Cerulean
Well-Known Member
I know that a number of us on here are in various kinds of relationships and I'm curious on how you feel about having kids. Existing parents I'd love your feedback as well.
Personally I used to not want them- they're noisy, messy, and expensive. When I met my husband I started to come around to the idea a bit more, to the point where I *almost* want a couple. We'd both want two, we have almost identical child raising philosophies, and he'd be a fantastic dad. That stuff I'm not worried about. But, as they have a way of doing, things change. Since I've worked now with NT and ASD kids I've come to realize I'd have no idea how to raise an NT kid. I don't even particularly like them. I didn't grow up as one, if my kids aren't on the spectrum I don't think I'd be a very good mom to them. The poor things would probably end up with all my OCD behavior and no idea why! I did bond pretty closely with some of the ASD kids though and I can now understand why people can say they "love kids".
However in the last month my husband has started pushing me towards and old dream of mine to be an occupational therapist, a dream to which has been added a desire to work with special needs people again. So now I'm considering going back to school, and that has me reconsidering this all over again, because he's not exactly young and this would push our kid schedule back at least 3 years. We've done a lot of talking and figuring about how all the things we'd like out of life fit together and have a tentative time to have kids if we're going to. Yes, I'm a schedule person I can't help it! So I'm currently re-evaluating how I feel about the whole having kids thing and weighing it against my own personal dreams.
I'm sorry that was kind of rambly. I know this is something he and I have to figure out, I was just curious how some of my fellow aspies felt about reproducing.
(mods- I thought this probably fit best in the "family" category, feel free to move if it should be somewhere else.)
Personally I used to not want them- they're noisy, messy, and expensive. When I met my husband I started to come around to the idea a bit more, to the point where I *almost* want a couple. We'd both want two, we have almost identical child raising philosophies, and he'd be a fantastic dad. That stuff I'm not worried about. But, as they have a way of doing, things change. Since I've worked now with NT and ASD kids I've come to realize I'd have no idea how to raise an NT kid. I don't even particularly like them. I didn't grow up as one, if my kids aren't on the spectrum I don't think I'd be a very good mom to them. The poor things would probably end up with all my OCD behavior and no idea why! I did bond pretty closely with some of the ASD kids though and I can now understand why people can say they "love kids".
However in the last month my husband has started pushing me towards and old dream of mine to be an occupational therapist, a dream to which has been added a desire to work with special needs people again. So now I'm considering going back to school, and that has me reconsidering this all over again, because he's not exactly young and this would push our kid schedule back at least 3 years. We've done a lot of talking and figuring about how all the things we'd like out of life fit together and have a tentative time to have kids if we're going to. Yes, I'm a schedule person I can't help it! So I'm currently re-evaluating how I feel about the whole having kids thing and weighing it against my own personal dreams.
I'm sorry that was kind of rambly. I know this is something he and I have to figure out, I was just curious how some of my fellow aspies felt about reproducing.
(mods- I thought this probably fit best in the "family" category, feel free to move if it should be somewhere else.)