Hi all,
This is my first time posting. I'm a little less than three weeks away from beginning my ASD assessment. As a kid, it was assumed by me, my therapist, and my family that I had Asperger's but I was never officially assessed or diagnosed. While there are many reasons for this assumption, as I grew up, there were certain things about the prevailing "archetype" of an aspie, with which I absolutely did not relate. As a result, I assumed that our initial assumption was wrong.
Recent events in my life made me wonder whether we were right all along and prompted me to get an assessment. When taking online tests, I usually get a "borderline" result but from what I've read, many people acknowledge that there is a lot more nuisance to ASD/Asperger's than when I was growing up.
So I was wondering if anyone related to some of these traits/habits, that may go against the usual ASD profile, or if it's just me?
1) High Empathy and high emotional intelligence- This is the number one reason I decided I did not have ASD. When I was young, I read that Aspies lacked empathy. However, I consider empathy to be one of my strongest traits and I believe that I am also high in emotional intelligence. Though I have, at times, been called "cold/aloof/mean," I feel that I can usually express my empathy effectively.
I've certainly had my share of painful and embarrassing social experiences and I may have learned from them. While I can be uncomfortable and rigid in certain settings, I feel that I pick up on social cues fairly well. I know other aspies who seem much more oblivious when someone is annoyed or angry with them. Given that this is typically seen as a defining trait of aspies, I don't know if I have learned/compensated/masked my lack of innate understanding or if this means I don't have ASD.
2) Empathic embarrassment-One reason I think may sometimes come across as lacking empathy is because I have very high levels of "empathic embarrassment." I only recently learned of this term but it was a light bulb moment. I remember one occasion, in which someone fell off their bike in front of me. I thought it would be more embarrassing for them if I ran up to them and asked if they needed help so I turned the other way and pretended that I didn't see them. Looking back I can see how someone might see this and conclude that I lacked empathy but the truth is, I felt their embarrassment and didn't want to make it worse. This even gets in the way of me enjoying something like a comedy stand-up routine. I often can't watch them because I'm so afraid that the comic will tell a bad joke and be embarrassed.
3) "object blindness/invisibility"-I'm not sure what to call this but I can walk by something for weeks and not notice it. When I'm cleaning my room, I sometimes take photos so I can see what's out of place. Sometimes it is easier for me to notice that random sock on the floor when it's in a photo as opposed to when it's right in front of my face.
This also seems to relate to how I see myself and my body. I sometimes miss the fact that my collar is up, or my zipper is down. I may gain or lose weight and not notice until it's pointed out to me. I've read that aspies tend to be detail-oriented but I'm not sure this is the case for me.
4) Volcanic Temper- People see me as very laidback and mellow. I usually am (at least on the surface). People have actually asked me why I never express anger. That said, I have had several instances of absolutely volcanic eruptions of anger. These occasions have resulted in me screaming, throwing, breaking, etc. It's terrifying for me and everyone involved. I've read about meltdowns and it felt like an epiphany. I've never quite understood why these incidents happened but now realize they may be triggered by sensory or social overload, usually after having bottled up my discomfort for too long.
5) People/Romantic Relationships as "special interest"-Growing up, I've certainly had special interests (US Presidents, Greek Mythology, Roman emperors, gerbils). However, I don't think I've fixated on anything more than my "love interests." This culminated in me being accused of stalking my crush in 8th grade. My obsessiveness over people and romance has dissipated somewhat but I still spend a significant amount of time on dating apps/websites. Despite this, I only recently had my first boyfriend (I'm in my 30s). Has anyone else has special interests that revolved around people or social relationships?
I could go on but in the interest of brevity, I will stop there. I'm curious if anyone else has had experience with one, some, or all of these.
This is my first time posting. I'm a little less than three weeks away from beginning my ASD assessment. As a kid, it was assumed by me, my therapist, and my family that I had Asperger's but I was never officially assessed or diagnosed. While there are many reasons for this assumption, as I grew up, there were certain things about the prevailing "archetype" of an aspie, with which I absolutely did not relate. As a result, I assumed that our initial assumption was wrong.
Recent events in my life made me wonder whether we were right all along and prompted me to get an assessment. When taking online tests, I usually get a "borderline" result but from what I've read, many people acknowledge that there is a lot more nuisance to ASD/Asperger's than when I was growing up.
So I was wondering if anyone related to some of these traits/habits, that may go against the usual ASD profile, or if it's just me?
1) High Empathy and high emotional intelligence- This is the number one reason I decided I did not have ASD. When I was young, I read that Aspies lacked empathy. However, I consider empathy to be one of my strongest traits and I believe that I am also high in emotional intelligence. Though I have, at times, been called "cold/aloof/mean," I feel that I can usually express my empathy effectively.
I've certainly had my share of painful and embarrassing social experiences and I may have learned from them. While I can be uncomfortable and rigid in certain settings, I feel that I pick up on social cues fairly well. I know other aspies who seem much more oblivious when someone is annoyed or angry with them. Given that this is typically seen as a defining trait of aspies, I don't know if I have learned/compensated/masked my lack of innate understanding or if this means I don't have ASD.
2) Empathic embarrassment-One reason I think may sometimes come across as lacking empathy is because I have very high levels of "empathic embarrassment." I only recently learned of this term but it was a light bulb moment. I remember one occasion, in which someone fell off their bike in front of me. I thought it would be more embarrassing for them if I ran up to them and asked if they needed help so I turned the other way and pretended that I didn't see them. Looking back I can see how someone might see this and conclude that I lacked empathy but the truth is, I felt their embarrassment and didn't want to make it worse. This even gets in the way of me enjoying something like a comedy stand-up routine. I often can't watch them because I'm so afraid that the comic will tell a bad joke and be embarrassed.
3) "object blindness/invisibility"-I'm not sure what to call this but I can walk by something for weeks and not notice it. When I'm cleaning my room, I sometimes take photos so I can see what's out of place. Sometimes it is easier for me to notice that random sock on the floor when it's in a photo as opposed to when it's right in front of my face.
This also seems to relate to how I see myself and my body. I sometimes miss the fact that my collar is up, or my zipper is down. I may gain or lose weight and not notice until it's pointed out to me. I've read that aspies tend to be detail-oriented but I'm not sure this is the case for me.
4) Volcanic Temper- People see me as very laidback and mellow. I usually am (at least on the surface). People have actually asked me why I never express anger. That said, I have had several instances of absolutely volcanic eruptions of anger. These occasions have resulted in me screaming, throwing, breaking, etc. It's terrifying for me and everyone involved. I've read about meltdowns and it felt like an epiphany. I've never quite understood why these incidents happened but now realize they may be triggered by sensory or social overload, usually after having bottled up my discomfort for too long.
5) People/Romantic Relationships as "special interest"-Growing up, I've certainly had special interests (US Presidents, Greek Mythology, Roman emperors, gerbils). However, I don't think I've fixated on anything more than my "love interests." This culminated in me being accused of stalking my crush in 8th grade. My obsessiveness over people and romance has dissipated somewhat but I still spend a significant amount of time on dating apps/websites. Despite this, I only recently had my first boyfriend (I'm in my 30s). Has anyone else has special interests that revolved around people or social relationships?
I could go on but in the interest of brevity, I will stop there. I'm curious if anyone else has had experience with one, some, or all of these.
