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Livestreaming helped me

Hey all! Hope everyone is doing well today.

I started live streaming a long long time ago, and when I started I almost never talked at all through the mic because this was the first time I had ever socialised properly, all socialising I had done in life up to that point had ended in tears, I was bullied, threatened and nobody liked me because I was so quiet, I just wasn't 'fun' enough to be around, I grew up so alone and with nobody around except my family.
I wasn't diagnosed at the time either, so I had no idea why people treated me differently, or why I was so different to everyone else, social situations were always so awkward and people just saw me as a freak and called me a brat because I wouldn't eat the right foods and I was scared of social situations and all sorts, I bullied myself for years thinking that I was born 'broken' and that I will never fit into anything because of the way I am, life became very dark for a long time.

I, like a lot of people, started to use the internet to escape and distract and I started to build a life online, one of those things over time was livestreaming, the idea always interested me, I think I grew on the idea because of the negative experiences I had growing up, I wanted to.. get people to notice me and like me but in a way that I could do it without the face to face struggles, and I struggled at first so so much because I had no confidence at all, my self esteem was blown to bits with all the comments from my bullies telling me how worthless I was and how they were going to hurt me and everything, due to the zero confidence I had a start and stop routine for a long time and it took me years and years of practise talking over a microphone and restarting live stream channels over and over as I kept giving up, I eventually reached a point where I was talking 'okay' and a few people started to hang around, keep in mind this took like 10-15 years to get to this point, I had to build myself up from the very bottom, so over time a few people started to stay and express interest in me, and I just cried lots behind the scenes, finally someone was taking an interest in me, this was the first time people had ever expressed proper interest in me as a person and I opened this flood gate and just broke down because I was happy, I've always had my family and they've always been supportive, but having someone outside of family finally show me some acknowledgment was something I needed, and since then I've met a lot of people and have made an amazing group of friends and I continue to stream to this day because of how much it's done for me and continues to do, I am still a very very small streamer with only a very select few who watch, but honestly the fact that even one person takes the time to watch me is enough.

Doing this all has opened many other doors since then, and I managed to start socialising in parts here and there which I didn't have before and have made some friends for life.
Please keep in mind that all is this is specific to me personally, but I just wanted to share some nice things about internet life, I feel quite glad to be living in an age where the internet is a thing and there are ways to talk to others online and such when you may struggle face to face.

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Author
Aru
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3 min read
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232
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