AuBurney Tuckerson
~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~
I can't do it anymore! It's too much! Every day, I'm going out into the loud, smelly, bright world of torture and agony! I'm having to drive a 4 cylinder car (with the loud roaring engine) on a high a pitched expressway road to college classes where I'm sitting in a room of backpacks dropping, doors squealing and slamming, trucks outside rumbling and roaring, loud staplers, and loud popping binder rings!
Don't even get me started on the bad breath and poop-smelling bathrooms! Then I end up going to the dreaded gas station every two to three days to fill up on gas where the loud rumbling vehicles outside, the beeping noise inside the store, and the squeaky handles torture me!
Last, there is the store of torture--Walmart. I just went in the hellish place today just to get some items I needed, and I ended up having to run out the store with my paid items! It was too much! I was clenching my ears under my headphones that barely work and letting out yelps. Stupid humans were staring at me. All the loud banging of the carts, rattling, screaming kids, high a pitched beeping, squeals, squeaks, squawks, bumping, I CAN'T TAKE IT! IT'S TOO LOUD! -cries, screams, and bangs head- Why does God hate me so much that I have to go through life of hell every day?
All I wish is for something to help stop my every day torture. At least one day without torture would be all I wish for. I've never had one good day since. Every day, I'm hoping to be put out of my misery.. I can't do it myself. Suicide is wrong, and I don't have the guts to even harm myself. All I can do is sit and hope that something puts me out of my misery to end my suffering.
I learned the hard way that noises canceling earmuffs and ear defenders for autistics don't exist or work at all. They are just scams to give false hope to anyone else who would be suffering the same torture. I know because we ordered some Califones from autism products.com, and it had 3 reviews. They were good reviews. When I got them, they didn't muffle anything. I look at the kids on YouTube with earmuffs like snug and just awesome, but even if we did order them, I just know they won't work on me. NOTHING will..
I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my pathetic life, and no one would care because I'm just another mistake of nature.. No one ever listens to me, and now I have a whole eternity to suffer from my own senses. In already know where I'm going in the afterlife. There's no way God would let someone like me into Heaven anyway.
If anyone else is suffering the same way, I would wonder how they're still living like this with no help. Again, thus is not a threat. I said I won't harm myself. I can't do that. I know I deserve to live through all of this punishment, so there's no point in trying to be happy.
Don't even get me started on the bad breath and poop-smelling bathrooms! Then I end up going to the dreaded gas station every two to three days to fill up on gas where the loud rumbling vehicles outside, the beeping noise inside the store, and the squeaky handles torture me!
Last, there is the store of torture--Walmart. I just went in the hellish place today just to get some items I needed, and I ended up having to run out the store with my paid items! It was too much! I was clenching my ears under my headphones that barely work and letting out yelps. Stupid humans were staring at me. All the loud banging of the carts, rattling, screaming kids, high a pitched beeping, squeals, squeaks, squawks, bumping, I CAN'T TAKE IT! IT'S TOO LOUD! -cries, screams, and bangs head- Why does God hate me so much that I have to go through life of hell every day?
All I wish is for something to help stop my every day torture. At least one day without torture would be all I wish for. I've never had one good day since. Every day, I'm hoping to be put out of my misery.. I can't do it myself. Suicide is wrong, and I don't have the guts to even harm myself. All I can do is sit and hope that something puts me out of my misery to end my suffering.
I learned the hard way that noises canceling earmuffs and ear defenders for autistics don't exist or work at all. They are just scams to give false hope to anyone else who would be suffering the same torture. I know because we ordered some Califones from autism products.com, and it had 3 reviews. They were good reviews. When I got them, they didn't muffle anything. I look at the kids on YouTube with earmuffs like snug and just awesome, but even if we did order them, I just know they won't work on me. NOTHING will..
I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my pathetic life, and no one would care because I'm just another mistake of nature.. No one ever listens to me, and now I have a whole eternity to suffer from my own senses. In already know where I'm going in the afterlife. There's no way God would let someone like me into Heaven anyway.
If anyone else is suffering the same way, I would wonder how they're still living like this with no help. Again, thus is not a threat. I said I won't harm myself. I can't do that. I know I deserve to live through all of this punishment, so there's no point in trying to be happy.