crying

[tachyon]

I only cry when alone. Never when anybody can see. Learned that from a very young age.
Tears arrive when emotions 'crash' the boring tea-party that exists most of the time.
Sometimes sad, sometimes joyous, always exquisite.

 

[Flinty]

Which creates a distinct separation of effect between A: and B:

it's a tricky one, I think i would choose A as I enjoy the sensation of happiness and if there is an equal measure of happy and sad then i would know sadness would pass.
I think sadness is as important as happiness, so yep I choo choo choose A

I cannot decide. I know which one is expected of me, but the idea of having a significant amount of happiness has some appeal.

 

[tree]

Pinocchio becomes a real boy, the Grinch learns the meaning of Christmas,
old Yeller dies & his spirit lives on.

OR

"It doesn't get happy, it doesn't get sad,
it doesn't laugh at your jokes. It just runs programs..."
Short Circuit, 1985

There are appealing points to both approaches.
But, I do often think how much I'd enjoy being, not a robot or computer,
actually the program. A program that was fully functional.

And that is a contradiction, because a program, presumably
would not be self-aware or capable of 'enjoyment.' Probably I don't know
enough to differentiate between being the machine running the program
and being the program.

 

[watersprite]

Our spark of life seems to lie in a thin skin or interface between the two, tree.

 

[illud]

I always found very difficult to cry, for some reason I can't explain myself why.
I don't remember crying much when I was a kid, not out of frustration, joy or other. Not in public at least.
Very, very, very rarely I end crying. I think the last time I did was when I was geting very frustrated when I was taking my driving lessons, I ended crying at the end. The instructor didn't expect that. I felt very embarrassed afterwards, mostly because I had lost my normally calm temper and because I was afraid he thought it was just a trick to get some approval from him or something -because some people do that-.
When I heartly laugh sometimes I end crying, which is a feeling that I like, but only happens when I'm very very comfortable with the people around me.
I remember once when my grandpa died, I was hugging my mom when she adviced me to cry, so I cried and then I said I don't even know why I was crying, sure I was sad about my grandpa passing away, but I found it dificult to express my emotions, specially crying.
That said, usually a very emotional -something doing a great good, or trying to bring awarenes about disabilities- advert can easily make me cry like a baby.
Wait, I just rememnered when I was a kid, 5-7 out of frustration because I didn't see a way to fit in and socialize with my class as much as I'd like to, I used to cry alone in my room, but at some point I guess I found it pointless so I tended to bottle up my feelings and not cry.

 

[tree]

illud What you said reminded me that
the year my grandparents died in rapid
succession, I thought of it as a class in
Public Crying.

 

[Tom]

Its one of those things that only happens once in a great while and in recent years has only happened for two reasons:

Death of a parent: Not at the time, but at some point later.
Certain Movies: Happened twice in recent memory. Both war films more or less.

The funny thing was the last time if happened was during the last Lord of the Rings Film, 'The Return of the King'. It began when the Beacons were lit and didn't stop until the Army of the Dead showed up at the Battle of Pelennor Fields. That was approximately three hours. My eyes just wouldn't stop leaking the entire time.

 

[Mia]

It began when the Beacons were lit and didn't stop until the Army of the Dead showed up at the Battle of Pelennor Fields.

That was so great when it began, and as each fire was progressively lit all the way through the mountains, it made me feel so proud/happy as if I could answer the call too. Like I was part of the story.

 

[jayster]

I learned not to cry as a kid, for the usual "I'll give you something to cry about"
I didn't cry very often for years; I hate it, it makes my eyelids swell and it makes me feel worse. Once I start, I can go for hours.
I've perfected "crying without sobbing" (I've been pretty down lately), just letting the tears flow silently, it seems to work & doesn't go on as long.

 

[camerartus]

Hugs

 

[SameStars]

Stress suddenly catching up with me. This happened a few times during dinner, after my first few days of school or a new internship, I would start crying out of the blue. I got asked didn't you like it there, aren't they nice? and I cried harder, because everything was fine, but the more I thought about the overwhelming it became.
Anger can make me cry, or the frustration part of it anyway.

 

[Bro'Freak]

Death & loss make me cry. Lost an old friend a little while back. I was told in the pub & to be honest I did cry. I allowed it to happen in order to show his enemies that he did have friends & I was one of them. The last time well it wasn't that long ago & damn did it hurt.. I cried so hard I thought my heart was going to break/stop. But after a few days I got it under control & didn't leak water with quite so much gusto. Losing the one you love has to be the biggest button for me to cry. Although sometimes I will shed a tear on a sad documentary/life story.

 

[tree]

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090824141045.htm
'blurs vision & signals you are vulnerable'-----The idea that crying was to show other
people your vulnerability seemed silly to me. If I cry it is not to SHOW anyone anything.
I cry because I feel that way. It is not a voluntary show. Whether it is possible the author
meant crying could be an involuntary display, I don't know. The idea of an involuntary display
meant to draw others in....is too big a stretch for my imagination.


http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...ow-crying-can-make-you-healthier-1009169.html
47 times a year for women, and seven for men ----doesn't sound like enough times.
"Overall, results support the theory that crying is an attachment behaviour designed to elicit help from others," females were liked less and males more, for crying.
U of So. Florida study:"Our findings support the idea that people with alexithymic [a deficiency in feeling emotions] or anhedonic [the inability to derive pleasure from pleasurable experiences] tendencies may profit from therapeutic interventions that encourage crying.''
Until relatively recently, crying was associated with sensitive, weak men, while now it is linked to strong, powerful men.

 

[Spiller]

Talk about crying, the behavior.
Under what circumstances do you find yourself crying?
Or if crying is not your behavior, tell about that.

Times in the past (as a child, adolescent, whatever)
and present.

What prompts your tears?
What is that experience like for you?
How uncomfortable, if at all, is this topic for you?

Do you find that your thoughts naturally divide
the topic into the behavior of 'crying' and the topic of
'having feelings'?
Or what?

I cry often, every day - I have an emotional 'pain' that is frequently overwhelming and results in this response. It's uncontrollable, I'm not demonstrating weakness nor seeking sympathy, it's a situation I'm forced to live with, like a chronic pain sufferer.
This isn't something I like at all, I wish the 'pain' would stop so I would stop feeling like this and not cry all the time.

I was reluctant to respond to this thread, Tree, as this isn't something I want people feeling sorry for me for, but I share it as I'm actually curious as to whether others have similar experience..

I have feelings other than the 'pain', though I do have to fight a tendency to sink into depression because of it - I still laugh, love, feel happy and sad.. around it, but it's nearly always there.
I can also cry over happy/sad films/stories/events and this feels different to the 'pain' thing.

My understanding is that if I feel certain emotions, I cry. There's no separation, no shame, it's a natural response.

 

[tree]

When I made this thread, I intentionally didn't capitalize the title.
I didn't want it to seem sensationalist or emo.
It is a thread about the human behavior of crying.
The idea is to explore the behavior.

Spiller Your thoughts are similar to mine about this topic.
To talk about crying is not to invite sympathy or pity or scorn or
any sort of evaluation of that type.
My intention is that people will offer their experiences with
the behavior.

 

[Rhymer]

I dont cry. Find it almost alien to do so. When my mum died when I was in my early twenties, I didnt cry once.
Funny thing is though, I sobbed like a baby in the Vet's when my cat died a couple of years ago. Probably because I've always had more of a bond with animals rather than people.

 

[JuniperBug]

I cry because of death/loss or drastic change which can also feel like a loss.

Also if a core aspect of my personality has been insulted or wounded I will cry.

Sometimes extreme sadness from another person can cause me to cry empathetically. But this only happens in person. Artificial emotion, such as in movies, doesn't affect me.

It's certainly not a voluntary show.

 

[Nisk]

I've lived a life of always being the "tough" guy. One of my aspie traits is I can shut off my emotions. I did this since I was probably 8 or 9. I went over 30 years without shedding a tear. Going through many situations that I should have shed a tear over. Friends getting murdered, grandparents dying, watching pets pass away etc... It took the recent loss of my family to kick start my feelings and I broke down and cried for the first time I can remember.

 

[Myway]

I cry only when in intense pain. When I actually hear things, it hurts and I cry. Vibration is also very bad. For the most part my emotions don't show.

 

[Neramo]

Cry often, escpecially after loosing my best friend:

This one and Within Temptation Lost still makes me cry :-(