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Social phobia dating

This is a topic I find myself on and off with, trying to figure out if and how it can be done, first let me quickly explain for those of you who are new to my blogs.
I have severe social phobia to a point I've been classed as disabled and everything - I can't socialise well without support nor can I go outside unless someone I'm familiar with is with me etc, my entire life has mostly been indoors and it's been very hard overall, obviously autism plays into this all too and makes things a little more of a challenge, but the social phobia has always been the main thing I struggle with.

The thing is I don't know if it's okay to try dating or not, I feel very silly with the struggling to go outside stuff and I worry that I'm only going to disappoint people by trying, I am one of those guys who ends up in the mindset of "oh but they might find someone better" and I've let a lot of people slip by without even trying because I don't want to put this issue on anyone else, at the same time I've been letting this mindset happen for 10+ years now, and have not been in a relationship at all since my last which was a long time ago, I've only ever been in one real relationship and I explained this issue to them at first and they were okay with it for a few years, but later on it became an issue and they left (I think they expected me to change over time)

My question to anyone else reading this would be, if you knew someone who struggled to go outside as easily like myself, or had very very bad anxiety each time and stuff and things would be limited and you cannot change the person, would you still be willing to try with that person?
I've held myself back for so many years without ever trying with anyone because I am scared no one would accept me this way even if I did try, and going out and socialising seems to be the norm everywhere and I am very different in that I enjoy staying at home more than going out.

Comments

I think you should be able to be yourself. But if you feel like you are restricted by experiencing social anxiety (I have it too, I think everyone does, more or less) you should try to push yourself into doing small steps of what scares you
Maybe you can find a person online, who also has experienced social anxiety so that they know what it is all about?
Maybe it is your time to choose someone who you want to have in your life, not the other way around

Everyone is so different from the other, but life truly is something beautiful if we let it
If I want to have a cozy night infront of the tv with some chips or soda or whatever, I have to go to the store to get it, even if it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't have to talk to anyone, I can be totally private and move in a fast pace through the store, but at home with my movie and goodies, I can relax again, this is my safe spot.

Maybe relationships are the same way, supposed to be a safe spot in our life. I think we always have to give eachother space, so if your partner wants to go see a movie and you think that it is uncomfortable, you might still challange yourself and go see that movie, but explain the way you are and what she or he can expect?

I think that in time, it gets easier to go meet other people
A relationship builds you up in a way, might make it easier to believe in one self

Don't stop believing
 

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Author
Aru
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2 min read
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