for your loss.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
Bilbo was a precious beautiful sweetheart. I’m so sorry for the huge hole that has been left in your life. I understand completely - my very best buddy Leela passed long ago and the sorrow nearly destroyed me. I’m not sure I could say that this type of pain can go away, but I think it will change over time and you may learn to incorporate it into your life in a way that doesn’t hurt so much. When we lose a little one like your cat, some of us will always feel their loss.

He was a part of you, and now he is gone. Perhaps, it could be helpful to think about what Bilbo would want. Bilbo loved you and probably loved to see you calm and happy, and he would want you to find those things again.

It was also helpful to me to keep my dogs ashes (a very personal decision for anybody, I’m not suggesting anything, just reporting what helped for me), and other small momentos (like a ring) that were dedicated to her that I could used to focus some of my sadness.

Bilbo, I’m sorry that I never got to meet you and thank you for making @Sarahrken so happy in this life.
 

Darkkin

Lioness of Spoons
V.I.P Member
I had my previous cat (CatCat) for two decades, (rescued her from under our neighbors' shed when she was a kitten). I was also the one who had to make the decision to let her go. (Old age, multiple systems were shutting down. It was time and she was so ready to go.)

The pain of that hole was unbelievable, but it was the right decision. So was the decision getting another kitty.

Three days after we lost CatCat a friend gave me Potato Samwise Gamgee, the Second Breakfast Cat. And as I've gotten older, as much as I loved my pets (dogs and cats), the ones who come along later dig just a little deeper into my soul.

A new pet is never meant to replace the one we lost, but they do help to remind us WHY we have pets in the first place.

After CatCat, I didn't want another cat, especially a kitten. And a kitten is exactly what I got, what I didn't know I needed.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
So glad you have pictures of you two together. The eyes of that fur child are so knowing and peaceful. Definitely some cats are very spiritual animals, and this was that type of relationship you both had. It's kinda of a grieving period that you must go through and l am so sorry to hear of your loss.
 

Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
So sorry for your loss. I never really got over the death of my beloved Yorkie in November of 2005. Yet I agonize that I have gone so long without a little pal. Probably a mistake in hindsight.

Either way, it's a tough experience to deal with.
 

Gerald Wilgus

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
We all grieve differently. There was one cat that when I lost her, it affected me deeply. She interacted so personally with me. I enjoy reading a little before getting to sleep, and while she was never a lap cat, at those times she curled up alongside me with her paw on my arm, as if reading over my shoulder.

There is nothing wrong with feeling strong emotions towards the loss of our pets, who have offered us companionship.
 

Luca

charm & chaos
V.I.P Member
This thread made me cry :(

I’m so sorry to you Sarah for losing your beautiful cat Bilbo, and to everyone else who has lost an animal.

For some of my past dogs, it has been years, and I still get emotional every day. I still have all their collars and toys, and there are still framed pictures of all of them in my house. It has never gotten easier for me :(

The group of dogs I have now are the best ones I’ve had and the ones I’m the most attached to, and I don’t know what I’m going to do when any of them are gone…

My advice is to get another animal, someday, when you’re ready emotionally. It might feel like you’re replacing the previous one at first and you might have feelings of guilt at first, but you’re not really replacing anyone, and your next pet will bring lots of joy to your life too.
I could not live without dogs or other animals in my life so I always end up with another one eventually. They are all unique and special in their own way and there will always be room in your heart for more. They will love you and provide comfort and loyalty for years to come.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
This thread made me cry :(

I’m so sorry to you Sarah for losing your beautiful cat Bilbo, and to everyone else who has lost an animal.

For some of my past dogs, it has been years, and I still get emotional every day. I still have all their collars and toys, and there are still framed pictures of all of them in my house. It has never gotten easier for me :(

The group of dogs I have now are the best ones I’ve had and the ones I’m the most attached to, and I don’t know what I’m going to do when any of them are gone…

My advice is to get another animal, someday, when you’re ready emotionally. It might feel like you’re replacing the previous one at first and you might have feelings of guilt at first, but you’re not really replacing anyone, and your next pet will bring lots of joy to your life too.
I could not live without dogs or other animals in my life so I always end up with another one eventually. They are all unique and special in their own way and there will always be room in your heart for more. They will love you and provide comfort and loyalty for years to come.
Now you are making me cry Luca.
 

VictorR

Random Member
V.I.P Member
I'm sorry about Bilbao, Sarah, and likewise my condolences to everyone else on their losses.

I hope that you can, in your memories find solace in that you had the opportunity to cherish being with each other for the time that you did, and that surely, that they're thinking of and miss you as well.

FbHS3YCVUAArfP1
 

Duna

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
@VictorR Love the comic, but I'm not so 100% convinced pets are all about us humans. And that's okay, because they have the right to be selfish when they need or want to be, just like us.
 

Streetwise

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Your life has changed forever, we are not meant to die, but know this animals go to heaven :hibiscus::cat: ,the pain changes becomes dull, but! it returns sometimes, just not a terrible, sudden death is! terrible.

As you age you'll experience more death.

To anyone reading dont buy a pedigree cat ,dog, rabbit ,bird reptile, amphibian, herbivore (chinchilla)go to a rescue that has a no kill policy, they need the support financially!:ambulance:
 

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