I want to start this post positively because lately I've been a bit negative, but the circumstances have been negative in my personal life and its seeping into my brain and actions but well, POSITIVE TIME
I saw a small flock of house finches out my window hanging out in the weeping mulberry tree and eating mulberries!
The males are red and grayish brown and the females are all grayish brown, they're very pretty
I was very, very lucky to see two lesser goldfinches as well! They're black and yellow and super pretty and I don't think it's fair to call them "lesser" because they're so pretty
I also saw a desert dove, those birds you can't differentiate from female and male because they're... Uh... Some fancy biology name
I also like them although there's a LOT of them because they're gray and white
Oh and I saw a white-crowned sparrow, the male has a pretty black and white head and brown and beige bodies... I think its beige... I don't know colors that well
Couldn't help but think about how cool it is that the contrast of colors in birds feathers always is good and well picked
Isn't nature amazing and wise?
I OBVIOUSLY had to Google the name of the birds because I don't know anything about birds but wouldn't mind learning, my brain always likes learning things like that!
I was also thinking about what gigi1919 wrote about anger (I don't like tagging people unnecessarily)
Makes a lot of sense because I am working on feeling all my feelings freely, we are MEANT to feel our feelings after all and not shun them or mask them.
It's ok to be angry but I wish I could get angry in a healthy manner and not explode like I do
Everything, or most anything in life needs balance in my humble opinion and I usually feel my feelings so intensely that things get scary at times...
HOWEVER I have stopped certain ugly behaviours when I get angry but I can't seem to control the intensity of most of it
Happens the same when I get sad, I don't get sad I get a very bad depression that makes me not eat and other stuff that I won't discuss because it's very dark and I don't know how much I can write here without getting in trouble.
I like it when I'm happy tho, because it's a very nice happiness
But, like I said, i want to learn to feel all my emotions in a healthy way and not in such a intense way
Been thinking about my past too ... About how I don't know how to forgive myself because I keep remembering things I did and I want to let go
I want to let go of what I can and be at peace
I've lived a tormented and dark life and I want to live a life under the light of happiness without shunning sadness or anger or stress or anxiety
But I want to live with them in a healthy and balanced way
I keep forgetting
"It's a process, not a race"
I want to run and not be patient because I'm old and feel like my time is running out...
I saw a small flock of house finches out my window hanging out in the weeping mulberry tree and eating mulberries!
The males are red and grayish brown and the females are all grayish brown, they're very pretty
I was very, very lucky to see two lesser goldfinches as well! They're black and yellow and super pretty and I don't think it's fair to call them "lesser" because they're so pretty
I also saw a desert dove, those birds you can't differentiate from female and male because they're... Uh... Some fancy biology name
I also like them although there's a LOT of them because they're gray and white
Oh and I saw a white-crowned sparrow, the male has a pretty black and white head and brown and beige bodies... I think its beige... I don't know colors that well
Couldn't help but think about how cool it is that the contrast of colors in birds feathers always is good and well picked
Isn't nature amazing and wise?
I OBVIOUSLY had to Google the name of the birds because I don't know anything about birds but wouldn't mind learning, my brain always likes learning things like that!
I was also thinking about what gigi1919 wrote about anger (I don't like tagging people unnecessarily)
Makes a lot of sense because I am working on feeling all my feelings freely, we are MEANT to feel our feelings after all and not shun them or mask them.
It's ok to be angry but I wish I could get angry in a healthy manner and not explode like I do
Everything, or most anything in life needs balance in my humble opinion and I usually feel my feelings so intensely that things get scary at times...
HOWEVER I have stopped certain ugly behaviours when I get angry but I can't seem to control the intensity of most of it
Happens the same when I get sad, I don't get sad I get a very bad depression that makes me not eat and other stuff that I won't discuss because it's very dark and I don't know how much I can write here without getting in trouble.
I like it when I'm happy tho, because it's a very nice happiness
But, like I said, i want to learn to feel all my emotions in a healthy way and not in such a intense way
Been thinking about my past too ... About how I don't know how to forgive myself because I keep remembering things I did and I want to let go
I want to let go of what I can and be at peace
I've lived a tormented and dark life and I want to live a life under the light of happiness without shunning sadness or anger or stress or anxiety
But I want to live with them in a healthy and balanced way
I keep forgetting
"It's a process, not a race"
I want to run and not be patient because I'm old and feel like my time is running out...
