Would you date someone with kids?

[Loomis]

I married a woman with a seven year old son when I was thirty-nine. It worked out fine and I got along well with my stepson. I am in the process of divorce now after 23 years of marriage and I can say I would not now marry a woman with children under 18. It is just a matter of my age. I raised my stepson and my son who is now 17. I am on social security and it does not make sense for me to start another family.

 

[Sparticus]

In the past I've dated women with kids & my ex-wife had a child before I met her. However today I'm more highly selective in choosing a prospective partner. The woman would need to have a personality that meshes well with mine.
But this is an emotional issue for me for certain reasons.

It's normal per online/offline dating for both genders to have a mental list of pros and cons per a prospective partner.

 

[Neat Hedgehog]

I'm going to try not to be insulting here, but I'm sure I will come off a little strange. Anyway...

When I had little or nothing going on, a crummy job, no chance of going back to school, all my writing and programming projects stalled because of my crummy job, I didn't mind as much the idea of being involved with someone with kids, even though I dislike kids. Now that I have things back together and I have goals again, I wouldn't want to bring it all to a halt again (or at least slow it way down) for an expensive investment that may or may not pay off in twenty years (give or take).

So, yeah, short answer, I'm still way too selfish to want to have to deal with anything like that. Seeing as how I've discovered I really dislike dating / relationship stuff in general (I really only tried it to make my friend(s) shut up and stop annoying me), it's fortunately a moot point.

 

[dwc780]

Given my absolute and final "NO KIDS" policy... no, I don't think I ever would. I am adamant about never having children, hell I plan on getting a vasectomy within the next two years... just not in the cards for me.

 

[pacman]

Right now, absolutely not because I am incredibly busy with school.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Given how much I have loved certain children that I cared for who were not biologically mine...kids would be great.
Finding a guy I would like enough to date might be more of a problem.

 

[Geordie]

Yes, why not? That is, if I have the money.

A lady with a few kids would be awesome if I were rich and single. We would get to live in a big house where our home can be a little society within itself.

 

[Alabamaguy57]

I tend to avoid that too. I never even tried to date until a few years ago. Single moms don't have much time for privacy, romance and intimacy which is what I really want. I've been dating a woman with a 14 yr old adopted son and not sure if that is going to work or not. At least there are no exes involved. I prefer women that never had and don't want kids. Women with grown kids are OK, but often times they wind up raising or keeping grandkids part time or full time.

 

[Ehmagerd]

I'm certainly not interested in helping to raise another man's children. Espiecally as I'm still young and hoping to have some of my own.

 

[Ereth]

Being with a person who already has kids doesn't mean you're barred from adding your own to the family.

To answer the thread's question: no, I'm not at all opposed to dating someone with children.

 

[Christy]

For me it depends on the age of the kids. If they are a little older (in their early teens or more), then yes, I would consider it.

Young kids, then no.

 

[Ehmagerd]

Being with a person who already has kids doesn't mean you're barred from adding your own to the family.

It does cause a strain on resources and lowered capacity/care my own would recieve if I wanted any children with the female.

None of the single mothers my age are making much money or caring for their kids properly. Many are un-employed and poorly educated. Often on government money. And they look terrible for having a toddler or two and having already broken up with the father. Lol it's not hard to understand why most men stay the f away from that.

 

[Ereth]

Yes, additional resources would be required to provide for a larger family, but that's common sense. I find your stereotypical characterization of single mothers to be inaccurate (not every single parent is on welfare or lacking in education), and you certainly don't need to comment on appearances. At the very least, it wouldn't hurt to use a little more tact.

 

[Ehmagerd]

I feel when I'm misinterpreted it is a waste of time. Try to read what I say, and only it.

I find your stereotypical characterization of single mothers to be inaccurate (not every single parent is on welfare or lacking in education)

I never said they were. I said many, often. Those terms are concession that I don't disagree some are not on welfare.

you certainly don't need to comment on appearances

No one needs to do or say anything. I don't know how to interpret what you have said? Please only say things that actually have meaning. I commented on their leaving the father after a small amount of time because it is relevant.

 

[Ereth]

You can tell me I've misinterpreted you without saying my post is meaningless. Thank you very much.

 

[Sparticus]

With older children, yes. Not with younger children. Been fighting 15 years to enforce my Constitutional Right to be a Parent. I was a stepfather and father. Can't do the young children thing no more. Too many painful memories with the ex-wife & CORRUPT "family" Court system. Good luck young men. You can get the heart attacks; not me...

I would, but I'd be hesitant to date a woman who had kids with various men as the probability of our relationship going down the drain would be high.

I wouldn't want to get into a relationship if it would be unstable; I crave stability. If she'd already had kids with more than one man, there's no way I'd get into a relationship with them. I know a woman who's in her early thirties who already has kids from three or four different men. She's been married to a guy for the past few years, but she cheats on him; she tells my sister about it.

So yeah - definitely not a good idea IMO.

Had kids from one guy? That's fine. Had kids from two guys? I'm gonna start being wary. Had kids from three guys? There's no chance in hell I'll date you.

 

[Sparticus]

You should meet my ex-wife. Your opinion on responsible men would greatly change

Given how much I have loved certain children that I cared for who were not biologically mine...kids would be great.
Finding a guy I would like enough to date might be more of a problem.

 

[Judge]

Looking back, most of the women I had relationships with had children of various ages. I felt grateful enough just to find someone who wanted to have a relationship with me. I never had such "conditions" tied to the process. And yet I'm still alone after all these years. I wish I had the answer to such things...

 

[Alabamaguy57]

Looking back, most of the women I had relationships with had children of various ages. I felt grateful enough just to find someone who wanted to have a relationship with me. I never had such "conditions" tied to the process. And yet I'm still alone after all these years. I wish I had the answer to such things...

It's not that hard to find women without kids. I've met several over the past few years. Most dating sites have an advanced search where you can eliminate anyone with kids (or kids still at home). It's even harder for me because I have to weed out the smokers and drinkers too.

 

[Judge]

It's not that hard to find women without kids. I've met several over the past few years. Most dating sites have an advanced search where you can eliminate anyone with kids (or kids still at home). It's even harder for me because I have to weed out the smokers and drinkers too.

I can't honestly say I was ever "looking" for women without kids. I was just looking for chemistry...which I'd often think I found only to discover it wasn't the case. Kids were never part of the equation, one way or another for me.