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Scary world-uglinessAlone By Edgar Allan Poe From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were—I have not seen As others saw—I could not bring My passions from a...- blue_bird
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Unreachable placeI know I'm months late to this, but I just saw your entry here. This is exactly why I have 一期一会 as my title here. It's a Japanese phrase that has...- Grondhammar
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Not deserving things - complicated feelingsI know what you mean about not wanting to bring others down. Hiding all that stuff is something I’ve done all my life. It seems impossible for me...- WhitewaterWoman
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The world was empty for her. No matter where she looked, there was nothing for the things inside her. She kept on working, studying, changing her shape to adapt and surviving. And sometimes something good came to her, and went. But she somehow knew the things and people that came were not there...
Yesterday was an extremely bizarre, spontaneous and unorganized day. These days I am looking a lot into videos of people saving elephants. I am also vegan and can say without sounding hypocritical that I love animals a lot, so I guess all these came to a point of me waking up from a dream where...
Gym session went well. Given how sore my muscles were, I'm surprised that I could do 3 sets of 10 reps on all but 1 exercise - where i managed 9, then 8 then 5. But i wasn't going to be silly about it. If the muscle had nothing left to give for that exercise, I'm going to listen to my body.
I...
This muscle soreness is going to make today's first solo gym session a case of mind over matter.
I emailed my PT yesterday and he kindly uploaded an 8 exercise - 1 hour routine. I'll then finish up with some swimming and then some meditation in the sauna.
The first month will have my body...
I give an offering of some of my water each time I visit the old oak tree. Respect your elders. I thank it for peace and strength. Hippie alert.
My guide has prompted me to purchase some instruments for my upcoming meditations and trance. In recent days I've learned that my guide was from the...
Waiting and worthiness are the 2 big lessons my next relationship will teach me.
I'm happy to say that I've improved with waiting; as it's destroyed me with anxiety in the past. Being away from a person triggered separation anxiety, and waiting for them to respond online - the longer the wait...
This week I'm pet sitting for the daughter of my mom's friend. She's about 10 years older than me, so her life is pretty well-established. I'm technically allergic to cats and dogs, of which she has both, but not enough where that would stop me from being around them. So, I get to stay in a cute...
I love art.
Sometimes, when I'm listening to music, I suddenly get a very vivid visual in my head about what a music video or movie for that song would look like, and get lost in it. I love when that happens. But, I don't think I'd ever find success in making movies. Plus, that's already what my...
Today I drove a service user and their family to the Motorhome & Caravan show at the NEC in Birmingham. It was a lovely day out - and I enjoyed the driving. We also went to numerous places yesterday as well.
It's presented all sorts of unique challenges, and after my shift has finished I've...
I am without many words lately. Confused once more about how to continue. I have answers to my own behaviors. Yet I am lost to what is next.
I can focus. Yet I still have issues with it, which remains to confuse me. I know, yet the desire to try isn't always there. Making me question why? Why...
Good things come to those who wait.
I hope this is true. I hope when my life ends i dont feel scared or sad. I want to feel salvation from this life's pain and worries
I honestly feel like i am not fit for any kind of relationship or even friendship. I don't have much in common with people i come across with, and when i get attached i idealize that person so much i don't even notice when i am treated unfairly. And when the person don't share what they feel and...
The second medium circle last Wednesday was nice. A few less than the previous week, but a nice energy. We did another guided meditation along with drawing 2 cards from 2 different tarot.
From the Medicine Cards I got 43 (my lucky number) and the animal was a spider. What it spoke of was...
Received a nomination for employee of the month where I work. Whilst I didn't win, I did receive an email congratulating me. It included the message from whoever recommended me. They wrote some lovely things, and it was very uplifting to read.
My gut knew a few weeks ago that I'd get a...
I feel my mindset is now on a far better path, than it was. Things do not stress me like they use to. The fears, delusions, hallucinations, and paranoia are about fully gone.
Though I think what helped spur this extra push on my journey, is the fact that I put an extra effort into limiting...
I feel like i am just deluding myself that i am a worthy person whatever. If my mom did know my dad was aspergers she probably would not even marry him. She prob. Did it out of pity anyway. I should not have existed. Maybe even my faith is just bc i am scared of going to hell if i commit...
Had my first meeting at the circle to begin training as a medium. Friends have joked that it sounded like a cult. The reality is it's a medium leading a group of spiritual people on a path to develop their abilities in a safe and practical way.
The people I met were lovely. It was fascinating...
This one's number fifty,
I've reach half century.
Mouthing off right shifty,
No plenipotentiary.
But worry not ye readers,
I won't be stopping here.
There's plenty more to rant of,
You need have no fear.
I wonder if I'll reach,
One hundred 'fore I snuff it.
I'll need new subject matter,
To...
I have thought I can be rational, and I find I can be alot. But maybe late nights don't help. I feel a sense of wanting to be agressive or passive agressive in posts when I feel like my posts are being ripped apart.
Though the reality is that perception is a lie. No one is really doing that...