Am I in an abusive relationship? I am subject to daily barrage of insults, complaints, and demands (almost never hear "please" or "could you"). And when there are not enough complaints, she goes looking for them. Her idea of cooperating is "Do exactly what I say when I say it." I don't mind much when she hits me (actually rarely), since she uses her forearms to hit and doesn't have enough strength to hurt. She did push me down the stairs once. I think this counts as abuse.
Codependent? She knows she can't live on her own, she needs me to support her. If I am unexpectedly late coming home or if I go somewhere, she becomes extremely upset and worried, although it soon devolves to demands to account to every second (see above). I have said we stay together for the sake of our son. He is now over 21 and can take care of himself. The real reason is that I find a painful, abusive relationship is better then being completely alone. If I were on my own again, I would probably not be alive very long (to clarify, I'm talking suicide). How's that for codependent?
It was sort of painful writing this. I think it constantly, but documenting it sort of adds a finality and solidity to it that I find disturbing. Most people who have been here a while should be aware of my social functioning, which answers the next question.