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Renting a friend/paying someone to talk or hang out with you

M

Matthias

Well-Known Member
I came across a couple websites where you can pay people to act like they're your friend (they'll talk to you, text, hang out, go to a movie, restaurant, or party).

What do you think about it? Has anyone tried it?

I think it could be helpful to talk about special interests, work on social anxiety, become less socially awkward, understand people better, and feel less lonely if you're socially isolated although I wonder whether it is safe, how rented friends will respond to people who are autistic, and how it would compare to having real friends.
 
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It's gonna do none of those things and the won't be your friend. Sounds like a sad waste of money and a symptom of a very sick society.
 
That's been a thing in Japan for a very long time. Seems to work for some of them. I guess if you use it like therapy, it could be beneficial, with a plan for progress and things to work on with each meeting. Honestly, I've even thought about being the rented friend! If it helps, do it.
 
As @Ronin82 mentioned, it's an established practice in Japan, here are three articles that provide a bit of an introduction. The last two articles interview the same person and so there's some overlap.

The Incredibly True Story of Renting a Friend in Tokyo
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/11/paying-for-fake-friends-and-family/545060/
I rented a friend in Japan, and it made me a better friend

Outside of Japan, since it's not as established, it may be harder to find a "professional friend" who can be professional at the job.
 
I don't think it is a bad idea if you have particular goals. For myself I would want randomized companions so that I didn't get the same person every time. Seeing the same person every time would like buying a fake friend and a little creepy.

What about meetup groups? There might be meetups for your special interest or just for Autistics or the socially awkward. And as a suggestion, you mjght look for a hiking or walking group. Walking groups are often low key so that everyone can join. Also walking and talking can be a great way for you to practice skils without being the center of attention.
 
I would think of it as therapeutic.
Better than having a psych sitting there listening to you talking about your troubles and not really
caring.
I had one nod of to sleep while I was talking.

There would be more interesting things to talk about with a rent-a-friend.
The only person I stay in contact with in Missouri, where I lived before Florida, does this type of work.
She visits, (for pay), homebounds and takes those who are able to go out to places, shopping,
lunch, drives the places, etc. It isn't health care. She has no training or degrees, but, there is
an agency there she works for.
She calls them clients, but, knowing Kathy, she loves to talk and probably gets as much out of it
as the people who hire her do.
 
It sounds like you’re paying for an escort which is a very bad thing. I’m sure such a thing would have everyone you tell think you’re paying for adult services and need tested for all STDs immediately.
 
Ronin82 said:
That's been a thing in Japan for a very long time. Seems to work for some of them. I guess if you use it like therapy, it could be beneficial, with a plan for progress and things to work on with each meeting. Honestly, I've even thought about being the rented friend! If it helps, do it.
Click to expand...

Japan is known for a lot of weird things like that. One of the more creepier one is the sex doll. Yes you can get a this silicone female mannequin doll that you can sleep with and have sex with. I guess women are hard to come by in Japan, if Japanese men have to resort to this.
 
I probably could have used such as a young adult when I was figuring out things socially, a wingman that could have coached me through interactions. The people I was usually with during that rime were too self-absorbed to consider helping or I just did not know how to ask for help.
 
Suzette said:
I don't think it is a bad idea if you have particular goals. For myself I would want randomized companions so that I didn't get the same person every time. Seeing the same person every time would like buying a fake friend and a little creepy.

What about meetup groups? There might be meetups for your special interest or just for Autistics or the socially awkward. And as a suggestion, you mjght look for a hiking or walking group. Walking groups are often low key so that everyone can join. Also walking and talking can be a great way for you to practice skils without being the center of attention.
Click to expand...
Exactly. Which is why I recommend involvement with activity groups as a way to learn and practice socializing with little pressure. That helped my social maturity tremendously.
 
FreeDiver said:
Japan is known for a lot of weird things like that. One of the more creepier one is the sex doll. Yes you can get a this silicone female mannequin doll that you can sleep with and have sex with. I guess women are hard to come by in Japan, if Japanese men have to resort to this.
Click to expand...

Don't forget the robotic child sex dolls, too.

From a sex offender treatment standpoint, I enjoy having that conversation with the youth I work with because it always turns into a fascinating discussion on morality and ethics (Is a child sex doll any better than a real person?)
 
Captain Jigglypuff said:
It sounds like you’re paying for an escort which is a very bad thing. I’m sure such a thing would have everyone you tell think you’re paying for adult services and need tested for all STDs immediately.
Click to expand...
I can't tell if this is supposed to be funny or not. But even if you meant it in jest consider that people already think bizarre untrue things about others all the time. So it doesn't matter what others think.
 
It's true that Japan has a lot of this shall we say odd " services " and over there yes it works. BUT for us in the western part of the globe i would say its most likely a different form of new way for certain people to make a buck So i would strongly advice against this thing.

What you also have to keep in mind here is NON of it would be reel it's all an act (similar to the other scams of making money on people with certain needs for A LOT of money, incl sexual services) you don't mean diddly to them all they care about is getting youre money and then they are gone until next time you need their service.
 
I agree with the other poster, about being kind of similar to an escort. I know plenty of people use escorts for sexual services, but I don't have a problem with that as long as nobody forgets the kind of transaction that is happening.
This is similar, albeit a bit more vicious: if it were something like rent a companion I wouldn't have an issue, because at the end what people who pay for this service get is a person to keep their company to do something (like going to the cinema, dinner, whatever).
Saying this service is "rent a friend" is akin to say prostitues are "rent a girlfriend".

But again, as long as everyone know what its meant, I don't have a problem with its use. I can see like some people with social anxiety could pay for someone's company to work their issues (a therapist would be a better first choice, but this could work too).
 
My first thought when I read this post, is that it is a waste of time to pay someone to talk to you. Then I thought about paid escorts, which I have never used by the way. The concept is similar actually, except that one might offer services beyond talking.

My suggestion is to find someone with similar interests and say hello, comment on the weather, compliment them, and try to start a conversation. Allow the other person to talk, and respond to what they say. At the end thank them and wish them a happy/pleasant day. It’s good practice this with different people who you find interesting. Maybe you will make a friend eventually.
 
Because I already have trouble trusting strangers in real life as is, I don’t think this would be a good idea. Plenty of people treat me like I’m paying them to hang out with me and like it’s a waste of their time anyway.

(I’m talking about “irl” interactions. I do not feel like this on here :) )
 
Makes sense for a homogeneous culture like Japan...a society of very disciplined people.

But other cultures ? I see this as a platform for both the customer and the provider having agendas not so apparent relative to the service advertised.

Too easy for things to get ugly in all kinds of ways. :(
 
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