How Do You Feel About Being Alone?

[Aspychata]

Feel so sad to say but since the quarantine, l am just thrilled with spending alone time because it's mandated by the government. l can now rot in peace and tell men to their face, should they get to close- HEY 6ft - social distancing- yes- l am talking to you , with zero weird stares from the peanut gallery. Pure unadulterated bliss.

 

[Magna]

I'm wondering about whether studies have been done as to the people, myself included, that thrive on alone time and minimal social contact. The prevailing view in society that purports to be universally applicable is that people need contact with others and the damage caused to a person not having it is proportional to the level of contact they don't have. Meaning, a person who has little to no contact with others will be severely damaged.

Think of all the people that try to "help" someone by encouraging or even forcing them to socialize with others and feel grave concern for such people if the people avoid or refuse social contact.

I myself value as much alone time as I can get. I live in a family now so I don't actually live alone. However, I did live alone in the past in different phases of my life and I loved it. I was never bored and on the rare occasions that I felt something that could be considered "lonely", going to the grocery store and being around and among people even if they were total strangers was enough to replenish my need for social contact. It's absolutely true that going out in public and not talking to a soul was effective social contact for me.

 

[wonderingmom]

I'm wondering about whether studies have been done as to the people, myself included, that thrive on alone time and minimal social contact. The prevailing view in society that purports to be universally applicable is that people need contact with others and the damage caused to a person not having it is proportional to the level of contact they don't have. Meaning, a person who has little to no contact with others will be severely damaged.

Think of all the people that try to "help" someone by encouraging or even forcing them to socialize with others and feel grave concern for such people if the people avoid or refuse social contact.

I myself value as much alone time as I can get. I live in a family now so I don't actually live alone. However, I did live alone in the past in different phases of my life and I loved it. I was never bored and on the rare occasions that I felt something that could be considered "lonely", going to the grocery store and being around and among people even if they were total strangers was enough to replenish my need for social contact. It's absolutely true that going out in public and not talking to a soul was effective social contact for me.

I think at least it is generally acknowledged that some people are introverts, and that introverts need less human contact than extroverts; but I guess it’s assumed that introverts’ relationships are on a deeper level than extroverts’ and so the quality makes up for the lack of quantity. So there’s still an assumption that all people depend on some minimal amount of human contact, I guess.

 

[Ella Spell]

I love being alone. I can't think of very many times I've truly wanted company, or wanted to do something social in my life.

 

[Sherlock77]

Another thing... I have personally found Covid shutdowns very difficult, I do draw most of my energy internally (generally introverted) but enjoy the local music and arts scene, and any events related to it disappeared within a week in March... Plus the impact it had on any public gathering, like at my church...

And I live alone

From day one of Covid I have always gone for a daily walk for fresh air and the exercise, but as the weeks went on my loneliness got much worse... Much of my support network evaporated because of lockdown, and the public events of course... And I struggle with social media and video chatting, I really don't like doing video chatting (Zoom), never used it prior to Covid

I'm still very uncertain about the future of the arts scene, which for me relates to loner/loneliness, because that is where I spent a lot of time... I'm rather pessimistic right now about the future of the arts, will it ever come back?

I value face to face talking, even as a mostly introverted person... I discovered that when I start going to a distanced classic car cruise, talking with old friends from the car scene...

 

[Soleil]

I only have a few friends, and I only communicate with them online since they live rather far from me. For the most part that's fine. Email, messenger, and text really help me communicate better than real-time face-to-face talking.

Sometimes I really want to be alone though, especially at work when I do some reading on my breaks.

Then there are times where I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to really communicate either. Just hanging out with someone without talking really appeals to me those times, but that's not really possible online. If you're not saying anything, then you may as well not be there at all.

 

[Jumpback]

I had always thought that I wouldn’t mind being completely alone all the time, but now with being being completely alone all the time with depression and regrets and so on, I am not enjoying it.

 

[unperson]

I ghosted myself for a while, but it can get very unmotivating. Bit of both seems to work.

 

[Aspychata]

I'm wondering about whether studies have been done as to the people, myself included, that thrive on alone time and minimal social contact. The prevailing view in society that purports to be universally applicable is that people need contact with others and the damage caused to a person not having it is proportional to the level of contact they don't have. Meaning, a person who has little to no contact with others will be severely damaged.

Think of all the people that try to "help" someone by encouraging or even forcing them to socialize with others and feel grave concern for such people if the people avoid or refuse social contact.

I myself value as much alone time as I can get. I live in a family now so I don't actually live alone. However, I did live alone in the past in different phases of my life and I loved it. I was never bored and on the rare occasions that I felt something that could be considered "lonely", going to the grocery store and being around and among people even if they were total strangers was enough to replenish my need for social contact. It's absolutely true that going out in public and not talking to a soul was effective social contact for me.

I don't buy into it. l don't believe the hype sold by NT's that we have to social connection. If l really enjoy being with someone, it might happen. But l am not going to have superficial friendships just because that is dictated so that l meet some NT's quota of "healthy". l just say l am a artist and l need creative alone time to write, compose, collaborate,cook, knit, ......

 

[Sherlock77]

I don't buy into it. l don't believe the hype sold by NT's that we have to social connection. If l really enjoy being with someone, it might happen. But l am not going to have superficial friendships just because that is dictated so that l meet some NT's quota of "healthy". l just say l am a artist and l need creative alone time to write, compose, collaborate,cook, knit, ......

Are you an artist by saying that?

The one group of people I know who can weather this the most (in terms of isolation) is full-time artists and writers... I know artists who will "disappear" for months when working on a major creative project even prior to Covid... While most people watched Netflix for months on end, the artists were likely creating a body of work...

 

[Aspychata]

Are you an artist by saying that?

The one group of people I know who can weather this the most (in terms of isolation) is full-time artists and writers... I know artists who will "disappear" for months when working on a major creative project even prior to Covid... While most people watched Netflix for months on end, the artists were likely creating a body of work...

I can say l have dabbled in many different mediums. Because l have no boundaries when it comes to creative outlets. l believe that being a true artist is being able to compose with whatever medium you have.

 

[Ezra]

I think unless you are stranded on a remote island, it is pretty hard to be completely isolated. There are going to be people around. You will still be around them and interact some even if briefly and rarely.

A second question I could ask is; how would you handle being marooned like Tom Hanks in Castaway? Would you need to invent a friend like Wilson?

 

[Aspychata]

We all interact to some extent. But being on the spectrum for me means l am not dependent on my current social connections. Sometimes l have a excellent collection of connections and sometimes it's limited. And l am okay with either. This maybe thru work, volunteer, ballet or whatever. l find that l can connect on many different levels with many different people in my very limited lifetime and l am humbled by all these beautiful connections. The wisdom l have learned is every connection big or small is who we are.

 

[Aspychata]

Some people, wait- many people practice meditative time, l actually practice meditative connections. It's actually my philosophy, l haven't read about it anywhere. l believe more of us do practice this but maybe we are unaware of this. l am just a drop of water in the ocean but my philosophy is to connect with all the other drops of water. It's simplistic, but life can be simplistic if we chose.

 

[Mister Anonymity]

People have their own problems. It's worth noting that socializing comes with its own problems and its own stretch of territory that I'm not willing to traverse. I'd rather stay behind my own border lines. I feel violated by other people when they talk to me. I'd rather keep my mouth shut than answer their questions. It's uncomfortable having to maintain a facade of politeness because I'm always smiling and it hurts my cheekbones. I love to be polite to a small selection of people, but a multitudinal horde of people makes anxious and tires me out. I'd rather stay home and surf the internet or watch TV. Don't get me wrong. I love people, but society is scary. It comes with a multilayered tapestry of rules and social constraints that intimidate me. If I break one rule, I end up committing social or dating suicide. I become a social pariah mocked by society or those in the general vicinity.

 

[Aspychata]

People have their own problems. It's worth noting that socializing comes with its own problems and its own stretch of territory that I'm not willing to traverse. I'd rather stay behind my own border lines. I feel violated by other people when they talk to me. I'd rather keep my mouth shut than answer their questions. It's uncomfortable having to maintain a facade of politeness because I'm always smiling and it hurts my cheekbones. I love to be polite to a small selection of people, but a multitudinal horde of people makes anxious and tires me out. I'd rather stay home and surf the internet or watch TV. Don't get me wrong. I love people, but society is scary. It comes with a multilayered tapestry of rules and social constraints that intimidate me. If I break one rule, I end up committing social or dating suicide. I become a social pariah mocked by society or those in the general vicinity.

I say live dangerously. It's okay to be a social screwup. Who cares? Many of us are social screwups. But l march right out the next day. Because nobody knows. Nobody has held up signs saying we are mocking you today. You commited social or dating suicide. Guess what? Get in line with all the others. We are not a perfect race. l meet with no judgements. Every experience is A LEARNING EXPERIENCE. Just live.☺ Leave regrets behind. It's easier. Thank me later. lol

Spend all your time regretting, OR spend all your time living.......

 

[Emily Write]

I need my space and time alone, lots of it, but I get sad and depressed when I spend too much time alone. I still need some interaction with humans, not just pets, though I do like how pets don't care how you are as along as you're nice.

 

[Giraffes]

I'm in the... love it hate it category, need and want people in my life for validation of existence yet find extensive interaction exhausting and draining, working on a balance still, i also get 'needy' and demanding in friendship as generally it's 'all about me' working on understanding others needs and perceptions and also not 'over thinking' interactions to often.

 

[Jonn]

Feel so sad to say but since the quarantine, l am just thrilled with spending alone time because it's mandated by the government. l can now rot in peace and tell men to their face, should they get to close- HEY 6ft - social distancing- yes- l am talking to you , with zero weird stares from the peanut gallery. Pure unadulterated bliss.

I'm heading towards a hikikomori lifestyle to a great extent. I only need a few social contacts online to make me happy.

 

[Jonn]

I need my space and time alone, lots of it, but I get sad and depressed when I spend too much time alone. I still need some interaction with humans, not just pets, though I do like how pets don't care how you are as along as you're nice.

Pets are great, better than people so often.