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Do you love yourself better or others?

I definitely love my dogs more than I love myself, but love is not something I feel towards other people often.

There are people who I deeply care for and am very empathetic and emotional towards, but I’m not exactly demonstrative of affection. I show care in other ways.
 
In my case, I would say I care about and respect myself and others the same. I can just as easily see the good, neutral and negatives in myself than others. Whereas some traits, skills or abilities I have I wish others had, there are certain things others have I value and wish I had. My self esteem for myself is not too high or low, but healthy levels, which means to me I do not love myself or others more or less.
 
Definitely others, those being my immediate family both furry and two legged. I'm very protective, myself however...that has always been an issue and one I'm currently working on. I need to like first there lol.
 
1. Animals. They are made to be kind and love unconditionally
2. Others as long as they are nice people. Obviously no one who has deliberately done horrible things to other people or animals in their life with no regret.
3. Then myself I guess.
 
I have trouble understanding emotions to such a degree that I've come up with this handy "chart":

Laughing or smiling + feeling neutral or good in my chest = Happy
Crying + weird feeling in chest = Sad
Want to destroy something or yell + weird feeling in chest = Angry

Anything else becomes too vague to pinpoint an exact emotion, so the idea of Love is foreign to me.

Sure I'd run into a burning building to save my cat, but I would also do that with my computer. Can you love an inanimate object?

There are people I, for whatever reason, am more lenient with, who can do stuff that would otherwise make me angry or annoyed (I think). Why that happens, I don't know. But the same people are also more important in my eyes. Worth more, than anyone else. If that makes sense. Even more than me.
 
AspieGamer91 said:
There are people I, for whatever reason, am more lenient with, who can do stuff that would otherwise make me angry or annoyed (I think). Why that happens, I don't know. But the same people are also more important in my eyes. Worth more, than anyone else. If that makes sense. Even more than me.
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Thats kind of how I describe love. But yes I'd go back in for my computer too after my animals lol they always come first, used to make my kid so mad, she was equal to them, I didn't get the jealousy she felt.
 
I try to strike a balance. In the past, disliking who/what I was left me mentally unbalanced. Slowly recovering from that, meeting a kind, accepting woman, my spouse, led me to a care and concern for her well being and both an emotional and physical love for her. In our intimacies I am excited by her pleasure and love myself for being an agent of that pleasure.
 
I see a difference, but it is just my own opinion.

For myself, I have a healthy self preservation instinct, not what I would call love which I see as affection, attachment, etc. I used to think that people who actually loved themselves (ie looked in the mirror longingly) as Narcissists. But the meaning of the word seems to have changed or more likely I never understood it correctly in the first place.

What I do see as love I feel towards those closest to me, including pets.

Everyone else? Well I am not sure. It doesn't feel like actual love. I think at best I can feel a strong empathy in certain situations.
 
I’m unsure if I’ve felt the chemical compound called “love.” If I did I love myself more than others that’s easy. Love to me is dutiful, loyal, trust and words consistently meet actions.
 
Love and like are more natural feelings than dislike and hate, so it's hard to describe love sometimes. When you like someone (like a friend or a colleague) you just automatically finding yourself liking them without really thinking about it. If you love someone (not a spouse but a relative) you don't always think about that either. They're just people in your life that you'd hate to lose.
But disliking and hating people uses up more energy and you're generally more aware if you hate or dislike someone, whether it's a relative, friend, colleague, whatever. You consciously feel hate, whereas love and like comes more from the heart.
Love towards a spouse is more consciously felt but with no energy, if you truly love each other. It's felt naturally too of course but I mean you're more aware of how you love your spouse and you could physically feel yourself falling in love at one point.
 
One might query as to why it has to be either/or, or if in actuality it is a spectrum like much the human existence. Explain this exactly, define this concisely might work with measurable metrics, but people are in a continuous state of grown and/or regression on physical, intellectual, and emotional levels.

There is no logic in the approach, thusly I can only say that it is an adaptive reality determined on an contextual basis, starting with do no harm. But I am no martyr nor am I above claiming occasional selfish tendencies (clear boundaries). Too often self awareness is mistaken for selfishness (narcissistic tendencies).

Either/or scenarios can be problematic simply because there is no fast or easy answer.

How do you compare the emotions you feel for a beloved pet to those of a dutifully, but emotional distant parent doing their best to meet a family's physical needs? The two are not congruent to comparison because of their lived context.
 
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Luca said:
I definitely love my dogs more than I love myself, but love is not something I feel towards other people often.

There are people who I deeply care for and am very empathetic and emotional towards, but I’m not exactly demonstrative of affection. I show care in other ways.
Click to expand...
Wow, I'm similar ^^ Still working on body language and facial expression, not to mention drawing :)
 
Love for myself vs. others? Apples & oranges.

Love for myself amounts more to care & maintenance. I do not see myself as a recipient of my own enhanced love. I am certainly a recipient of God's love since He washed my sins away. (He loved me before that, but that stood in the way of my receiving it.)
My love for others includes their physical well-being, but it targets their souls.
My ability to offer such focused love depends on my depth of relationship with them.
I Am Loved, Bill Gaither Trio (1979)
 
Apples and oranges for me, too. Love for others is about empathy and attachment. Love for self is about preservation and fostering confidence in my own humanity.
 
1ForAll said:
In my case, I would say I care about and respect myself and others the same. I can just as easily see the good, neutral and negatives in myself than others. Whereas some traits, skills or abilities I have I wish others had, there are certain things others have I value and wish I had. My self esteem for myself is not too high or low, but healthy levels, which means to me I do not love myself or others more or less.
Click to expand...
I often see negative in others and struggle to understand their struggles.
But it does not mean I do not see negatives in myself as well but I like to say...
I am enough
 
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