OCD

[danielcollins]

A friend of mine recently came across one of those facebook pictures with lots of "I can't help thinking about something" kinda quotes over it, mentioning OCD which got me thinking..

I've always known I had OCD as I was diagnosed with it along with Aspergers, ADHD etc as a child. I've never really done much research into it as I thought it was relatively self explanatory and my interests more directed towards Aspergers.

So I did some research around OCD and It's actually got quite a lot of symptoms I think the average person wouldn't consider related to OCD. From a literal perspective, one would think it was about having compulsions for order/cleanliness or the like and that's about it (I'm not putting down anyone with it, just what my thoughts of it were prior to researching into it). But it appears there's a lot of mental symptoms that fit with me perfectly:

I qoute: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-...sessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/#.Vs3HBpyLQ3w

Common obsessions
The three most common themes are:

• unwanted thoughts about harm or aggression
• unwanted sexual thoughts
• unwanted blasphemous thoughts

Some examples of obsessions include:
• a fear of failing to prevent harm – e.g. worrying that you have left
the cooker on and might cause a fire
• imagining doing harm – e.g. thinking that you are going to push
someone in front of a train
• intrusive sexual thoughts – e.g. worrying about abusing a child
• religious or blasphemous thoughts – e.g. having thoughts that are
against your religious beliefs
• fear of contamination – e.g. from dirt and germs in a toilet
• an excessive concern with order or symmetry – e.g. worrying if objects
are not in order
• illness or physical symptoms – e.g. thinking that you have cancer
when you have no symptoms.

And I find this really interesting as for years I've had intrusive thoughts of strange things, I just assumed there was something wrong with me (depression?) but never attributed it to anything else.

For me a couple of repeating ones are:

- Visions of falling over in the shower and snapping my neck
- Visions of suddenly crashing the car into the barrier and killing myself
- Visions of me failing to grip a powertool properly and harming myself (Like dropping an angle grinder)
- Visions of me becoming very angry and frustrated with someone then killing them

Although I understand I'd probably never do any of these things, nor do I have any desire to do so. They are still mental images none the less.

I thought it could be good to raise some awareness on OCD, as there maybe others with these thoughts who don't really know what to make of them. Now I can associate them with OCD I feel somewhat less broken.. but what to do about them is the next step.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Yeah, I get intrusive thoughts quite often. I have visions of having arguments with my family and it gets to the point where I go to my bedroom with a bin liner and a belt and suffocating myself, I've also got ones about doing...bad things to my newborn niece. Whether this is depression or anxiety, psychosis or if it is OCD working along side my tics, I don't know. It sucks really badly though. I will never do any of these things though, I ..think I know that much.

 

[danielcollins]

To an outsider the thoughts sound really distressing, it's hard to emphasize these are unwanted thoughts and not based in any desires etc.

That sounds really dangerous.. Is it something you'd brought up with a doctor? (If you don't mind me asking)

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Yeah, I've mentioned the suicidal thoughts to my care coordinator, whose in constant dialogue with my psychiatrist. I'm sure it's not a surprise to either of them. My psychiatrist mentioned in my last appointment that for me when I attempt to 'normalise' my autistic qualities, tics and obsessive compulsive tendencies can and will go up. He illustrated this with a triangle with autism at the top and OCD and tics at the bottoms. And since getting a tic in the middle of last year I started getting several more around Christmas so it's a pretty sound theory really.

I can see how people can think they sound dangerous too but this is the other side of OCD that people aren't too aware of. OCD isn't just being extra neat with your folding of clothes, they can actually sound quite psychotic at times without being psychotic.

 

[danielcollins]

I sort of get what you mean, i have to be very frank and honest in order to name maintain normality for me.

I don't like being "fake" or "false" it makes me stressed and i find all of my depression and other issues come flooding back.

Assume when you say tic you mean like a tourettes kind of tic?

 

[Datura]

I have been diagnosed with OCD. I still have intrusive thoughts, but they aren't as bad as they used to be. I often used to worry that I might jump into traffic or off of railings without provocation. Or I would have thoughts about breaking my dog's legs, or running up and kicking small children. I didn't actually want to do any of these things, I found them horrifying, but I had very little controll over their coming and going.

I still have this feeling that I shouldn't be around certain people because I will contaminate them with my evil. I realize this makes no rational sense, but the notion persists.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Assume when you say tic you mean like a tourettes kind of tic?

Yeah, motor tics though, not vocal. You need both for it to be Tourette's. It mainly involves head jerking and forceful blinking.

 

[danielcollins]

Yeah, motor tics though, not vocal. You need both for it to be Tourette's. It mainly involves head jerking and forceful blinking.

I assume that's a self-perpetuating situation as well, when you get them it makes you anxious which probably makes it worse..

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I assume that's a self-perpetuating situation as well, when you get them it makes you anxious which probably makes it worse..

Sometimes. More so for other people. But I'm trying to be comfortable with them, most people don't even notice when I tic so I try not to let it bother me. Talking about it openly also helps too.

 

[DogwoodTree]

My psychiatrist mentioned in my last appointment that for me when I attempt to 'normalise' my autistic qualities, tics and obsessive compulsive tendencies can and will go up. He illustrated this with a triangle with autism at the top and OCD and tics at the bottoms.

That's a really interesting concept. I hadn't heard of that theory before. Did your psychiatrist say any more about it?

 

[Southern Discomfort]

That's a really interesting concept. I hadn't heard of that theory before. Did your psychiatrist say any more about it?

That was it unfortunately. I've had a look on the internet to see if anywhere it says the same. I think there's a lack of the detail in online resources, just general gists of how things like autism work.

 

[tree]