What do you want for your birthday?

[DogwoodTree]

Okay, kind of the same topic as the "center of attention" thread...

I don't like being the center of attention, either. It's my birthday today, and on the one hand I really wish certain people would just pretend I don't exist. (My dad keeps calling, and I have absolutely zero desire to talk to him.) I don't want a party. I don't want gifts that show how little people actually know about my interests and values (my failure for not sharing that information). I don't want phone calls. Text is okay if I don't have to respond. Facebook is the same way, because I don't have to respond to the posts, just "like" them.

But I don't know what I actually do want. All of the attention just reminds me of how difficult it is for me to "receive love". I don't trust people's feelings for me (except DH and my kids). I don't want attention...but I don't want to be ignored, either. What in the world am I actually wanting, then??

Every time I go through this cycle, I come to the conclusion...I want love, but I can't let it in, so I have to live just "knowing" I'm loved and very very rarely ever feeling it. It's not something wrong with other people. It's something wrong with me. So I have to live with it. There is no solution.

And that's very depressing and lonely and painful.

It's like I'm allergic to love. If you're allergic to food...you need food...and you want it...but if you eat it, it makes you sick.

What works for you? What do you want for your birthday that you actually enjoy it?

I'm seriously considering curling up with my computer and binging on TNG re-runs tonight. Star Trek is so much simpler than real life.

 

[wyverary]

Whoa, it's my birthday too! I celebrated by realizing just how groggy my medication makes me—I'm testing the waters now, and it could mean I need 12+ hours of sleep every night—which resulted in my mom having to leave work so she could take me to my therapy appointment. We had a lovely lunch afterwards in which I learned that it was my birthday...yes, I'd forgotten about it. and my dad gave me a bag of chocolates. I'm all curled up on my bed listening to laid-back Indie music. Ra ra ra!

 

[artfull dodger]

I want a second RC10 remote control car. I have my original one from when I was a child but it is restored and is mostly for display. I want to do up a second one, with a body painted in the rainbow colors to honor and bring awareness of autism when I race it. Attending the races will also help me improve my socializing skills and hopefully make some new friends, both of which I struggle with greatly. I just can bring myself to race my original car, I would be devastated if I wrecked that one, probably end up in a total shutdown. I can deal with fixing a spare car. I have a better chance of it being a Christmas present, as my b-day isn't till next March Mikie

 

[Ereth]

Well, there are quite a few things I have in mind, and some of them aren't easily achievable. But something definitely possible? Well, that's easy: I want to visit my boyfriend.

 

[Judge]

No more birthdays would be nice...

 

[Rocco]

Dogwood, TNG!!!
I try to include people in My special interests on my birthday. I don't like all the attention, but I like some of it. I could do without the song and clapping, but it is nice to be celebrated. You have earned it, enjoy it.






As gifts, I would want...
Lots of extra cold Dr Pepper,
Lots of alone time,
Some new painting supplies,
Uncirculated Gem BU Jefferson nickels,
A hotel stay in Pismo California.

And Deanna Troi as my therapist

 

[Ereth]

No more birthdays would be nice...

Careful! That can be interpreted in more than one way.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I'm odd in that i never know what i want for my birthday. I never have anything specific either. I just had my birthday, so i'll just jump straight into christmas. I already know what i want for christmas - its not even a present, i just want to buy myself christmas village items so i can have a little christmas village. Last year i asked for sweaters, winter clothes, boots, and a winter coat cause i needed all of it.

 

[gregmcph]

I want a second RC10 remote control car. I have my original one from when I was a child but it is restored and is mostly for display. I want to do up a second one, with a body painted in the rainbow colors to honor and bring awareness of autism when I race it. Attending the races will also help me improve my socializing skills and hopefully make some new friends, both of which I struggle with greatly. I just can bring myself to race my original car, I would be devastated if I wrecked that one, probably end up in a total shutdown. I can deal with fixing a spare car. I have a better chance of it being a Christmas present, as my b-day isn't till next March Mikie

I had an RC10 waaaay back in the 1990's too! I use to race them at a local club.
Yeah it was a good techie atmosphere.
I also owned in my time a Kyosho Ultima. I preferred the simplicity of 2wd.
Nowadays on road racing seems to be the go. I am tempted, but time and money prevent me.
(Sorry. Perhaps this is a thread for another place)

 

[gregmcph]

A trip. A few of days... anywhere really. Darwin, Fiji, Hong Kong. Budget flight tickets.
I'll have to talk to the wife.

 

[Judge]

Careful! That can be interpreted in more than one way.

It's allowed.

 

[stanmgk]

My birthday is in January 1st, so I "kinda" have a birthday party (because it's new year's day). I don't really like parties. I don't really like my family. I like to celebrate the New Year's day with my parents, eating cake and stuff.

I usually get 100 reais (about US$50) for birthday. I'm not sure if I want something this year. Maybe LEGOs.

 

[Flinty]

A day off. (The good news: my birthday is often on a long weekend. And if it's not, I just book a holiday anyway because we're not busy.)

 

[artfull dodger]

Greg, shoot me a pvt conversation, I love to talk RC cars! I would take RC stuff for every gift giving season! Mikie

 

[umbrellabeach]

My birthday is in four days and I've been making plans for a while. I want basically a relaxed day doing things I love, and I asked my mom to make my favorite meal for dinner. I also plan to read my favorite book. As for gifts, one of my special interests is Disney so my family all know to get me things related to my favorite characters (especially things related to their history, like comics and "making of" books), and this year I'm also hoping to get the silver locket from H2O: Just Add Water, a TV show that I recently rediscovered and became obsessed with.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Food. What I always want. Food. I think last year for my birthday I was really craving my dad's cooking, so I came over for supper one night. It was gooood. Then we sat around, chatted, let mine and my sister's kid play with each other, and generally had a good visit. No presents, no confetti, nothing out of the ordinary. It was very nice. Would have been perfect if I'd remembered to bring a certain dish, but that's my fault.

And Star Trek is awesome!

 

[Randomperson]

I would like to not be depressed on my birthday, that is what I would like. It would also be nice if someone that never tortured me remembered the day as well, I do not need presents or parties but some affection would be nice.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I wish I was more intelligent and that learning new things would be easier for me.

 

[SyAn]

It's like I'm allergic to love.

I don't think that you are allergic to love, but I wonder whether you might doubt that you deserve it? And therefore can't quite believe that people mean it?

I practically never shout, but YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED.
So there.

And happy birthday

 

[Peace]

Happy Birthday my friend.
Disappointment comes from expectation. Expect nothing, and everything you get, no matter how small, will be a nice extra.