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How do I deal with overstimulation when my family don't understand?

YancyyyComet9000

New Member
How do I deal with overstimulation I'd my family don't understand?
Whenever I'm overstimulated I just have to act as normal. My family have picked up on how I don't like physical contact so they often try to hug me or touch my shoulders and on those days its just so much worse. My family, particularly my dad talk loudly just generally and always have the TV loud as my dad is hard of hearing. So I always shut myself away. But I can still hear them from my room as they leave all the doors open and sometimes come in to see me.
I can't wear headphones as I hate the feel of them and they make me feel worse during these times. I am unsure of what else I could do and am wandering if anyone has advice or could simply just share the ways they cope and maybe one of them could potentially help me aswell.
 

Outdated

Well-Known Member
I don't really have any answers for you but a lot of us here will know exactly how you feel, myself included.

I've often wondered about noise cancelling headphones but the trouble is that I'm also a bit of a nervous person and I think not being able to hear anything going on around me would make me feel insecure. I also don't like people touching me very much, double whammy when they want to hug you and they're wearing nylon.

I hope some others have a few tips for you, you have my sympathy.
 

YancyyyComet9000

New Member
I don't really have any answers for you but a lot of us here will know exactly how you feel, myself included.

I've often wondered about noise cancelling headphones but the trouble is that I'm also a bit of a nervous person and I think not being able to hear anything going on around me would make me feel insecure. I also don't like people touching me very much, double whammy when they want to hug you and they're wearing nylon.

I hope some others have a few tips for you, you have my sympathy.
Yes that is also a problem. I don't like not being about to hear as well. Its my I can't wear headphones in public spaces at all.
Also I relate to the nylon thing. Even looking at it makes me feel weird.
 

Progster

Gone sideways to the sun
V.I.P Member
For intrusive noise, I wear earplugs, and isolate myself as much as possible from the source of the noise. You could shut the doors and ask them to keep them shut. Or have some kind of white noise to override the sound of the TV and voices. I have the same problem, and am constantly telling my partner to keep the TV volume down. Earplugs are my saviour; I've managed to find a brand of soft foam ones that don't hurt my ears. I also listen to music to drown out the unwanted noise.
 

Yeshuasdaughter

You know, that one lady we met that one time.
V.I.P Member
Get a cheap set of bulky headphones and even if you're not listening to music, you can wear them, and tuck the cord into your pocket. Everyone will think you are listening to a song, but really, you are just enjoying the silence.

I keep my bedroom as sort of a fortress of solitude. It is very dim in here, not really any decorations on the walls, comfy bed with big fluffy pillows and blankets to hide in.

Only my necessities are out next to my bed. Otherwise, everything is tucked away. It's a very plain room.

When I know I'll be spending time with someone, I prep myself by making sure I don't watch videos, or listen to loud poppy music. I just sort of charge up by having a really mellow, quiet time. Maybe a nap.

My family are very physical. Lots of hugs. And we're very verbal. Lots of questions, and expectations of moral living, and chiding if you haven't been living up to your potential.

So whenever you get a chance, tuck into your quiet place, and charge up by sitting or lying down in the dark. Because you can't change others, just like they can't change you.

Love and forgiveness.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
Can you clear a space in your closet? I just want a submersion tank sometimes. I now just linger in bed and enjoy the silence. Sorry you feel so inundated with sound and touch right now. Maybe buy a kid tent to put over your bed, and zip it up? They have the tents for twin mattress. Maybe they have for a bigger bed.
 
Last edited:

Alexandria

Active Member
How do I deal with overstimulation I'd my family don't understand?
Whenever I'm overstimulated I just have to act as normal. My family have picked up on how I don't like physical contact so they often try to hug me or touch my shoulders and on those days its just so much worse. My family, particularly my dad talk loudly just generally and always have the TV loud as my dad is hard of hearing. So I always shut myself away. But I can still hear them from my room as they leave all the doors open and sometimes come in to see me.
I can't wear headphones as I hate the feel of them and they make me feel worse during these times. I am unsure of what else I could do and am wandering if anyone has advice or could simply just share the ways they cope and maybe one of them could potentially help me aswell.
The most direct route to a solution would be to talk to your family about your sensory issues and needs. Perhaps your dad could use a hearing aid or headphones for listening into the TV channel. Family members can find other ways of displaying affection other than touch - a simple smile, for instance - but they can’t know not to touch and hug you unless you request that they cease from doing so…

Could you perhaps request to be left alone or put a note on your door (please do not disturb) when you feel you need some alone-time?

I think that direct communication is the key here. Do you not feel that your family will respond well to your needs, once you make them aware of your sensory issues?
 

YancyyyComet9000

New Member
The most direct route to a solution would be to talk to your family about your sensory issues and needs. Perhaps your dad could use a hearing aid or headphones for listening into the TV channel. Family members can find other ways of displaying affection other than touch - a simple smile, for instance - but they can’t know not to touch and hug you unless you request that they cease from doing so…

Could you perhaps request to be left alone or put a note on your door (please do not disturb) when you feel you need some alone-time?

I think that direct communication is the key here. Do you not feel that your family will respond well to your needs, once you make them aware of your sensory issues?
I'm not entirely sure. As when I mentioned I don't like physical contact they just did in more to intentionally annoy me.
The problem is more so they don't really take any of it seriously, because I'm bad at communicating exactly what I mean, so they just think I don't like it, like the stereotypical teenager that doesn't like hugs.
I have never been comfortable talking about anything with my parents so I feel pretty distanced from them. So I have no idea how I'm supposed to talk to them, since I haven't learned how to.
I also don't have the option to tell them in text forms as neither own a smartphone
 

Streetwise

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
How do I deal with overstimulation I'd my family don't understand?
Whenever I'm overstimulated I just have to act as normal. My family have picked up on how I don't like physical contact so they often try to hug me or touch my shoulders and on those days its just so much worse. My family, particularly my dad talk loudly just generally and always have the TV loud as my dad is hard of hearing. So I always shut myself away. But I can still hear them from my room as they leave all the doors open and sometimes come in to see me.
I can't wear headphones as I hate the feel of them and they make me feel worse during these times. I am unsure of what else I could do and am wandering if anyone has advice or could simply just share the ways they cope and maybe one of them could potentially help me aswell.
big! words !on a screen or paper or card , that they can't! not see! and stand your ground, say no! if you mean no, don't be a people pleaser ,it doesn't work, tried for over 30 years, you end up a basket case
 

Knower of nothing

Well-Known Member
I'm not entirely sure. As when I mentioned I don't like physical contact they just did in more to intentionally annoy me.
The problem is more so they don't really take any of it seriously, because I'm bad at communicating exactly what I mean, so they just think I don't like it, like the stereotypical teenager that doesn't like hugs.
I have never been comfortable talking about anything with my parents so I feel pretty distanced from them. So I have no idea how I'm supposed to talk to them, since I haven't learned how to.
I also don't have the option to tell them in text forms as neither own a smartphone
I've definitely been here. I didn't communicate with my family whatsoever for a long time and am only recently learning to do so with slightly less discomfort.
It took until severe reactions from me to be left alone and the realization it was in fact a big deal. I hope it won't have to come to that. You have to do your best to set some boundaries somehow.
 

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