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Would you date someone with kids?

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Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I would, but I'd be hesitant to date a woman who had kids with various men as the probability of our relationship going down the drain would be high.

I wouldn't want to get into a relationship if it would be unstable; I crave stability. If she'd already had kids with more than one man, there's no way I'd get into a relationship with them. I know a woman who's in her early thirties who already has kids from three or four different men. She's been married to a guy for the past few years, but she cheats on him; she tells my sister about it.

So yeah - definitely not a good idea IMO.

Had kids from one guy? That's fine. Had kids from two guys? I'm gonna start being wary. Had kids from three guys? There's no chance in hell I'll date you.
 
This possibility has never occurred to me, but at the rate I am going (that is, failing to find romance as the years go by) it will become more likely for people in my age group.

My answer: maybe. I can see myself becoming besotted with somebody and not minding that they have kids from a previous relationship.
 
Yes I would date someone with kids but probably not someone who is going through a drama with their ex or separated spouse. I remember my last ex and his drama about his ex and how he had to spend his money to pick his kid up and bringing him back and his kid lived about ten hours away. I see nothing wrong with anyone doing that but he couldn't afford it so it was another reason why he struggled with money. Also the fact he was spending his money on a lawyer borrowing from his grandparents and he couldn't even afford to care for his child, period and he was trying to get full custody of him. Sure it may bring him food stamps and maybe other assistance but still. What about Christmas shopping and Birthdays? What about school activities. Sure he also be getting child support too and that was his plan of how he would afford it.

So my point is I wouldn't want to date someone like this because then we end up with money problems and blowing out our budget to get custody over his kids because that is how much the guy cared about than bills. Then it would lead me to having more anxiety and being depressed and I be prone to more meltdowns because of money.
 
I used to pretty much hate kids, and did not want to date anyone with a child from a previous relationship. Now that the tables are turned, and I am a single parent my views have slightly changed. I am still wary of people that have kids, but am not resistant. I know I should not care, but once feelings with an ex and kids are invovled its hard to deal. I wouldn't say I am lucky that my son's father has never been there, but it is easier than dealing with the drama that goes along with it. So I suppose I still have mixed feelings on the subject.
 
only if their kids liked me, i would not feel right dating a guy who's kids did not like me even if the guy really liked me himself and if i had feelings for him also
 
No. I'd want to start a family from scratch. Being a legal guardian of a child would require them to be related to me by blood. At least at this point in my life.
 
I personally wouldn't (date a guy with kids).

I don't want kids (especially at this point), but if I did, I'd really want them to be my own. There are so many factors at play with kids- which includes financial, lifestyle/responsibility, the mother, and of course the age/demeanor of the child. I really require some peace and stability, which is difficult to imagine if you're taking on an entirely new family and life. If it ends up not effecting me because he isn't involved, I would massively question that.

I'm reaching an age where that is more normal, however, and less instantly questionable. I suppose if I were to start dating later in life for whatever reason, my priorities about that would loosen up a bit. Wouldn't be my preference, though, by any means...but I suppose then it would depend on the situation.
 
I did not know of my AS until say 1999 so all those years me was unaware I did date woman without kids and those with kids too.

The cool thing is that already say 1970 a kid told her Mom that that guy had "complex" so them are receptive that some grown up are different. and that did happen a few times. Kids to the woman I dated would ask. Why are you so different. Is it something you chose or are you born that way? Them say 5 to 9 or something. Being naturally curious only.

I should have listen to such signs then but I just shake my shoulders and let it go instead of looking at it deeply. Them did see that I was very different. I was totally blind to me being that different.
 
If that someone with kids happens to be a superstar, and I'm some backup dancer - to be honest, yes, I'll still date with her, to take her kids - and money.

If you're born poor, only gifted enough to dance, then just strive for the better things in life! There's nothing else to care about, once you're poor, you'll have the poor imagery in your life
 
ruennsheng said:
If that someone with kids happens to be a superstar, and I'm some backup dancer - to be honest, yes, I'll still date with her, to take her kids - and money.

If you're born poor, only gifted enough to dance, then just strive for the better things in life! There's nothing else to care about, once you're poor, you'll have the poor imagery in your life
Click to expand...

Was that a Britney Spears reference? lol
 
I wouldn't. I don't want kids myself, because I just don't see the fun in putting yourself in a position where you have more responsibilities.

I'm seeing it more and more, that a lot of people, especially on the dating circuit have kids... and that leaves me to wonder; oh great, a single mom. What does she need a guy for? Besides love. Probably financial back-up. And seeing that I don't intend to be that person even if she didn't have kids, she'll pull the short straw eventually.
 
I have, years ago. It was an interesting experience, not bad. I learned a lot.

But, personally, I do not have kids nor do I want to have any.
 
I've always thought this as gender issue. Single mothers are usually seen as some sort of sluts without any kind of ability of self control. People don't imply that much that also single men have had their kid with someone, probably by having sex. But used up man isn't likely to be near as bad as used up woman. Isn't that cool.

And to confirm that, I say I would date single parent, assuming I'd date. I don't care for kids myself, but I've always thought it that way: as the other now has kid already, it wouldn't be necessity for me to get one for them. Although as I'd never start acting like a mother for other person's kids, I think that wouldn't work after all if those were considerably young. Maybe?
 
From watching another couple, I think that both sides have to sooner or later go "all in" with the relationship, and fully include the kids in the deal.
A single parent with children is fundamentally attached to them. They are a non optional central part of their life. So the person coming into their lives has to completely accept them all, and on the flipside the parent can't forever live a split life that has kids on one side and a lover on the other.

It's a big deal. A very big emotional commitment by everyone.
 
Absolutely! I love kids, and I think it's sweet if there is a guy who is single and raising kids - don't know why, but I think that is very sexy for a guy.
 
I would. I believe it is a good attribute in a woman if she's caring. I love kids too.
Also I think it would be nice that I could perhaps contribute to the lives of her kids.
I am 22 years old if that matters.
 
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