Do you know if a fear of praise is a typically ND thing?

[Jumpback]

It's disgusting. I remember I stopped drawing although I loved it because my mother always invaded my personal space to screech her praises at the top of her lungs.

This is so sad, I am sorry

 

[unperson]

It's that suspicious NT gift-giving culture, you never know what they're up to with their presents for you!

 

[risootser]

When you know your flaws and try to work around them it is not very nice when someone just tells to forget your inner battles. Lots of time has been invested in it. Similarly calling things utter sh*t is misunderstanding how development works. It is multifaceted. Just because it didn't give returns does not mean it was waste. You learned something new.

 

[GrownupGirl]

As a kid I loved all the praise and positive attention I got for being good at drawing and reading. Too bad it was wrong of adults to say anything that made me feel "special". At least most of it stopped when I became a horrible adult.

 

[Ylva]

As a kid I loved all the praise and positive attention I got for being good at drawing and reading. Too bad it was wrong of adults to say anything that made me feel "special".

Why was it wrong?

 

[Warshipsfan1]

I had a slight feeling like this in high school. Basically I got an award for some achievement and was asked to present at some assembly held after school at night.

I did not want to have attention drawn to myself as I was trying to hide from the public eye...was awful

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

I think the reason why we dislike praise is the fear our emotional response will not be appropriate. Without masking, my response would be too strong, making me look vain. With masking, it may be too little.

 

[IrishArcher]

I hate receiving compliments and often dislike being thanked as well, for similar reasons. Either I don't feel like whatever I did was a big deal and I don't want people to make a scene of it, or I'm already aware that what I did was good and I'm not particularly moved by people's comments because they don't surprise me. I don't know how to respond in a way that seems genuine and not arrogant (I find this especially difficult over text because different punctuation can signal various levels of enthusiasm and I always second-guess myself). I feel obligated to return a compliment with one of my own just so that I don't feel like all the attention is on me (I tend to worry that accepting something nice and not reciprocating will come off as selfish or narcissistic), but it's not always easy to come up with one on the spot. If I can't think of one, I usually go with a "Thanks, but..." and then make a self-deprecating joke to release the tension that I feel. My two options seem to be either brush it off or try to force enthusiasm, and one might seem rude while the other feels awkward, so I can't win. This is one of the major reasons I don't like showing people things that I am proud of, because I don't want criticism and I don't want compliments so it's really a lose-lose situation.

 

[hatfullofrain]

I think I don't like compliments because it makes me suspicious.

Maybe I have attachment issues. I feel like if I accept the compliment I'm accepting friendship and I'd rather keep people at arms length.

 

[PastelPetals]

When I was a small child if I did something right or good and my mom would compliment me I would immediately do what she didn't want me to do. For example if I got into my car seat and she complimented me I would start kicking and screaming. I used to think people complimenting me ment that I had to it perfectly forever. Like if they noticed it was just another thing I had to do.

Now I what what compliments really mean and while they make me uncomfortable I just give a smile and say thank you and hopefully we both move on.