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This aspie woman and her present friendships

By Sabrina · Jun 14, 2018 · ·
Checking my Whatsapp chats I've realized that I have three friends that I interact with, in the present: one is a college friend that lives in the other side of the Atlantic, a virtual friend that also lives in the other side of the Atlantic, and a friend (mom of a friend of my daughter's).

    Three friends. After forty-four years of existence. It could be worse, I guess, at least I have three grown ups I can talk to (besides my boyfriend).

    I'm not a person that makes a big effort to maintain friendships, I must admit. For me, more often than not, friends end up invading my time and space, and start, either demanding more time of me, or telling me what to do, looking down on me, or making envious comments towards me.

    For me, having female friendships is not easy (that includes my two sisters) and can easily become a burden.
In the past I used to make an effort to maintain friendships, but it didn't work out. My efforts didn't translate into respect towards me, just the contrary.

    Now I take it easy. If they happen, cool, if they don't it's also cool. I prefer to be alone than in a toxic relationship with anyone (which is how they turn out to be, if they don't fully accept who I am).

    I'm glad I have my kids. I get along with them very well. I’m also glad that I have my boyfriend.

I'm thinking of expanding my social relationships, but not with humans. I see a cat in our near future. We do need good company.

    About Author

    I've lived in eight cities in six countries in the last fifteen years; right now I live in Mexico. I am an Earthling because the world is my home.


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  1. Bronwyn
    I love with post:) Happy to be content. Im a 'chill' person if you ever want to make another friend. (btw Cosima is amazing)
      Sabrina and Cogitatio like this.
  2. Cogitatio
    Same issue. I currently have no friends I talk to. I have 3 friends but I have no spoken to them for years. Most people I meet either bore me because all they want to do is talk about trivia and nothing in-depth or challenging. When I do talk to people, I can see them glaze over as I kick off on a debate about physics or philosophy or maths. So I just don't bother any more. The good news is that I do not miss it. I am happy without friends. But I have the most wonderful dog and she never asks stupid questions or says anything dumb, always wants to be with me, cuddles up at night (she is a chihuahua). She listens to me no matter what I want to say. She is patient. I think you will be very happy with your new cat.
      Sabrina likes this.
  3. Dakota Keck
    Yeah it could be worse i don't interact with any one except for emails for work and the occasional phone call. I can't start conversations with people.
      Sabrina likes this.
  4. Dakota Keck
    Yeah it could be worse i don't interact with any one except for emails for work and the occasional phone call. I can't start conversations with people.
  5. Catalyst
    Most of my friends I talk to online, or hardly at all. I see my boyfriend once a week, and it's because he makes an effort to come see me. My friend since Jr High I rarely talk to, but when we get together it's like we were never apart. And that's okay for us. Another friend I met in college we mostly talk online over Discord. She knows I don't like to drive, and she's usually working on some project or another, so unless we make plans ahead of time, we just stick to being online with each other. And that's okay for us. I never make a big effort to maintain relationships, but most of my friends are pretty cool with that. They're happy when they see me, but okay if they don't.
      Sabrina and rainfall like this.
  6. LucyPurrs
    I've never had more friends than I can count on one hand- at least not close friends as opposed to casual friends and have found 2-3 are fine for me. But I'm willing to talk anytime you might want to. I think you'd make an interesting and fun friend (but can't vouch for myself. LOL).
      Sabrina and rainfall like this.
  7. VioletHaze_03
    I don't mean this in a rude way, it's kind of inspiring that you don't care about having friends anymore, not a lot of adults i talk to think that way. My mom constantly pressures me to do anything to make new friends (especially with boys) and it's really annoying. I wish more people could think like you instead of insulting others for their lack of friends. and also get more cats. cats are so much easier to maintain than friends :p
  8. Shamar
    Three friends in 44 years? Beats my 66 years by three.I hope you hang on to the friends you have, and acquire more. As for me, I know I can't have friends despite an intense desire for it. Good Luck in the future.
      LucyPurrs, rainfall and Sabrina like this.