Maybe I should write these a bit later in the night but they don't fit in with my daily routine that I've changed a bit and it caused me some not good things to happen.
It's weird
Every time I change one little thing in my routine my brain goes into panic mode and gets depressed...
Anyway
I decided to go on and change my streaming language to English and see what happens... I thought about it and it seems that I should take advantage of my bilingualism to reach more people...
Will it work? I don't know and that has me worried (it shouldn't because whatever happens, happens and one can't control much in ones life)
Another thing that happened to me is the realization that I want to close my past wounds, I want to leave the past in the past and be happy
I've realized that only focusing on my past events that weren't that good and won't go into detail because I'm trying to heal from them has drained me of happiness and has only made me complain, and complain, and complain about what already transpired
I want to learn to say "screw it" and close those wounds, not pick at the scab and let them bleed again.
Finally after much thought I've also realized that I'm a demigal or demidudette or demiwoman and I feel comfortable with that gender identity
Now, the road ahead seems scary and uncertain, seems like I need to put in a lot of work to heal and move forward
But I'm guessing it'll be worth it... All's I have to do is take the first step and start walking instead of looking for excuses to not do so
I really hope I make it, I really do
I want to be happy and peaceful closing the wounds in my heart and helps me move forward with my life
Edit:
I feel like I did a very bad decision...
Nervous, worried... Oh boy
It's weird
Every time I change one little thing in my routine my brain goes into panic mode and gets depressed...
Anyway
I decided to go on and change my streaming language to English and see what happens... I thought about it and it seems that I should take advantage of my bilingualism to reach more people...
Will it work? I don't know and that has me worried (it shouldn't because whatever happens, happens and one can't control much in ones life)
Another thing that happened to me is the realization that I want to close my past wounds, I want to leave the past in the past and be happy
I've realized that only focusing on my past events that weren't that good and won't go into detail because I'm trying to heal from them has drained me of happiness and has only made me complain, and complain, and complain about what already transpired
I want to learn to say "screw it" and close those wounds, not pick at the scab and let them bleed again.
Finally after much thought I've also realized that I'm a demigal or demidudette or demiwoman and I feel comfortable with that gender identity
Now, the road ahead seems scary and uncertain, seems like I need to put in a lot of work to heal and move forward
But I'm guessing it'll be worth it... All's I have to do is take the first step and start walking instead of looking for excuses to not do so
I really hope I make it, I really do
I want to be happy and peaceful closing the wounds in my heart and helps me move forward with my life
Edit:
I feel like I did a very bad decision...
Nervous, worried... Oh boy
