Datura
Well-Known Member
It's a cliche refrain, but quite germain to my present predicament.
I have been unemployed and in therapy for months now, and I haven't made any progress.
I decided that in order to ease myself back into the work force I would take some volunteer work at the local food bank. It seemed like something I could do. It was low pressure, only a couple of days a week for a few hours at a time, and I would be giving back to the community and engaging with the outside world, rather than spending time in issolation with my own vicious thoughts.
Leading up to my shift today I had a total breakdown. I started crying, then laughing, and experienced this sharp pain between my eyes. I felt like killing myself, and might have actually tried if there were nobody to miss me.
How can I stop these feelings? They are holding me back from doing anything and making me totally dependent on other people. I was actually doing really well for a couple of years there, but now everything has fallen apart and I am just as bad as ever. I feel useless and stupid and I don't know what I am going to say to my parents when they get home. They are going to be so dissapointed in me.
I am so sick of being this whiny, sulking, parasite. I have no good reason for feeling the way I do, no legitimate impedements. I try to tell myself, "You are an intelligent, brave, capable woman. You can do anything!", but it doesn't work.
Nothing seems to work...
I have been unemployed and in therapy for months now, and I haven't made any progress.
I decided that in order to ease myself back into the work force I would take some volunteer work at the local food bank. It seemed like something I could do. It was low pressure, only a couple of days a week for a few hours at a time, and I would be giving back to the community and engaging with the outside world, rather than spending time in issolation with my own vicious thoughts.
Leading up to my shift today I had a total breakdown. I started crying, then laughing, and experienced this sharp pain between my eyes. I felt like killing myself, and might have actually tried if there were nobody to miss me.
How can I stop these feelings? They are holding me back from doing anything and making me totally dependent on other people. I was actually doing really well for a couple of years there, but now everything has fallen apart and I am just as bad as ever. I feel useless and stupid and I don't know what I am going to say to my parents when they get home. They are going to be so dissapointed in me.
I am so sick of being this whiny, sulking, parasite. I have no good reason for feeling the way I do, no legitimate impedements. I try to tell myself, "You are an intelligent, brave, capable woman. You can do anything!", but it doesn't work.
Nothing seems to work...