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Featured Can You Repeat That?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Noa, Jun 19, 2018.

  1. Noa

    Noa New Member

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    I don't know if other people have this, but if I'm really caught up in something like writing or reading or something of the sort, and someone starts talking to me, I don't register it for several seconds or sometimes not at all.

    Even when they call my name first, it still takes some time for me to actually register anything.

    In addition to that, if I don't know the person is there I don't register when they start talking. Like if I'm walking through my house and someone comes up behind me and asks me something, I have to turn around and ask them to repeat it even though I wasn't focused on anything in particular. This annoys me and probably other people too.

    I'm just wondering, does anyone else have this? Is it linked to Asperger's or is it more probably that it's an ADHD thing?
     
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  2. NShoreEndo

    NShoreEndo Aspie and Aspie parent

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    Not hearing someone, or taking a while to register their existence when you’re hyperfocused is a classic ADD trait. It’s why an annoying ringtone plays whenever my spouse calls or texts me; a normal tone wouldn’t get my attention. :grimacing:
     
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  3. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Yes, this happens to me all the time. I don't know whether it is an ASD or ADD thing or not, I think that NTs do it, too. If my NT partner is concentrating on something, he doesn't always answer and I need to repeat it.

    I have asked my partner to always check that I have heard when he tells me something, or to catch my attention before speaking, because otherwise I don't hear what he's saying, he assumes that I heard and it leads to misunderstandings.
     
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  4. Catana

    Catana Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Actually, it's a human thing. There's nothing unusual about being so immersed in something you're doing that you don't realize someone has spoken to you. If you have a problem with central auditory processing (which can go along with Asperger's but isn't one of its symptoms) that could make it more of a problem.
     
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  5. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

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    Yes and is a major bug bear of my husband, who swears I am deliberately ignoring him. :(
     
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  6. Dillon Campbell

    Dillon Campbell Well-Known Member

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    I tend to zone out in my own world sometimes when people call my name. “Who, What, did someone call me oh I guess it’s not important” lol but after the third time I find out someone is actually calling me so it is important.
     
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  7. DCA

    DCA Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I get this too but never associated it with being on the spectrum.
     
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  8. OlLiE

    OlLiE Well-Known Member

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    yep, i call it ollieland, the greatest place to be
     
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  9. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Happens to me all the time. I don't know what it is but always guessed it was my brain being too focused on something and not paying attention to the environment around me.

    In the military I have been so focused troubleshooting/repairing things that small explosions and fires have occurred right near me without me noticing. :D
     
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  10. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Good question.

    There's one's basic hearing ability to consider, but also the immediate mental processing of what one heard and how focused or not they may be to consider as well.

    In the case of those of us on the spectrum, how much outside, extraneous noise there is to obscure what we hear must also be factored in. Unwanted or unintended sounds and other nearby conversations can easily throw me off in such instances when trying to understand what one person is saying to me.
     
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  11. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Imagine two aspies living together neither of whom want to be interrupted. Last night I looked up and it was two o'clock in the morning and thought: "What have I been doing for the last six hours on the internet?". Did I eat? What day is it? Had to look outside so that I could figure out if it was two o'clock in the morning or the afternoon. My Husband is the same way. Both of us have to sit down and face one another, to get the other's attention.
     
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  12. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    When I was in college, I would hyperfocus so badly that people complained that they had been talking to me for several minutes and I hadn't responded or even acknowledged them.

    I decided to use a "recorded message". One time at work, I was hyperfocused and became aware that someone was standing next to me and had probably said something. I said, "I'm focused on this right now. I'll be able to talk to you in just a second." I finished what I was working on and had to very deliberately pull myself out of that focus to talk to the person. They were somewhat bemused at my obviously canned response, but it worked well enough.
     
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  13. Catana

    Catana Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I isn't associated with being on the spectrum, so you haven't missed anything. See my first comment.
     
  14. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    For me it can happen in several different instances,

    I will ask someone to repeat what they’ve just said to make sure I’ve got the context correct,
    Or stalling for time to assemble an answer or find a script.

    Another instance I can see someone’s mouth moving and I know they’re speaking but It’s just noise.

    I literally have no idea what words they’ve just spoken, this is rarer.

    And like others, I block everything out, extraneous noises (including human speech) and only have focus for that which I’m working on.
     
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  15. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    I just can't multi-listen and my live-in doesn't seem to get that.
    He'll start talking when I'm trying to talk business on the phone and I have to stop and tell him I can't listen to two people at once. I think that is probably pretty human.

    If anything, I'm hypersensitive to everything around me.
    Problem is, I don't show any reaction visually and they think I didn't hear or not paying attention.
    Before I can speak they will react with a "did you hear what I just said? I'm asking you something."
    There again, if there is a few seconds lapse in my reply...:eek: angst!
    Sometimes if I'm busy and he is talking and I'm answering with Yes, No, Uh-huhs, and he throws in
    something like a semi-joke, and I don't reply. Then it's a "...and you didn't even hear what I just said."
    "yes, I heard." and repeat it back. I just didn't feel it was worth acknowledging.
     
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  16. hermitical

    hermitical New Member

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    I don't even have to be immersed in anything or really concentrating on something else. I often ask people to restart their sentences because it seems my ability to tune in to their conversation is on a small delay. As Gracey said:
    For what it is worth my diagnosis is both ADHD and Asperger's.
     
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  17. ladybug

    ladybug Well-Known Member

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    Yes....!!! My aspie partner, rarely replies the first time if I ask him something... He says he needs time to think.... It was frustrating at first.... But now, if it's something important , I place my hand on his arm - then ask... This gives him time to come out (of whatever thought he's in) and connect with me..... Oh and he ALWAYS asks what day it is.... I think he easily looses track of time and days...
    It's taken me a good while to not take it personally.... But he has just told me (after our week away on holiday ) that I am 'understanding, funny and very nice'.....!!!! Also that I am 'very easy to be with as I use no energy being with you...' :) heady stuff.....????
     
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  18. ksheehan88

    ksheehan88 :)

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    If I'm concentrating on reading or some such, I only ever catch the last word or two and irritably ask them to repeat. The reason I get irritable is because I was quite clearly reading something and they have interrupted that.
     
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  19. Chance

    Chance "all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien V.I.P Member

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    I will fall asleep sometimes after work and I will wake up and the clock might say 9:10 (or something) and I freak out because I think I overslept, and its the next day... When its not the next day - its the same evening. I did this just this past weekend, and had a house full of people laughing hysterically at me...
    Glad they thought it was funny. I kind of felt lost as usual... : )
     
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  20. Chance

    Chance "all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien V.I.P Member

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    "I cant just multi-listen" Perfect wording... neither can I... it all just goes into this droning mess. I try to pick out what makes sense and sometimes I have it all wrong, but it can be comical, or make me look like the worlds biggest idiot. : )
     
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