furkandorum
Member
Last year, there was girl in my class. I fell in love with her, but i never had the self-confidence to talk with her as more than a classmate. I think this part is normal but i was always incredibly nervous around her, my social anxiety was at the top. I don't want to tell to much detail. In short; i fell in love, never knew what she was thinking about me, never talked to her about it. This was how the last year ended. Never seen her again since the last June, i don't have her social media or number, nothing. But... after one year of not seeing her, i just can't stop thinking about her. Those tiny little social interactions are keep spinning in my head all the time. Sometimes her face gets blurry in my mind, sometimes i realize that i don't even know her personality that well as i wasn't close with her like i said. But these types of thoughts are making me feel so uncomfortable. She still has a spot in my brain that i can never understand. I feel like she is more like a symbol than a person for me. She reminds me good feelings. She always smiles in my head, she is not like all that other peope that makes my skin crawl.
What makes her so special for me? Is it even possible to know that? She was smiling at me, is that really enough for me to put her in a spot in my head like this, can i be really this much screwed up socially?
And i know this wont sound logically but i feel like this was my one and only "love" experience. Her being in my head nearly all the time making it so hard for me to care about others. Will this ever end?
What makes her so special for me? Is it even possible to know that? She was smiling at me, is that really enough for me to put her in a spot in my head like this, can i be really this much screwed up socially?
And i know this wont sound logically but i feel like this was my one and only "love" experience. Her being in my head nearly all the time making it so hard for me to care about others. Will this ever end?