Daydreamer
Scatterbrained Creative
I don't know why, but lately I've been thinking about something that happened three or so months ago. My tutors arranged this University trip which was at this escape the room challenge. Unfortunately, there was a rather overwhelming buffet section of the trip and I lost my cool a bit. I began to sway as I felt increasingly uncomfortable in my surroundings. So I decided to lock myself in a toilet stall and try to calm myself down. However, my tutor most likely heard me crying and even if she didn't then she would've been able to tell due to the redness of my eyes. She put it down to tiredness, whilst the other tutor asked if it was because I failed the challenge. I lied by agreeing that it was just because I was tired and a sore loser, when actually the real reason was that I got overwhelmed.
Lying is just easier sometimes than explaining the truth. It's odd to think that to this day they think that I burst into tears in a toilet stall because I lost at some trivial challenge. Oh well, I doubt they even think about that, they've probably forgotten all about it.
The best way I can think of to describe what it feels like when I get overwhelmed is to compare it to a coil that gradually gets tighter. It's exhausting, stressful, and sometimes I need to let all of my emotions out in a private place before I can recover and go back to normal. Otherwise that coil keeps on getting tighter until it suddenly snaps back into a looser position and everything just spews out in a big mess. Maybe this is a bad comparison. I don't know.
Even after the event this sense of being overwhelmed hung over me and refused to leave. I explained what happened to a friend when they noticed a change in my behaviour, and since we've known each other for a few years, they understood since they know about how I can be. Unfortunately, I ended up acting rudely and snapping at people in our kitchen (I live in a shared student accommodation) only to suddenly run out of the room much to the confusion of others.
My friend explained to my flatmates about my sensitivities, and how this can lead to me acting impulsively even when I don't mean to. Apparently one of my flatmates suggested that they collectively come up with a code word to signify that I was in one of those moods and that what I say during that time should be taken with a grain of salt. The other flatmates found this amusing, and my friend remarked that there was no need for such a word because he would let them know anyway.
I'm fortunate to have such an understanding friend, he explained my situation (which I usually can't do all that well during these moods) made sure I was OK, brought me my food which I had left in the kitchen, dimmed the lights (which helps me return back to feeling normal) and played one of my favourite songs before leaving me to recover alone. He's been around before when these moments happen, so he knows how I handle them.
*Shakes head* It's odd to think that people want to make up code words rather than talk about it directly. Perhaps they just don't want to offend me or something. Maybe they think it would just make things easier so then it's less of a mystery determining if I'm in one of those moods. Still, it can be strange to think about. I wish I was less impulsive in these moments. *Sigh* Maybe I'll find a way one day.
Lying is just easier sometimes than explaining the truth. It's odd to think that to this day they think that I burst into tears in a toilet stall because I lost at some trivial challenge. Oh well, I doubt they even think about that, they've probably forgotten all about it.
The best way I can think of to describe what it feels like when I get overwhelmed is to compare it to a coil that gradually gets tighter. It's exhausting, stressful, and sometimes I need to let all of my emotions out in a private place before I can recover and go back to normal. Otherwise that coil keeps on getting tighter until it suddenly snaps back into a looser position and everything just spews out in a big mess. Maybe this is a bad comparison. I don't know.
Even after the event this sense of being overwhelmed hung over me and refused to leave. I explained what happened to a friend when they noticed a change in my behaviour, and since we've known each other for a few years, they understood since they know about how I can be. Unfortunately, I ended up acting rudely and snapping at people in our kitchen (I live in a shared student accommodation) only to suddenly run out of the room much to the confusion of others.
My friend explained to my flatmates about my sensitivities, and how this can lead to me acting impulsively even when I don't mean to. Apparently one of my flatmates suggested that they collectively come up with a code word to signify that I was in one of those moods and that what I say during that time should be taken with a grain of salt. The other flatmates found this amusing, and my friend remarked that there was no need for such a word because he would let them know anyway.
I'm fortunate to have such an understanding friend, he explained my situation (which I usually can't do all that well during these moods) made sure I was OK, brought me my food which I had left in the kitchen, dimmed the lights (which helps me return back to feeling normal) and played one of my favourite songs before leaving me to recover alone. He's been around before when these moments happen, so he knows how I handle them.
*Shakes head* It's odd to think that people want to make up code words rather than talk about it directly. Perhaps they just don't want to offend me or something. Maybe they think it would just make things easier so then it's less of a mystery determining if I'm in one of those moods. Still, it can be strange to think about. I wish I was less impulsive in these moments. *Sigh* Maybe I'll find a way one day.
