Checking my Whatsapp chats I've realized that I have three friends that I interact with, in the present: one is a college friend that lives in the other side of the Atlantic, a virtual friend that also lives in the other side of the Atlantic, and a friend (mom of a friend of my daughter's).
Three friends. After forty-four years of existence. It could be worse, I guess, at least I have three grown ups I can talk to (besides my boyfriend).
I'm not a person that makes a big effort to maintain friendships, I must admit. For me, more often than not, friends end up invading my time and space, and start, either demanding more time of me, or telling me what to do, looking down on me, or making envious comments towards me.
For me, having female friendships is not easy (that includes my two sisters) and can easily become a burden. In the past I used to make an effort to maintain friendships, but it didn't work out. My efforts didn't translate into respect towards me, just the contrary.
Now I take it easy. If they happen, cool, if they don't it's also cool. I prefer to be alone than in a toxic relationship with anyone (which is how they turn out to be, if they don't fully accept who I am).
I'm glad I have my kids. I get along with them very well. I’m also glad that I have my boyfriend.
I'm thinking of expanding my social relationships, but not with humans. I see a cat in our near future. We do need good company.
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This aspie woman and her present friendships