The relationship with my dad was based in the exchange of knowledge, mostly him helping me out with school subjects, or him recommending me books.
It was never an equal exchange. He mostly downloaded information on me (aspie style) and I received it. I used to receive it gladly because I thought that in the future I would be able to download my information on him. It never happened and I got tired of having a relationship like that (it happened very late in life, I was 39, I think).
It was not only the downloading of information, but also of opinions. I was not only expected to be quiet and learn, I was also expected to have the same opinion as him. If it wasn’t the case, I had better shut up of expect fury.
Part of this uneven exchange was the recommendation of books. I read a lot of books that he recommended me, but he has never read a book that I have recommended (except the autobiography that I wrote). It seems a little fact, but for someone like me, who adores books, that was a big issue. Actually, it’s still a big issue.
My boyfriend is a fan of science fiction books, like my dad (I love them too, but I also read other stuff). Of course, he has a list of books the he recommended me. I like this situation because finding a grown up that likes science fiction or fantasy books has been impossible for me (except for the Harry Potter’s saga) and I’m thrilled that I can finally talk about this genre with someone other than my daughter.
But. I’m not reading any if his recommended books yet. My daughter recommended me a book, which she says it’s the best book she has ever read, so I’m reading that one first. I know that me reading that book means more for her than it would be for my boyfriend, and I’m happy that I can do something for her that my dad never did for me.
Oh, I forgot to mention that my dad sent me an email recently recommending me some books. I thanked him and kept the email, just in case one day I find myself without knowing what to read. But this time, he is not a priority. My daughter is.
It was never an equal exchange. He mostly downloaded information on me (aspie style) and I received it. I used to receive it gladly because I thought that in the future I would be able to download my information on him. It never happened and I got tired of having a relationship like that (it happened very late in life, I was 39, I think).
It was not only the downloading of information, but also of opinions. I was not only expected to be quiet and learn, I was also expected to have the same opinion as him. If it wasn’t the case, I had better shut up of expect fury.
Part of this uneven exchange was the recommendation of books. I read a lot of books that he recommended me, but he has never read a book that I have recommended (except the autobiography that I wrote). It seems a little fact, but for someone like me, who adores books, that was a big issue. Actually, it’s still a big issue.
My boyfriend is a fan of science fiction books, like my dad (I love them too, but I also read other stuff). Of course, he has a list of books the he recommended me. I like this situation because finding a grown up that likes science fiction or fantasy books has been impossible for me (except for the Harry Potter’s saga) and I’m thrilled that I can finally talk about this genre with someone other than my daughter.
But. I’m not reading any if his recommended books yet. My daughter recommended me a book, which she says it’s the best book she has ever read, so I’m reading that one first. I know that me reading that book means more for her than it would be for my boyfriend, and I’m happy that I can do something for her that my dad never did for me.
Oh, I forgot to mention that my dad sent me an email recently recommending me some books. I thanked him and kept the email, just in case one day I find myself without knowing what to read. But this time, he is not a priority. My daughter is.
