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Trending blog entries
I think of suicide as a sin but sometimes i cannot help but feel like it would be good if i get sick with a terminal illness and die soon.
I sometimes feel all alone in the Earth, no mother and father who is there for me. No friends who see the real me and support me.
My therapist did not put up...
Sometimes i am too present in my body, and the anxiety overwhelms me. Other times, mostly at night i reminisce about old times, and the few people who made me feel alive. I am thankful to those people who are not in my life anymore. When i remember them my life feels like a dream, or like it is...
Today i had an interview for the second time since i started my job hunt. As opposed to my previous experience, this time the employer was very kind, respectful and all around seemed like a very nice person to be around. She also did not seem to find my salary expectations too much. I still have...
Touch- Sight=
People vibrate as colors. It’s like an aura but I feel it instead of see it. Each nationality vibrates as a different color than their skin tone. Native Americans vibrate as yellow variations even though their skin is red. Black people vibrate as red variations even though their...
TABLE OF SYNESTHESIA TYPES (by combinations of senses)
Basically, synesthesia is the combining of two senses out of the five. There are ten types as follows:
1. Touch-Sight=Feeling touch when watching fights. Feeling people as colors.
2. Touch-Sound=Feeling sounds on skin/ dancing in shapes to...
I can honestly say that my childhood has been horrible. Trying to live all alone without anyone to depend on was horrible.
Parenting your own parents, along with yourself and being their marriage counselor was horrible.
Being all alone with my problems and suicidal thoughts was horrible...
I decided to watch church online. I kept shutting down during the service and it was all I could do to stare straight at the pastor and hold onto my seat. You see, there were too many kinds of hands giving me handshakes, too many different smells when I got hugged, and boy was it loud during the...
Nowadays i am feeling calm and accepting of what fate has in store with me. I still have the fear of suicide deep inside me but even that does not make me anxious. I will try to endure what life will bring me and i pray it won't be too painful.
What i want to stop doing is making extra effort...
I went to a concert yesterday. It was a band from my childhood, that i disliked in the past bc it reminded me of my childhood years.
Somehow, i actually liked one of the songs. I was listening to it today, again.
Today reading about the love between the solist and his girlfriend. The song he...
Every December is hard for me. December has passed, yet this winter I haven't had the time to sit with my thoughts and feel the things I need to in order to get through my usual aches. It's not a seasonal depression in the traditional sense. It indeed is depressing- and is indeed very seasonal...
Do any of you have ideas for my soundtrack to my latest idea 'Blankets & Stars'? In this piece of fanfiction, by the way, Lady Penelope and I spend time in the room we share while everyone else parties wildly in the living room - and by everyone else, I meant other characters from Thunderbirds...
I've been off my anxiety meds a few days. I've noticed that my leveled out stress and anxiety haven't changed, since being off.
Either that means the meds helped alot. Or it was all a delusion, and the meds helped in the form of a placebo effect.
If my whole thing with intense stress and...
Yesterday I had a chat with the woman who I'd made/drawn a Christmas card for. It's the only one I've given in years; because its not a tradition I see much point in. All that paper, cardboard, printing inks, and trucks involved in making and distributing the cards. Then all of the trucks, vans...
PANEL 1:
INT. CREIGHTON WARD MANSION - LADY PENELOPE'S BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Lady Penelope is breathing because she is in labour and she's giving birth to her new baby. Parker is desperately trying to help her. She is screaming and groaning in pain.
LADY PENELOPE
NNNNNRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH...
Lady Penelope and I were on Summer vacation. It was the warmest time of the year to be out and about on the beach. The sand was golden and the sea was a bright blue. We were both lounging on deckchairs in the shade of a palm tree, drinking meltingly cold cherry cocktails and chatting about how...