My boyfriend is threatening to dump me because of me getting medical guardianship. Is that reasonable?

[Ronald Zeeman]

Read the complete thread , starting to see a pattern So two questions for you. First is your boyfriend also on the spectrum. Second is your ring finger longer than your index finger. If both are true I think I know what is going on Has nothing to do with intellectual capacity. Rather your mothers bias toward autism.

 

[monkeyclogs]

Definitely. And IQ tests don't measure nearly all abilities - nor do they measure all ways of demonstrating the abilities they try to measure.

Modern IQ tests go beyond full-scale IQ and your scores are broken down and various indexes used to identify specific disabilities.

My IQ subtest scores are so uneven (69 to 130) I do not even have an FSIQ score - nowhere in the report does it say "tortoise has an IQ of [number]" because there is too much subtest scatter.

Instead of an IQ I have an estimated General Ability Index and a Cognitive Proficiency Index (that are almost 4 standard deviations -- almost 60 points -- apart) ...and even those don't reflect the variance in my actual skills, so in my report there are many pages of specific test scores (way beyond just IQ subtest scores) and descriptions of my performance and areas of ability where I have obvious problems.

That sounds much more helpful than my report! Which in all honesty has left me with with more questions than answers when it comes to cognitive function. She noted that within each test my performance was erratic.

A lot of the tests started easy and continued to get harder. They ended when either I'd got a certain number of them wrong in a row or i ran out of time.

I remember in one test, where I had to reorder a set of numbers and letters based on a set of rules. My success rate was only just good enough to keep the test going. Then, as it went on, i sudennly fell into a rhythm like a light had been switched on. Then she her demeanor changed and sudennly it was like the light had been switched off and the erraticism returned.

As I don't seem to have any control over the light switch, conceivably I could have been in the dark for the whole assessment resulting in a conclusion that I have a low IQ.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

It might be smart to take a babysitting/baby care class.

But the first priority is probably going to be too contact the attorney.

Have you looked some up in your area?

No I haven’t but I’m gunna contact an attorney. I might take parenting classes when it’s time to have a baby

Disability Rights New York provides free legal services and advocacy including legal representation by an attorney.

She should call Disability Rights New York, not start calling random lawyers.

Because random lawyers may or may not have the abililty or knowledge to assist her. Random lawyers may have the same biases and prejudice as the general population. And random lawyers are unlikely to even advise her for free, let alone represent her for free.

Yeah I am going to call disability rights as soon as possible!

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

We waited two years after marriage before starting family both of us had low paying positions Once I changed positions we started.

 

[Hypnalis]

@dancerxoxo123

I think you should get a bit of practice at IQ tests (see below) then get re-tested.

Also learn to ignore the person supervising the test.
They're there to stop cheating. Beyond that they should not be close enough to see what you're doing.
:
:
In general, IQ tests are fairly accurate. But there are always some low-frequency but important imperfections in any test that's applied to everyone, including IQ tests.

For example there are larger variations in people at the high end than people in the middle.
And there are correlated skills (like math and pattern recognition) that can provide a small but significant advantage.

And one other thing that might well apply to you: up to a point, you can get better at them by practicing similar questions. This is because you need to recognize the kind of question before you can start to find an answer.
For example the very first image in the Wikipedia article here:
Intelligence quotient - Wikipedia

That kind of question is very common in IQ and aptitude tests (at least the kind I've done).
They're a bit easier if you've answered similar questions previously, and you have some personal techniques for solving them.

 

[Mary Terry]

Yeah he didn’t leave when I told him I was going to get medical guardianship but I’m capable of making my own medical decisions so this means medical guardianship isn’t necessary for me and I should stop it as soon as possible ?

I don't know what you should do, @dancerxoxo123. Do you think you can raise and financially support a baby by yourself? That is an important consideration because fathers/boyfriends often abandon their children and the mothers of their children. It is a distinct possibility that you need to think about.

If your boyfriend is working on you moving in with him, financially supporting himself and you 100%, and also capable of financially supporting a child, too, then I'd feel better about your getting pregnant. Babies are hard work 24/7. I've had 3 of them so I speak from experience!

 

[Judge]

I don't know what you should do, @dancerxoxo123. Do you think you can raise and financially support a baby by yourself? That is an important consideration because fathers/boyfriends often abandon their children and the mothers of their children. It is a distinct possibility that you need to think about.

If your boyfriend is working on you moving in with him, financially supporting himself and you 100%, and also capable of financially supporting a child, too, then I'd feel better about your getting pregnant. Babies are hard work 24/7. I've had 3 of them so I speak from experience!

Good points raised.

The sort of questions most likely to pop up at such a hearing to determine the OP's ability to raise children. Specific issues you want to be aware of, and be prepared to answer them in a way that supports your intent to remain independent without medical guardianship.

 

[dancerxoxo123]

I don't know what you should do, @dancerxoxo123. Do you think you can raise and financially support a baby by yourself? That is an important consideration because fathers/boyfriends often abandon their children and the mothers of their children. It is a distinct possibility that you need to think about.

If your boyfriend is working on you moving in with him, financially supporting himself and you 100%, and also capable of financially supporting a child, too, then I'd feel better about your getting pregnant. Babies are hard work 24/7. I've had 3 of them so I speak from experience!

I can’t afford a baby on my own right now. I would need support

 

[Judge]

I can’t afford a baby on my own right now. I would need support

Good response. Shows that she's working the problem without being impulsive. Again, it's the sort of thing that makes me question the validity of such a stigmatized IQ score.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

you and him are in your early 20s?

 

[honeytoast]

you and him are in your early 20s?

This is not the time or the place for this.

 

[Poppy98]

This is not the time or the place for this.

(confused)
Age is relevant to financial planning for a baby, especially as a female, but she already knows that she 35 is when complications become more common, so she's probably got the info she needs there without giving she info if that was the concern.

 

[JayLapointe]

Read the complete thread , starting to see a pattern So two questions for you. First is your boyfriend also on the spectrum. Second is your ring finger longer than your index finger. If both are true I think I know what is going on Has nothing to do with intellectual capacity. Rather your mothers bias toward autism.

Just curious about the size difference between ring finger and index finger and what it signifies? is there any relevance or correlation to the size differences and being on the spectrum? I quick search suggest that a longer index shows higher prenatal estrogen in the womb but doesn't seem to suggest anything wrong with it, and the caveat that genetics also plays a role. Just curious is all. Thank you in advance.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The OP stated her I take mother thought she was too promiscuous, when younger, A strong sex drive looking to socially connect to members of the opposite sex poor social skills due to autism may be root cause of some issues.
FInger ratio is linked to testosterone. Either way more going on than meets the eye. My ring finger is significantly longer than my index finger Being a guy harder to act on high sex drive, if woman think you weird Guys would take advantage of lady seeking companionship, who incidentally had high sex drive. An NT lady more likely to be involved in sport. as an outlet. The perceived promiscuous, even if protected may have kick off the process. Watching my buddy lose his ability to be a father really hit home with me Neither he or I knew we were on the spectrum. His girlfriend, most likely also on spectrum knew being a mother was not her thing. The ladies keep him out of loop. sister adopted his son via court challenge, Mother, girlfriend, sister betrayed him.

 

[Jonn]

The length difference is influenced by prenatal hormone exposure, especially the balance of:

• Testosterone
• Estrogen

during early fetal development.

This creates what scientists call the 2D:4D ratio.

• Lower ratio (longer ring finger) → associated with higher prenatal testosterone exposure
• Higher ratio (longer index finger) → associated with higher prenatal estrogen exposure

This doesn’t reflect your adult hormone levels — it’s more like a developmental fingerprint.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The bottom line many NT's think we are incapable of being parents. My buddy was gainfully employed sewing machine mechanic, would have made good single dad I raised two sons with my wife, brother two boys and a daughter with his wife, sister three boys with her Autistic husband.

 

[Tired]

The bottom line many NT's think we are incapable of being parents. My buddy was gainfully employed sewing machine mechanic, would have made good single dad I raised two sons with my wife, brother two boys and a daughter with his wife, sister three boys with her Autistic husband.

Why didnt he adopt a kid?

 

[Judge]

The bottom line many NT's think we are incapable of being parents.

Or perhaps worse still, that they don't want us perpetuating our own kind.

 

[Tired]

Or perhaps worse still, that they don't want us perpetuating our own kind.

That's what my SO told me, that he doesn't feel that he wants to have a kid, because he doesn't want for the kid to go through abuse he went because he is ASD.

 

[Judge]

That's what my SO told me, that he doesn't feel that he wants to have a kid, because he doesn't want for the kid to go through abuse he went because he is ASD.

Sad, but not surprising. I suppose for some they may make such conclusions unilaterally.

For others, it may simply be a matter of social pressure placed upon us. Either reason seems very tragic. In a society with varying issues of tolerance, with some defaulting to interpreting being different as being deficient in some way. Even if and when it isn't true.

An issue that seems so central to this particular thread.