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Featured The World Of Torture and Walmart, The TortureMart

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by AuBurney Tuckerson, Oct 6, 2018.

  1. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson GigglesTheHyena

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    I can't do it anymore! It's too much! Every day, I'm going out into the loud, smelly, bright world of torture and agony! I'm having to drive a 4 cylinder car (with the loud roaring engine) on a high a pitched expressway road to college classes where I'm sitting in a room of backpacks dropping, doors squealing and slamming, trucks outside rumbling and roaring, loud staplers, and loud popping binder rings!

    Don't even get me started on the bad breath and poop-smelling bathrooms! Then I end up going to the dreaded gas station every two to three days to fill up on gas where the loud rumbling vehicles outside, the beeping noise inside the store, and the squeaky handles torture me!

    Last, there is the store of torture--Walmart. I just went in the hellish place today just to get some items I needed, and I ended up having to run out the store with my paid items! It was too much! I was clenching my ears under my headphones that barely work and letting out yelps. Stupid humans were staring at me. All the loud banging of the carts, rattling, screaming kids, high a pitched beeping, squeals, squeaks, squawks, bumping, I CAN'T TAKE IT! IT'S TOO LOUD! -cries, screams, and bangs head- Why does God hate me so much that I have to go through life of hell every day?

    All I wish is for something to help stop my every day torture. At least one day without torture would be all I wish for. I've never had one good day since. Every day, I'm hoping to be put out of my misery.. I can't do it myself. Suicide is wrong, and I don't have the guts to even harm myself. All I can do is sit and hope that something puts me out of my misery to end my suffering.

    I learned the hard way that noises canceling earmuffs and ear defenders for autistics don't exist or work at all. They are just scams to give false hope to anyone else who would be suffering the same torture. I know because we ordered some Califones from autism products.com, and it had 3 reviews. They were good reviews. When I got them, they didn't muffle anything. I look at the kids on YouTube with earmuffs like snug and just awesome, but even if we did order them, I just know they won't work on me. NOTHING will..

    I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my pathetic life, and no one would care because I'm just another mistake of nature.. No one ever listens to me, and now I have a whole eternity to suffer from my own senses. In already know where I'm going in the afterlife. There's no way God would let someone like me into Heaven anyway.

    If anyone else is suffering the same way, I would wonder how they're still living like this with no help. Again, thus is not a threat. I said I won't harm myself. I can't do that. I know I deserve to live through all of this punishment, so there's no point in trying to be happy.
     
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  2. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Not so well known member of anything V.I.P Member

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    You could try ear protectors used when target shooting. I don’t know the actual name for them but I have a pair by Ruger. They have gel type padding around the ears and top of the head.
    You can still hear voices faintly but loud sharp sounds are very muffled.
    I used wear mine when I took my Schnauzer places in the car because she would bark and not shut up!
     
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  3. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson GigglesTheHyena

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    Idk where to get them, how much they cost, or if they will even work.
     
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  4. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Try Amazon - you can find anything on Amazon.
     
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  5. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Not so well known member of anything V.I.P Member

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    I found some on Amazon but they don’t look real different from good sound suppression headphones for autism. They range in price around $20 to $30. But if you already tried some and they didn’t work, idk.
    They have different dB ratings. If the ones you have are rated lower than 30dB, maybe trying stronger ones would work better.
     
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  6. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT, INFJ V.I.P Member

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  7. OkRad

    OkRad Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I have serious sensory issues. I find MACS help because you can shove them in and they seal. If I need more, I use the purple ones (that you can buy at Torture-Mart) which enables me to go into Torture Mart without screaming. Those beige little suckers don't work at all. Expensive ones are no better than the purple ones.

    I am looking for the ones soldiers use. Does anyone know?

    I dropped everything and beat it out of Target recently. If I am going to be tortured, at least I am going the cheapest place, and that's Torture Mart. I hate it, too.
     
  8. TempeFan

    TempeFan Active Member

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    Even walmart has walmart.com and walmartgrocery.com where you can shop from the quiet comfort of your own home and have groceries delivered or pick them up outside the store. It's possible to do a lot of stuff from home, like school and shopping and telemedicine and telecommuting but being a permanent shut in would be like jail.

    Professional grade ear protectors manufactured for target shooting work great. Products manufactured as medical supplies are just junk. Members of the medical community do not practice medicine anymore, just marketing. It's pretty much just scams and placebos designed to keep you suffering so that you will be desperate enough to keep coming back for more on the off chance the next RX will work. For sensory overload, tried and true home remedies usually work better than drugs made with only profit in mind, lavender, chamomile, decaf, etc. . You have to get creative to find what works for you.
     
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  9. Gritches

    Gritches The Happy Dog V.I.P Member

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    If it's at all possible, could you go very early in the morning? I usually go around 3-7 AM
     
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  10. OrdinaryCitizen

    OrdinaryCitizen Well-Known Member

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  11. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I have a electronic headset that is designed for shooting. They work very good and are adjustable. I got them at a gun shop for about $40. Unfortunately they will not help with icky smells.
     
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  12. 2205

    2205 Well-Known Member

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    Have you ever thought about moving to a quieter place? Countryside?

    I go through the same thing every day as you describe. I grew up in the countryside and I can assure that 90% of sensory-related problems don't exist there. For example, I discovered my sensory issues only when I moved to the city in my 20s (when I also discovered I'm on the spectrum).

    You can't remove the loud cars from streets and people from walmart, but you can remove yourself away from those places. Really, there are nicer places on earth to live.
     
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  13. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson GigglesTheHyena

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    We are unable to move to the countryside.
     
  14. Major Tom

    Major Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I can feel that.. The only thing that marginally helps me is listening to music on ear buds. When I use my shooters headset, all I can hear is ringing in my ears and it sounds like I'm underwater, but the sounds are all still there. Smells also drive me to the point of losing it at times too. Like the smell of burning rice chaff.
     
  15. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    It might be something to work towards or save for in the future though (as in, once college is over). Believe me, it's worth it.

    My own sensory issues are fairly numerous. In particular, I am sensitive to sound.

    BUT. I do indeed live in a dull, rural area, not a big city or an urban zone. I could not handle an urban area... I really couldnt. The nearest city to me is Chicago, and you could not PAY me to go there.

    Where I live though is sort of on the border between civilization, and unending grass and farms... the nearest urban area is quite far from here (Chicago itself being about 90 minutes away). The most crowded area I ever have to deal with is an extremely specific road near here (because all the stores and such are on that road, apparently someone thought that was a good idea) and that's it. If I so much as drive for just 2 minutes to the west, I'm in the middle of bloody nowhere.

    And it works. Well, usually. I do still have to deal with the Walmart, but living in a non-urban area means I'm not just stressed out by default; so when I do have to go into the Walmart itself, it's not so bad. Hell, I go there out of pure boredom sometimes (it's somewhere to walk around, and it's only 5 minutes from where I'm at). But if you're going into it ALREADY stressed from noise and crowds and such... then yeah, it's no wonder you see it as being pure torment. Even I cant deal with Walmart when I'm already feeling overwhelmed.

    The best part is though, that in a very rural area like this, there's ALWAYS places you can go to de-stress. I often like to take my van and just go roam at random; there's alot of roads here that don't really go anywhere or have much of anything on them aside from the occaisional farm, and very little traffic.... I can just drive around and take in the scenery and the wind (I dont do this during winter though, because winter is horrible... but that's just me). There's parks and forest preserves to go walk around, in an area like this.

    Of course, college doesn't make that easy... they always put colleges in crowded areas. One way or another, you're going to have to just bite the bullet, as they say, and power through it. But what happens after that is up to you. You CAN make it... don't tell yourself that you cant. Try looking into other areas you want to live in, areas that don't suck, and maybe work towards those as a post-college goal.

    But here's another thing: Did you ever think to talk to someone at the college about this? Those places have counselors for a reason, after all... maybe someone there might have some ideas that could help you. I mean, looking for help here on the forums is great and all, but searching for help that's actually near you might help a bit more.
     
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  16. OrdinaryCitizen

    OrdinaryCitizen Well-Known Member

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    I think its not the sounds that bother you its more of a stress in general, sounds add to it, but its not the main point here, you can learn to tune out of any sounds and focus on your thing, i did.
     
  17. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know?

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    It's in it's early stages, but some supermarkets in the UK are introducing autism friendly periods on a weekly basis known as "quiet hours". An hour or an hour and a half with no music, no staff packing shelves, cleared aisles and extraneous sounds dialled down as low as they can go. Morrisons - one of the big national chains recently adopted it nationwide.
    Are there any places doing similar in the US? It would mean buying your groceries at the same time every week, but it might ease your suffering.

    Quieter Hour - Morrisons
     
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  18. OlLiE

    OlLiE Well-Known Member

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    step 1: if you can, do your shopping when no one else can or wants to (first thing in the morning on weekends, during working and school hours otherwise)

    step 2: is there any way to study more at home?

    step 3: no noise cancelling headphones guarantee 100% quiet, they are focused on cancelling out droning noises, planes, trains background murmering, higher tone are a shorter wavelength and fluctuate mor, so they can't handle it > tip: put in earplugs first, then put the headphones over with pink noise

    i'm mid 40's, it is all about knowing your limits, spreading your efforts and finding coping strategies
     
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  19. Sir Stig

    Sir Stig New Member

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    @AuBurney Tuckerson: Getting older helps, i think. Knowing the cause of the intense impressions, and that this is not how most people experience the world are also comforting in a way (for me at least). I tried a friends (he is a sound engineer) shooting range ear protectors, and I was amazed. It cancelled out only the loud noises, so I did not get the dotted feeling I get with ear protectors that shuts out everything for a few seconds, then turns everything on again... I will ask him what brand and type he has.

    YEEESSS!!! Thank you! The rush and allure of extreme awareness, even if it is draining, is very hard to resist. Most of the time I try to endure and balance, but on some occasions, when I have capacity, it sometimes feels like I am all-seeing, making sense out of E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. I want to, and try to communicate what is going on, but most people regulate input by jumping to conclusions. It is only natural, to save the brain from collapsing. So, I can only be in that state of perception alone. Auspie Superpower. I like that.
     
  20. Mattymatt

    Mattymatt Well-Known Member

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    I use a pair of ANSI II/OSHA rated ear muffs because I work out on the tarmac of an airport which is a very noisy place. I don't remember the manufacturer, but when I go back tomorrow, I'll get that info for you. They're not perfect but they're designed to work in very high noise environments, i.e. +85 decibels.

    On another note, I can completely identify with the situation in Walmart. I cannot emphasize enough how much I loathe going in there. The screaming and crying kids and the impossibility of getting anyone to unlock fitting rooms just to try on clothes is maddening. It's sensory overload!
     
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