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May 5th 2025

Another early post

My day just barely started and I am already writing about it? ... Not really

In my introduction I called myself a "Muxe" and that was wrong, I was appropriating culture from an indigenous group I'm not a part of and I should not have done so.

I guess I am just looking for a way to express my gender because I'm somewhere in the middle of a man and a woman.

I can't call myself "transgender woman" because I don't live my life a cis woman because I am not one (please don't get into arguments about this, I am talking about MYSELF and not in a general sense)

I know I don't want to identify myself as a "man" because I've never felt like one and deep, deep inside of my heart I know I was never meant to be one.

But... What am I then? I sit somewhere in the middle of both genders with my feminine ways and my changing body...

It's complicated, it is... Because like, I said, I PERSONALLY don't want to put on shoes that don't fit me

I can't fit in the female gender completely because of the gender I was born in, I can't be a woman because I'm not one.

I can't fit in the male gender completely because I never felt like a male, I really like expressing my feminine side and it feels quite natural to me.

Then, what is left? A middle ground between the two I am exploring and failing to express in a healthy way that will feel right for me and my preferred way of living MY life.

Guess I'm just Sofi and that's it... Even if it doesn't say much it feels like who I am... Just another human in this world that decided to chase happiness being authentic to herself...

Still...

Can't help but wonder about what I am... Not a woman, not a man.... Just Sofía, I guess...

Noon update:

Was thinking a lot today if wether I should restart my playthrough project and do them in English this time

Was wondering if I should delete all my already updated videos and restart in English but decided not to, something in my heart told me not to and continue uploading/streaming in Spanish

Discovered this very amazing video I've been listening to and loving every single second of:


It has a lot of music I didn't know existed or have ever heard of and it's good, I was not aware that there were so many amazing bands playing such good music in my country... Sometimes I forget that every place has very amazing musicians and I tend to look I foreign countries...

Anyway, so far so good

Still wondering about my gender identity, but not too worried about my streaming in Spanish

Whatever happens will happen, right? 😺

Comments

Do whatever is comfy for you. I landed on identifying as genderfluid, namely because I switch frequently between being masculine and feminine. I tend to be more feminine than masculine alot of the time, though.

Though there is Agender. Though I think that means you don't identify as male or female in general. Not sure if that would fit.
 
I am looking for what's comfortable for me @Xinyta

I think this process of transitioning has opened a lot of questions within me... Like... More like a person wandering in a forest of things that are very new and emotions that never knew they had

Its nice and confusing...
 
I think you'll find your answers as you move along. There are some that like being in between a male and female, and not doing the full transition. But each person is different.
 

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Author
IXxTchxXI
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2 min read
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