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Featured Do you know if a fear of praise is a typically ND thing?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Tuikku, May 18, 2020.

  1. Jumpback

    Jumpback Active Member

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    This is so sad, I am sorry
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member

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    It's that suspicious NT gift-giving culture, you never know what they're up to with their presents for you!
     
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    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. risootser

    risootser Active Member

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    When you know your flaws and try to work around them it is not very nice when someone just tells to forget your inner battles. Lots of time has been invested in it. Similarly calling things utter sh*t is misunderstanding how development works. It is multifaceted. Just because it didn't give returns does not mean it was waste. You learned something new.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2020
  4. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

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    As a kid I loved all the praise and positive attention I got for being good at drawing and reading. Too bad it was wrong of adults to say anything that made me feel "special". At least most of it stopped when I became a horrible adult.:imp:
     
  5. Ylva

    Ylva Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Why was it wrong?
     
  6. Warshipsfan1

    Warshipsfan1 Active Member

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    I had a slight feeling like this in high school. Basically I got an award for some achievement and was asked to present at some assembly held after school at night.

    I did not want to have attention drawn to myself as I was trying to hide from the public eye...was awful
     
  7. MyLifeAsAnAspie

    MyLifeAsAnAspie New Member

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    I think the reason why we dislike praise is the fear our emotional response will not be appropriate. Without masking, my response would be too strong, making me look vain. With masking, it may be too little.
     
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  8. IrishArcher

    IrishArcher New Member

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    I hate receiving compliments and often dislike being thanked as well, for similar reasons. Either I don't feel like whatever I did was a big deal and I don't want people to make a scene of it, or I'm already aware that what I did was good and I'm not particularly moved by people's comments because they don't surprise me. I don't know how to respond in a way that seems genuine and not arrogant (I find this especially difficult over text because different punctuation can signal various levels of enthusiasm and I always second-guess myself). I feel obligated to return a compliment with one of my own just so that I don't feel like all the attention is on me (I tend to worry that accepting something nice and not reciprocating will come off as selfish or narcissistic), but it's not always easy to come up with one on the spot. If I can't think of one, I usually go with a "Thanks, but..." and then make a self-deprecating joke to release the tension that I feel. My two options seem to be either brush it off or try to force enthusiasm, and one might seem rude while the other feels awkward, so I can't win. This is one of the major reasons I don't like showing people things that I am proud of, because I don't want criticism and I don't want compliments so it's really a lose-lose situation.