Family Therapist is ruining my life

[puzzlingbill]

Ahhh! Found it!

 

[Autistamatic]

HA! Christina Applegate
We've been watching Married With Children for the past few months - never saw it first time around.

 

[Crossbreed]

I will check out the jerks web page now.

What web page? I haven't seen a link anywhere in this thread.

 

[Autistamatic]

What web page? I haven't seen a link anywhere in this thread.

It was in the OP. I've quoted the relevant bit below to save you backtracking
The link is where it says "home"

This is his website: Home, but outside of it and a few sites that seem to be the exact same thing, I can't actually find any information on him or this service.

 

[Crossbreed]

Yikes! It looks like "jock" therapy for nerds...

 

[novart]

Thank you so much for the responses. Sorry I've been so late to coming back to the thread, I'm so used to negative responses to these issues from people in authority I had a hard time coming back for fear of how wrong I'd be told I was. Imagine my shock when I saw this was featured! After reading your responses I started crying a little bit, the good type of crying. I gotta take another little break to get to responding to you all and pursuing your suggestions, thank you so much!

 

[puzzlingbill]

Thank you so much for the responses. Sorry I've been so late to coming back to the thread, I'm so used to negative responses to these issues from people in authority I had a hard time coming back for fear of how wrong I'd be told I was. Imagine my shock when I saw this was featured! After reading your responses I started crying a little bit, the good type of crying. I gotta take another little break to get to responding to you all and pursuing your suggestions, thank you so much!

You asked earlier what I meant when I said I've made more progress in the last 2 years (since figuring out the HFA thing) than in the previous 65. If it would be useful, I could send you a PM that you could show your parents, to explain this in more detail. When you said that your diagnosis changes everything, I understood immediately, because that's the reaction I had. I also know that it might be hard for your parents to understand the significance of this. The key thing for me is that it's no longer hopeless -- I have things to work on.

It's vitally important that you have help learning how to deal with the unique challenges of your autism. Having someone yelling at you to stop being different is never going to help.

 

[oregano]

For all of you who don't know, "MSW" means a Master's Degree in Social Work. Most MSW degree holders do things like working for a local child or adult "protective services" agency, going around in response to complaints of abuse or neglect and evaluating the situation, then reporting back to the supervisors at the main HQ for further action. The degree is a really costly proposition, and the pay is very low, since a lot of it is working for local government, which in most of the US is vastly underfunded.

It looks like this guy realized that he could make more money as a "life coach". America is full of "life coach" and "spiritual coach" douchebags, there is no regulatory agency for it and thus anybody can hang out a sign and rake in the cash. A social work degree does NOT qualify the holder as a therapist.

That website is full of psychobabble and stuff about his "system" which looks like it's based on the 12 Step Alcoholics Anonymous format. If somebody doesn't fit into his system, it's their fault and they get trashed by this guy. And his "team" looks like a bunch of jocks who took easy classes in college because their rich parents were paying the bills and thus they could party all the time.

I can't believe that this loser is the best guy your parents could find in a city of 5 million people or so. We need to be our own advocates unfortunately, and even worse is that autism by definition makes that nearly impossible for a lot of us. America is the type of society where you're simply thrown into the deep end of the pool and laughed at as you thrash around trying to swim.

 

[Fino]

If somebody is a social worker, does that automatically mean their degree is in Social Work?

 

[Autistamatic]

If somebody is a social worker, does that automatically mean their degree is in Social Work?

I can't speak for anywhere else but I can speak for the UK because my wife is a degree qualified Social Worker. To be hired as a Social Worker here now you have to get a degree in it first, but there are still some older people still working in the system who do not have the relevant qualification. Prior to Social Work becoming a degree in it's own right the recommended course was a four year degree in Social Policy which included the Diploma of Social Work - the Diploma was the necessary qualification which could be obtained via a two year course on it's own. This was later amended so that the diploma course was modified and extended to a full degree course as a necessary prerequisite of the job which is where we are now.
In the UK to legally call yourself a Social Worker and be employed in the field you must either be qualified or have been in the job for thirty years or more, in which case your experience should be of equal value.
If anybody has similar info regarding the US, I (and my wife) would be interested.
Of note - In the classic Star Trek episode "The City on The Edge of Forever", the character of Edith Keeler, played by Joan Collins, ran a soup kitchen out of a Christian Mission in pre-war New York. The character was, and still is described as a Social Worker, so our understanding of the term has clearly evolved even since the late 60s when that episode was made.

 

[novart]

You asked earlier what I meant when I said I've made more progress in the last 2 years (since figuring out the HFA thing) than in the previous 65. If it would be useful, I could send you a PM that you could show your parents, to explain this in more detail. When you said that your diagnosis changes everything, I understood immediately, because that's the reaction I had. I also know that it might be hard for your parents to understand the significance of this. The key thing for me is that it's no longer hopeless -- I have things to work on.

It's vitally important that you have help learning how to deal with the unique challenges of your autism. Having someone yelling at you to stop being different is never going to help.

Would very much appreciate a pm! thank you

 

[novart]

Ahhh! Found it!

My favorite childhood comedians: Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, and Robin Williams.

 

[Fino]

If anybody has similar info regarding the US, I (and my wife) would be interested.
Of note - In the classic Star Trek episode "The City on The Edge of Forever", the character of Edith Keeler, played by Joan Collins, ran a soup kitchen out of a Christian Mission in pre-war New York. The character was, and still is described as a Social Worker, so our understanding of the term has clearly evolved even since the late 60s when that episode was made.

"A Bachelor of Social Work is usually the minimum educational requirement for beginning your career as a social worker. Some entry-level positions may also accept candidates with a bachelor's degree in psychology, sociology, or other related fields.

• Undergraduate Social Work Education: States require that social workers hold a Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) from a school approved by the Council on Social Work Education (CSWE) External link ."

I'm in the US, and here's what a quick search got me. The reason I asked in the first place is because, if I remember right, my therapist as a kid was a social worker, so I was just curious. So apparently she has a bachelor's in social work.

 

[Tom]

Well, if you want to impress your new best mentor buddy, the French Foreign Legion is still in business.

 

[Ylva]

Lately the tactic has been to praise me, then immediately get away with something (eg: being loud around me). Isn't this what ABA training is?

Sounds like manipulation, at any rate. ABAuse therapists would gladly add it to their repertoire.

"Sure, [my name]. Smoking weed, sleeping all day, leaving the house for a couple of minutes, playing video games and watching television all on your parents dime? And they are narcissist? Everyone is. Bottom line...earn your way through life and stop blaming your parents and making excuses. Everyone has challenges. Everyone."

Sounds like a Doctor Phil wannabe. Does he even have a degree? I know it's possible to have one and still suck at the job, but come on.

My usual recommendations based on personal experience when it comes to therapy are mindfulness meditation and reading books. My specific advice to you would be to avoid telling your parents and their wannabe about things you do or are trying to do, as they will most likely just use that information against you.

 

[novart]

Is there anyway you can move out of your parents house? Perhaps HUD? A roommate?

I've always felt fairly uncomfortable elsewhere. Not that my parents don't make me uncomfortable, but we usually have a fair amount of room to ourselves and I've viewed it as the less bad option, for right or wrong.

 

[novart]

What you can do is press the delete/ignore button on this internet scammer. What ever happened to the legitimate professional "previous guy my parents had me see"? Your parents neglected helping you with this for 30 years. Then they finally got off their bottoms to start parenting and found someone qualified to help who was doing a good job. One year is not enough to resolve issues 3 decades in the making. Your whole family needs to go back to him and do what works to address the diagnosis and make appropriate adjustments so you can have a future, instead of coping out playing the blame game with an idiot who doesn't know the first thing about your condition, your situation or family therapy in general.

I actually had a lot of problems with the previous guy, mainly that his service was directed toward children. He was just supposed to be someone I saw - which I did because it kept my parents off my back a bit. I only found out about the diagnosis because my parents, in an email discussion with family were comparing me to my very disabled cousin. He can communicate but he's very slow and clearly mentally disabled from any distance. So not only was it very back-handed in how I found out but I couldn't even believe that I could be anything like my cousin. It was all extremely hurtful. He did a lot of simply siding with my parents, and I could tell he had no idea what life was like for a newly diagnosed adult, so I stopped seeing him.

After that I put my all into proving myself - I moved out while working, went to school, etc and after some relatively great accomplishments (losing my virginity for one) couldn't avoid seeing exactly what my weaknesses were as I burned out and accepted that diagnosis as undeniable. I've been regaining my sense of self since then, and I'm relatively comfortable with that now. But Jesus, compared to this guy now my last guy was amazing.

Sorry if my explanations are disjointed or incomplete, I seem to do that.

 

[novart]

Maybe he thinks by showing you the "reality" of the situation, you'll be overcome with shame and then want nothing more to do everything they want you to do make it right.

Now your family therapist is ruining MY life!

I'm kidding, but I am sleeping thirteen minutes later than I would have if he wasn't alive.

I should feel shame - all these luxeries available to me like tv, weed, and video games and all I want out of life is earned satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment.

 

[novart]

Oh dear. This shows more about your parents than that man. Anyone who would fall for this man and take his advice has serious issues of their own. Are they being recruited by any cults lately?

Wow. I can't tell you what to do because they are desperate parents being taken for a ride. Maybe share your weed with them and enjoy each other's company for a little while before the curtain falls?

I'd rather be Nero fiddling while Rome burned than simply have the curtain fall. Metaphorically speaking of course, but I don't want my shot at life to end on a whimper.

 

[novart]

Eek...
His interests are aligned with getting you working and being a tax payer, not your personal health. (May or may not be the case, this is just based on the one selected quote you posted here)

Checked out the site and looks more like a life coach not a professional therapist.

If weed helps you stick with that. Refuse to see him and hand pick your own therapist? Since your parents got to him first he already has a skewed perception of you. Confirmation biases. Doesn't seem professional enough to override or recognize his own biases.

I "fell in love" with Marijuana when I was living pretty close to the desert and had to deal with heat getting up into the 100s. I remembered how "cool" it made me feel. Not my perception of myself - but my actual skin. It felt like it lifted a tremendous burden off of my senses, something I only connect to autism now. I know not to give it up for a person like that because it was the only thing in all those years that ever addressed and helped the issues I was facing. I feel defensive over it against those who paid my pain no mind.