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AprilR

AprilR

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  • AprilR
    My mom invited me and my friend to the New Years party. I feel so out of place there and dont want to go.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I am way too old to spend time with my parents' friends. Everyone there is old and their sons and daughters have their own plans.
    AprilR
    Everyone talks about empathy and camaraderie, until someone is too different from you to relate. Choosing to protect and care about people different from you is more important
    View previous comments…
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    I also think that caring about others with different values, cultures, perspectives, ... Is very important. So I totally agree.
    Knower of nothing
    Knower of nothing
    It's not pure evil, but it is a nature of disregard. If only because the only type of true consideration we can do for the unrelatable Other is done as a type of play. It pokes at the self in stimulating ways. It entertains and molds self-image. But because it is play, it only works for a little bit, only sometimes. When there's room for it.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    @Knower of nothing:
    I don't think that is true. Just bc you can't relate to someone does not mean any help you give them is fake or play pretend. Humans also have the tendency to help those in need, and protect them. At least the potential.
    AprilR
    There are beautiful green parrots flying outside my window. I wonder if they escaped from somewhere?
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    I would guess yes. Unless you have taken some very strong painkillers or something today, then they could possibly be imaginary parrots. ;)
    W
    Wolfnox
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    We have wild parrots in florida. It's bizarre because l have only seen them in pet stores.
    AprilR
    I am not made for hookup culture. The way these people behave is incomprehensible to me. Wdym your feelings instantly disappeared and you started liking someone else?
    View previous comments…
    Judge
    Judge
    It's why I rejected the concept of "dating" and stuck to making good friends, when in some cases blossomed into something better over time. No rituals, subterfuge, silly games or expectations required.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    When i have feelings for someone, i can't just switch them to someone else. My feelings dont work that way. They also last a long time. So it is so strange to me how quickly people change
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    I think what's worse than the flippant one night stands, is the 'badge of honor' that a guy slept with a bunch of women. So what? If women sleep with a bunch of guys, she is considered a 'easy' catch. It's all twisted.
    AprilR
    I may have made a decision to cut off my only friend. She is flirting with the guy she was trying to set me up with.
    View previous comments…
    Judge
    Judge
    Under such circumstances this person may in fact amount to only what I'd call a "fair weather friend". An acquaintance who may be trusted only so far. Who may prove to be more of a liability than an asset to you.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I am not sure. Maybe she thinks it is okay since i ended up not liking him but it is still weird to me. Since she wanted to set him up with me
    Judge
    Judge
    Personally I think your suspicions are valid. Do others here concur? But then I have posted many times about my own limited sense of trust.
    AprilR
    Just feeling proud of myself and my achievements. With little to no help i have come a long way in my life. And the best thing is i no longer dislike myself
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    That is awesome you found happiness with yourself~
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Feeling this way was impossible for me in the past. But even things that seem impossible happen in this world. If it happened to me, it can happen to you too. So i hope everyone can feel this someday
    AprilR
    I noticed i miss my friend. I keep seeing videos on the İnternet that i want to show her but then i remember we are not talking anymore
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Is this the same friend that kept trying to set you up with guys you were not interested in?
    Judge
    Judge
    I sometimes feel such a thing when it comes to my own mother who died 17 years ago. When I want to share something and then instantly realize I can't.

    Yeah...it hurts. Though in your case I suppose there's always a possibility of reconciliation. You never know...
    AprilR
    AprilR
    @Rodafina no, it is not. This friend i mentioned was my best friend for over 15 years. She grew distant after a dispute.
    AprilR
    There is a cat in our building, apparently its owner has passed away. I petted her a little and gave her some canned food. I keep thinking of adopting her but i am not sure if it is a good idea
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I am allergic, i work full time and live in a very small space
    AprilR
    I am hoping that i will not cry at work tomorrow. I made so many mistakes. It is probably better for me to stop working for a while.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Trying not to get too emotional but i am very grateful to my employer. This was the first real job i had, and despite all the difficulties my employer was so supportive.
    AprilR
    How do i deal with guilt i don't know. I really hate myself.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    If this goes on i might make more mistakes at work and it will cost. I can't deal with self hatred and guilt any more
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Feel like vomiting all the time
    AprilR
    I messed up yet again and missed a deadline
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I want to quit, it is not working out but there is no one who can replace me
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I will admit my wrongdoing and say i am fine with whatever decision my employer makes
    AprilR
    I feel better about not wanting to get married/have a relationship after chatting with my coworker
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    My coworker however told me, that the purpose of that is to ensure future generations will grow up to be good people that uphold the religion's values. Since i have no intention to have children, and that i am trying to uphold the values and promote them, it does not matter that i dont marry.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I am not a religious person at all, but i do feel the pressure to get married and have children and i thought this pressure came from religion to be a pious person.
    Hearing my more religious friend, say those things have comforted me.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Yuck. You should decide not to get married based on your personal preference. Not on popular belief.
    AprilR
    I am trying to not trust people too much even though it makes me feel alone
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Loneliness is better than being used
    AprilR
    I am craving french fries and onion rings so much.. But my diet..
    S
    Slime_Punk
    If your diet allows for it, you could always fry up some onions and potatoes in olive oil!
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I could try that maybe, (alas i have already ordered some chicken and fries)
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Lol. Onion rings, French fries, sign me up. Lol
    AprilR
    I can't do this any more. My employer is too angry at me and i feel like the only solution is to quit before things get ugly.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Sorry. Can you schedule a exit interview, damage control? Explain that you didn't have the needed resources to effectively do your job? My attorney was in trouble for not canceling expensive medical appt that wasn't needed. But he left firm and now is a first circuit judge. Good luck , try to center yourself, and get thru this.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    He also got in trouble for letting me sit in on a deposition. Attorneys are human.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Another coworker is quitting already so i might not be able to for a while.. Yet again.
    AprilR
    I cried at the office today. My employer was very angry at me, my coworkers noticed and tried to comfort me. I just burst into tears
    View previous comments…
    Kavigant
    Kavigant
    The work environment, in which so many people get so stressed out, and in which there are so many insensitive people, can be such a mine field for ND people.
    It can be so hard to spend the day feeling buffeted by other people's reactivity.
    I hope that you are able to soothe and recharge from such a difficult day.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Thank you so much. I feel grateful for this job actually, i really learnt a lot. But no one understands how difficult it has been, and they misjudge my abilities
    Kavigant
    Kavigant
    In some ways, we ND folk live in a private world with secret challenges. That can be so hard.
    That's why I've been so thankful for this forum. The other folks here "get it" and I feel less isolated.
    AprilR
    The guy whom i thought was shy invited me to his home. I am angry at myself for even considering dating him. He is basically looking for a hookup
    AprilR
    AprilR
    And i explicitly told him i am NOT comfortable with meeting in a home environment
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Oh boy. That happens a lot l am afraid. That describes 75% of them.
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