The Figure of Speech That You Dislike The Most

[Christian T]

1. Can I say something?
2. Do you mind if I ask you a question?
3. LOL

1,2--How would I know? I haven't heard it yet, and if I had, it would be too late for me to answer effectively.
3. Very little is that funny, certainly nothing one has to call attention to by using LOL after it.

I loved it when Dumbledore made fun of no.2. Harry asked him that and he said "you just did, but you may ask me one more question."

And I do agree that LOL is pretty idiotic. I can't wait for that to fall out of use, it's getting boring.

 

[buckyboy14]

I hate when people use negatives and expect you to give the incorrect answer. For example, if someone was asking me if I didn't like something, they would say, "do you not like that?" And the correct answer would be "yes," not "no"! And when I answer correctly, they always look at me in an odd way. It's ridiculous.

 

[Christian T]

I hate when people use negatives and expect you to give the incorrect answer. For example, if someone was asking me if I didn't like something, they would say, "do you not like that?" And the correct answer would be "yes," not "no"! And when I answer correctly, they always look at me in an odd way. It's ridiculous.

Ah yes. It's one of those ones that only makes sense intuitively after you've heard it enough times, but just crumbles as soon as you pick at it.

I remember when I was 6 and working on a particular project, I could never please the teacher - often the easiest, most obvious things elude me, while I have a solid understanding of the complex things, and most people can't understand that. This was a very short-tempered teacher and she asked me, "weren't you listening when I was explaining what we had to do?" which of course is really another way of saying "is it true that you weren't listening?" Since that statement was incorrect - I was listening but I interpreted her differently to all of the neurotypicals - I said "no".

So, she thought I wasn't listening, but I never corrected her because it was very convenient to play dumb with her.

 

[buckyboy14]

I understand completely. And when you respond correctly, teachers call you a "smart aleck." I can't count how many times I've been called that.

 

[Geordie]

'Wait a minute'.

I know what he means, 'wait as long as you can'. I take things way- too- literally.

 

[buckyboy14]

There is a Valvoline oil change shop in my neighborhood with a sign that says "In n out quicker than a jiffy." I think that is false advertising, because a "jiffy" is 1/100th of a second, and if it takes longer than that, I should be able to sue them for it.

 

[Geordie]

I think that is false advertising, because a "jiffy" is 1/100th of a second, and if it takes longer than that, I should be able to sue them for it.

Exactly.

I think almost everyone makes the same mistakes when they say, I'll be there in a (insert any figurative temporal word here).

We all are waiting to be sued. lol

 

[King_Oni]

There is a Valvoline oil change shop in my neighborhood with a sign that says "In n out quicker than a jiffy." I think that is false advertising, because a "jiffy" is 1/100th of a second, and if it takes longer than that, I should be able to sue them for it.

It's a bit like "do you have a second?"... yeah, I have... if you asked me if I had a minute, I'd have 60 seconds. However the point is; What can you possibly tell me within that second? And how can you be that sure you don't use more of my time?

 

[Soup]

'In this new millennium' 'Now that we're in a new millennium' <----typically followed by a slurry of inane idiocies (usually spouted by some brain dead dumb as a bucket of rocks inbred politician).

So...you flipped a page on your calendar & changed the date on your mobile. You bought a new agenda. BIG FAT HAIRY DEAL!

Why do I need stop what I'm doing to become more aware of ________( <------ add cause celebre here ) because 'its a new millennium'. You mean that in 1999 up until 23:59 pm some horrible disease, poverty, child predators, wasn't important & wasn't affecting anyone & was less relevant? Had I known that, I simply would've gone into DENIAL & kept my old calendar! For some odd reason, many NT type's ears prick up whenever someone with a microphone (a camera & a soap box) prefaces a statement with some clap-trap about 'the new millennium'. GET OVER IT: it's 2012 already & I can't think of any major change that has swept the planet due to masses of bedraggled humans shelling out a few bucks for a new calendar.

Any problem that really needs addressing on a global scale needed addressing before the end of the old millennium & will probably require addressing for a looong time to come.

 

[buckyboy14]

That reminds me about something else I don't like: People calling the year 2000 the "new millennium" when the millennium actually began in 2001.

 

[HelloDizzy]

That "a water" thing irks me also.

And "hit the sack." As a former boxer, shut up please. You're going to bed in attempt to sleep.

 

[Christian T]

'In this new millennium' 'Now that we're in a new millennium' <----typically followed by a slurry of inane idiocies (usually spouted by some brain dead dumb as a bucket of rocks inbred politician).

So...you flipped a page on your calendar & changed the date on your mobile. You bought a new agenda. BIG FAT HAIRY DEAL!

Why do I need stop what I'm doing to become more aware of ________( <------ add cause celebre here ) because 'its a new millennium'. You mean that in 1999 up until 23:59 pm some horrible disease, poverty, child predators, wasn't important & wasn't affecting anyone & was less relevant? Had I known that, I simply would've gone into DENIAL & kept my old calendar! For some odd reason, many NT type's ears prick up whenever someone with a microphone (a camera & a soap box) prefaces a statement with some clap-trap about 'the new millennium'. GET OVER IT: it's 2012 already & I can't think of any major change that has swept the planet due to masses of bedraggled humans shelling out a few bucks for a new calendar.

Any problem that really needs addressing on a global scale needed addressing before the end of the old millennium & will probably require addressing for a looong time to come.

Delightfully well-expressed, and so true. Significant historical changes rarely follow the number system, so I don't really think it's that appropriate to break down history into decades and centuries, even though it's the most convenient way.

 

[Christian T]

That "a water" thing irks me also.

And "hit the sack." As a former boxer, shut up please. You're going to bed in attempt to sleep.

What's the "a water" thing, I've never come across it and I'm curious.

Also, if I told/reminded you that "hit the sack" is derived from those old-fashioned "beds" which were just sacks of hay tied together, would that make you more accepting? It's like "turn off the light" - which came from those old gas lamps that were literally "turned" - the object itself changes but the idiom remains.

 

[Gomendosi]

What's the "a water" thing, I've never come across it and I'm curious.

Christian T, You'll find the answer to that question here on page one of this same thread ; ]

 

[Christian T]

Christian T, You'll find the answer to that question here on page one of this same thread ; ]

Oh, right! I forgot - very kind of you to give me the link, thanks!

 

[Christian T]

I also think that "how are you?" could be considered in this category, mostly the person asking the question is not asking for a summary of your current state of health. It's also a bit of a rhetorical question at times - I've had weird looks from people both when I have answered it and when I haven't, although I can handle those looks.

P.S. double-posted again, what's wrong with me?

 

[Soup]

The insincerity of 'how are you' when most people say it irks me too. They really don't give a hoot about how you're actually feeling & really would rather you didn't tell them-so why ask in the 1st place?

Another stupid metaphor is "there's more than 1 way to skin a cat". What a creepy disgusting expression! Really. Who thinks about doing this kind of thing at all-let alone in multiple ways; Hannibal Lecter? Jack the Ripper? Anyone who uses this expression around me is NEVER going anywhere near my cat (or my dogs). Makes my skin crawl.

 

[Soup]

@ ChristianT: Thank you for moving my post to the right thread! I wrote that one when I was at half-mast & it's a mystery as to how it wound up in a sports thread when I feel no compulsion whatsoever to run around getting sweaty & smelling like an ox in order to chase a ball (that I don't stand a chance of catching any ways!) all over fake grass.

Another pair of expressions that make me wonder who the real weirdos truly are is: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The same person who says this also says Out of sight, out of mind! OOOOkkkay. Let's all contradict ourselves & make no sense whatsoever. Wasn't that fun, boys & girls?

 

[Christian T]

Let's all contradict ourselves & make no sense whatsoever

Ah, no soup. You don't understand, poor child. You must see the themes, the metaphors, the symbolism underneath these brilliant words...

Oh wait, were the scholars and critics pointing at those words or the other ones - oh! the other ones. Whoops.

Yeah, they are stupid contradictions that make no sense. Pardon me, I thought they were written by Shakespeare.

----Just in case there's any ambiguity there, all of the above is sarcastic---

 

[Geordie]

Another pair of expressions that make me wonder who the real weirdos truly are is: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The same person who says this also says Out of sight, out of mind! OOOOkkkay. Let's all contradict ourselves & make no sense whatsoever. Wasn't that fun, boys & girls?

It just expresses the view that some people, we really want to see, and for some people, we hope we won't see them.

This is why I say, this depends on a context; which is like, hmm, what's the context anyway.