Fear of people, and unemployment

[Flammie91]

I deleted my original description because I got cold feet due to the subject matter, but basically I attribute a lot of ill will to other people and I think its had an effect on my professional life, have any of you had this experience?

 

[Suzanne]

I do get you very much. I have chronic social phobia, where it even takes courage and mental preparation to just go a few seconds from my home, to bins. I go each monday, because there are virtually no one about and often, if I see someone, I won't go out and the rubbish is just sitting on the table in our verandah and sometimes will beg hubby to get rid of it.

When I have been hurt by a human being, I feel like you, that every human being is out to get me and that they are full of evil and like you, I have had some nasty experiences that makes me just want to give up on humanity.

I have suffered great embarrassment with having social anxiety, until recently when someone reasoned with me and that took a little bit of the embarrassment away and then found that someone I never would have guessed as social anxiety, said that he does have it and some days, he cannot get out of the front door and what he does, is gives himself permission to get out of a situation that is causing him issues.

I hate strange places. But once they become familiar to me, I can go on my own, but I still hearing every footstep I take; my breathing and heart beat.

Social anxiety is so very lonely, because there are so many things I would love to do, but unable to do them and so, I am hoping to get a formal diagnosis soon and perhaps get some financial aid, which I do not feel embarrassed about, because I am not faking anything and I want to work and can work; just need to get there and back again.

Do you have any support system going ie a sympathetic person who will accompany you places?

 

[WereBear]

Our present time has never been better for people who wish to be employed without a lot of personal interaction. Can you pursue employment that allows for distance, like through the computer?

 

[Flammie91]

I do get you very much. I have chronic social phobia, where it even takes courage and mental preparation to just go a few seconds from my home, to bins. I go each monday, because there are virtually no one about and often, if I see someone, I won't go out and the rubbish is just sitting on the table in our verandah and sometimes will beg hubby to get rid of it.

When I have been hurt by a human being, I feel like you, that every human being is out to get me and that they are full of evil and like you, I have had some nasty experiences that makes me just want to give up on humanity.

I have suffered great embarrassment with having social anxiety, until recently when someone reasoned with me and that took a little bit of the embarrassment away and then found that someone I never would have guessed as social anxiety, said that he does have it and some days, he cannot get out of the front door and what he does, is gives himself permission to get out of a situation that is causing him issues.

I hate strange places. But once they become familiar to me, I can go on my own, but I still hearing every footstep I take; my breathing and heart beat.

Social anxiety is so very lonely, because there are so many things I would love to do, but unable to do them and so, I am hoping to get a formal diagnosis soon and perhaps get some financial aid, which I do not feel embarrassed about, because I am not faking anything and I want to work and can work; just need to get there and back again.

Do you have any support system going ie a sympathetic person who will accompany you places?

I wouldnt say my problem is anxiety so much as it is fear, if that makes any sense, people with anxiety dont generally fear being beaten, or framed for something, or unjustly arrested, or being robbed when they go out. I dont really have an ongoing support, my family arent very supportive and they all have bad tempers, im seeing a case manager regularly but hes frequently absent and to be honest theres not a lot that he really does, hell give me some very basic and vague directions when i go to him with a problem, thats it, and hes always bringing up me being terminated from the program for some reason, like because i want to work on another issue because something came up in my personal life. Honestly it seems like people are just generally incompetent and have no patience for me at all, its hard to keep going when i dont even know what im doing to begin with.

 

[Flammie91]

Our present time has never been better for people who wish to be employed without a lot of personal interaction. Can you pursue employment that allows for distance, like through the computer?

That may be so for a few individuals who work from home, but most jobs today are service based. I dont really know a lot about computers, im not that great with them, i even struggle with how to use this forum a lot of the time. Lol

 

[wadorama]

I believe I have a crippling social phobia and its preventing me from looking for work, I am unemployed and have been so for the past three and a half years. Its not that I cant interact with people (although I am accident prone with regards to social sotuations) but Im afraid of what they will say or do to me, this has kinda developed over time after a series of negative experiences, at work and otherwise. I am diagnosed with autism but I have done research and I can relate to a lot of the descriptions for some personality disorders, especially cluster A, like schizoid and schizotypal. I have been tested for schizophrenia in the past when I began to have troubles with psychosis but the evidence was inconclusive. My fear is so deep rooted that whenever I see a human in person or in a picture I have this negative gut reaction, I think to myself this person is evil, this person will hurt me or try to ruin me if I interact with them.. Ive just come to assocuate the human form with evil. When I interact with people the way they act seems to give me an impression that they are malicious and theyre conspiring against me. I have thought of looking for work at times and have even done up resumes and began the application process with several different businesses and government employment services but I get a bad feeling about it all the time and back out of it. Does anyone relate to this? What should I do? Ive tried taking medication in the past but none of it works

right there with ya man and effin huge. been out of work 2+ years and clench up tight at the thought of going back, even though the cash and forced socialization might be "good for me". full-on damage control mode here so can't offer much on what to do, but my results on the meds were awful. hunker down, suffer, and wait for a random act of fate?

 

[WereBear]

That may be so for a few individuals who work from home, but most jobs today are service based. I dont really know a lot about computers, im not that great with them, i even struggle with how to use this forum a lot of the time. Lol

Oh, I know, my job had a lot of service elements until I got diagnosed and negotiated a change.

I'm just saying we are different and so is our path to making a living.

 

[Flammie91]

Oh, I know, my job had a lot of service elements until I got diagnosed and negotiated a change.

I'm just saying we are different and so is our path to making a living.

Some of us can manage easier than others, I guess im an acquired taste that not everyone can do. I dont have a lot of insight into why things happen the way they do. Your lucky your employers were willing to come to a compromise. :}

 

[Lula1989]

I have been having a lot of difficulty at work with relationships.. not the work I am doing, just with my supervisor. It makes me want to run and hide. If my husband and I can get enough rental properties to replace my salary I will be quitting the workforce, or going part time. I can't handle the pressures (not sure it is from others, or the pressure I create in my head). I am an executive assistant and know of online assistants. That may be an option for me in the future.

Note that I felt socially able to deal with a job until now. But I do get run down so easily. It's exhausting, hence the point of eventually going part time or quitting to do volunteer work

 

[Suzanne]

I wouldnt say my problem is anxiety so much as it is fear, if that makes any sense, people with anxiety dont generally fear being beaten, or framed for something, or unjustly arrested, or being robbed when they go out. I dont really have an ongoing support, my family arent very supportive and they all have bad tempers, im seeing a case manager regularly but hes frequently absent and to be honest theres not a lot that he really does, hell give me some very basic and vague directions when i go to him with a problem, thats it, and hes always bringing up me being terminated from the program for some reason, like because i want to work on another issue because something came up in my personal life. Honestly it seems like people are just generally incompetent and have no patience for me at all, its hard to keep going when i dont even know what im doing to begin with.

It does make sense, actually, because I do not get anxious when I have to go out; it is literally panic ie fear and of people. As long as I know that I am the only one outside, I could do all kinds of things. Now, realistically, I know that there are many really nice people, but when I feel meligned, it is a struggle to balance that out.

I also fully understand what you mean regarding the lack of support. When I was in my own country (uk) and in my younger days, I was trying to get help with social anxiety and was accused outright of faking it and the woman therapist was doing a comparison with me alongside those who are drug addicts and drinkers and smokers and did not care about their appearance. I came up very short and so the conclusion was; I want to think I have this issue, so that I can get out of working. I did try to argue, but she kept "lashing" out with: everyone gets a little such and such.

Had an occasion when this other female therapist would just stare at me and say absolutely nothing and when she came out with: do you like me ( in a sexual way)? I could not help but burst out laughing and said: I feel unnerved by you just staring at me and you know something, if you think that is going to get a reaction, too right you are and this is what I am going to do: I got up and said: thank you, but no thanks and walked out.

I had one councellor, who happened to be the very best of them all and even if there was no comparision, she came tops. She NEVER looked at her watch and say: time is up. She even gave me her home phone number ( I never phoned it). I would say: my time is coming up and I really do not want to be in a state and have to go and she would say: don't worry about it; I have no other clients to see or the person cancelled and so, please continue.

There was one thing that I learned from her. She said to me: who do you think has a better immune system? You or me? I looked at her and said with defiance: you of course and she came back with: actually, no, Suzanne, you have the better immune system than me! I was shocked and protested that in actual fact, she was condoning how I was raised! I know it appears that way, but actually what I am trying to get you to understand, is to take something positive out of a dreadful situation. It took me to understand the immune system, to get the point.

Now, I am going to throw something out here, with great trepidation, but although I am not a trained psychologist, I am told that I might as well be, so I am happy to offer my services to you, if you want to give me a try. No insult taken if you rather not. ( naturally free of charge lol)

 

[Gracey]

When I recall situations and environments I've been in in the workplace it triggers an involuntary fight or flight response. It feels like trauma. I panic when I imagine myself getting back into that sort of environment. (Mainly service, I don't have a computer, I don't understand them)

And yet, generating no income is one huge guilt trip I'm frantically trying to change.

Between a rock and a hard place.

I'm not good with feeling stuck and not moving forward.

I'll find a solution, of that I'm quite certain, I just don't know what that is at the moment.

 

[wadorama]

..I'll find a solution, of that I'm quite certain, I just don't know what that is at the moment.

yup, you likely will. you seem bright enough and properly motivated. please share when you do so i can copy it. ;o)

 

[ftfipps]

I can relate to where you said you have "irrational" fear of being robbed/mugged.You tense up when you have to go out in a world full of mostly stupid people. You are in the right place. Here is my advise. Can you go to school? How are you in school? If you have autism, unless you have a lot of money, you probably shouldn't associate with a lot of people anyway. Rich people are far more understanding in my experience when it comes to autism. I (sort of) know a guy who has autism serious enough that he was diagnosed when he was a youngster.He had a family that (I assume) is rich because he got into Purdue university and learned how to be a programmer and now the man drives a Mercedes and has a big house in a rich part of town.