Is this what you call "mock arguing"?

[Misty Avich]

I know that it isn't a real argument, but I was just wondering what the term for pretend/playful arguing could be.

One time I had a week's annual leave off work but there was a meeting held on one of the days I was off, and while I wasn't expected to attend the meeting because I was supposed to be off that week, I still did.

Boss: I'm going to pay you for two hours, being so you have turned up even though you didn't have to
Me: Oh, no need, I wanted to come to the meeting and it's no trouble, honestly
Boss: Yes but this week is supposed to be your vacation from work, the least I can do is pay you
Me: No, honestly, I don't mind coming in for the meeting
Boss: That's not the point, I am going to pay you and I don't want to hear any more of it

*We both laugh and I thank him*

This wasn't a real argument. This was positivity from both parties, sort of like joking, banter, that sort of thing. The boss likes my willing attitude and I didn't have to come in for the meeting and he didn't have to pay me.
Anyway, do you get what I mean? I do like these moments with people, it's like a bonding thing. I call it "mock arguing", although there might be a better term for it.

 

[Judge]

Stands to reason. I like finding articles like this which kind of mitigate the stereotype of autistic persons being collectively argumentative. That like empathy, it may simply be misunderstood at times by NTs.

Autistic Kids - The Difference Between Arguing and Seeking Understanding

After spending a significant amount of time with Autistic students over the past five years, I’ve had the op

psychcentral.com

 

[Misty Avich]

These sorts of mock arguments are commonly demonstrated among NTs as well, so when I do it I feel quite normal.

It's a completely different thing to real arguing. In fact the two aren't connected at all.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Stands to reason. I like finding articles like this which kind of mitigate the stereotype of autistic persons being collectively argumentative. That like empathy, it may simply be misunderstood at times by NTs.

Autistic Kids - The Difference Between Arguing and Seeking Understanding

After spending a significant amount of time with Autistic students over the past five years, I’ve had the op

psychcentral.com

This describes me STILL. I have been this way all my life.

The most current example is: my doctor wants to change a medication. I keep asking questions about the change because I have to understand the WHY while she just wants me to do what I’ve been told.

 

[Judge]

This describes me STILL. I have been this way all my life.

The most current example is: my doctor wants to change a medication. I keep asking questions about the change because I have to understand the WHY while she just wants me to do what I’ve been told.

It still bothers me as to why sincere curiosity is so often taken as impertinence.

 

[Jonn]

The boss likes my willing attitude

So do I.
It is rare.

 

[Jonn]

It still bothers me as to why sincere curiosity is so often taken as impertinence.

Once again, I think "projection" is a major contributor.
Some people expect disagreement and will misinterpret what is said.

As I have mentioned elsewhere, even when I am agreeing with someone at times, they think I am disagreeing.
Hence, I usually put "agreed" as my first statement.

There is so much negativity on the internet. <sigh>

 

[Thinx]

It still bothers me as to why sincere curiosity is so often taken as impertinence.

I think it's because non auties mostly have agendas, where usually we just mean what we say. It seems to be a brain difference. So we are assumed by them to have agendas.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think we've swayed slightly away from topic but doesn't matter.

 

[Jonn]

I think we've swayed slightly away from topic but doesn't matter.

I don't see it as a mock argument.
Your boss was recognizing your positive work ethic.
You were reinforcing that through your resisting the offer of payment.

You both had a valid position.
How is it "mock"/pretend?

"Please explain."

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't see it as a mock argument.
Your boss was recognizing your positive work ethic.
You were reinforcing that through your resisting the offer of payment.

You both had a valid position.
How is it "mock"/pretend?

"Please explain."

It's difficult to explain lol. Like I said, I know it wasn't an argument. Factually it's not pretend of course, but in the context of arguing then it's pretend.

Real arguing is two people disagreeing with each other and negative emotions (rage, upset, etc). Mock arguing is two people agreeing with each other and positive emotions (laughter, complimentary, etc).

 

[MNAus]

It's difficult to explain lol. Like I said, I know it wasn't an argument. Factually it's not pretend of course, but in the context of arguing then it's pretend.

Real arguing is two people disagreeing with each other and negative emotions (rage, upset, etc). Mock arguing is two people agreeing with each other and positive emotions (laughter, complimentary, etc).

So what you're seeing is social protocol. It's a form of positive politeness in which you both show deference and respect for each other. You demonstrate your respect and positivity for your boss' goals and leadership, and he showed respect and positivity for your contribution, time and sacrifice. If genuine, these sorts of interactions allow both people to increase the positive face of the other. You make him look like a good leader who holds important meetings on important matters, and he makes you look like a positive and committed member of the team.

 

[Misty Avich]

So what you're seeing is social protocol. It's a form of positive politeness in which you both show deference and respect for each other. You demonstrate your respect and positivity for your boss' goals and leadership, and he showed respect and positivity for your contribution, time and sacrifice. If genuine, these sorts of interactions allow both people to increase the positive face of the other. You make him look like a good leader who holds important meetings on important matters, and he makes you look like a positive and committed member of the team.

Yes, like that.

 

[Au Naturel]

I know that it isn't a real argument, but I was just wondering what the term for pretend/playful arguing could be.

One time I had a week's annual leave off work but there was a meeting held on one of the days I was off, and while I wasn't expected to attend the meeting because I was supposed to be off that week, I still did.

Boss: I'm going to pay you for two hours, being so you have turned up even though you didn't have to
Me: Oh, no need, I wanted to come to the meeting and it's no trouble, honestly
Boss: Yes but this week is supposed to be your vacation from work, the least I can do is pay you
Me: No, honestly, I don't mind coming in for the meeting
Boss: That's not the point, I am going to pay you and I don't want to hear any more of it

*We both laugh and I thank him*

This wasn't a real argument. This was positivity from both parties, sort of like joking, banter, that sort of thing. The boss likes my willing attitude and I didn't have to come in for the meeting and he didn't have to pay me.
Anyway, do you get what I mean? I do like these moments with people, it's like a bonding thing. I call it "mock arguing", although there might be a better term for it.

Your boss may have a legal obligation. If I showed up at work, even if I didn't have to, and did anything at all work-related, I had to be paid for 4 hours. Federal labor law.

 

[Misty Avich]

Your boss may have a legal obligation. If I showed up at work, even if I didn't have to, and did anything at all work-related, I had to be paid for 4 hours. Federal labor law.

Well all meetings at my work are less than an hour long but he was willing to pay me two hours in honour of thanking me for attending the meeting.

 

[Hypnalis]

@Misty Avich

I'm not sure if anyone has accurately explained what happened, but I will if you like.

I use that technique myself, because it gets the correct result, it's unambiguous, and everyone's happy at the end.
You could have avoided it, but what you did wasn't a mistake, so you don't have to be concerned about any after-effects.

 

[Misty Avich]

@Misty Avich

I'm not sure if anyone has accurately explained what happened, but I will if you like.

I use that technique myself, because it gets the correct result, it's unambiguous, and everyone's happy at the end.
You could have avoided it, but what you did wasn't a mistake, so you don't have to be concerned about any after-effects.

Definitely not, that's why I like those sorts of interactions. I'm good at recognising and understanding different tones of voice, and in these mock "arguments" a similar tone of voice is used as it would in a real argument but not quite the same tone of course. It's like he's "telling me off" jokingly because he's admiring my passion as an employee.

It is hard to explain I guess.