• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Can many people with autism stand pubs, loud parties ect.?

R

Ruby

Well-Known Member
I went to a pub last night with my mum and her boyfriend for dinner. There was a certain time where under eighteen year olds weren't allowed, but I had to stay for another ten minutes because I hadn't finished my meal in time.

I couldn't stand it, because the music was too loud and I burst into tears. Apparently it gets worse and louder as the night goes on. I also don't feel very comfortable at that pub, because it mostly consists of men who drink alcohol and play pool and it isn't a very child-friendly place. I don't like the sound of teenage and adult parties but I feel comfortable at restaurants and cafes. I don't think parties sound like much fun except for children's parties.

What are teenage and adult parties like? Do you like them?
 
I can't stand them & I avoid these noisy, crowded events like the Ebola virus. Bursting into tears won't happen to me, but I'll pick myself up & leave the second any situation becomes uncomfortable. Whenever I can't avoid an event, I make sure I have an exit strategy in place & a way to get myself home. That means driving myself there, going with my husband (also an Aspie who despises social events) or making sure I have cab fare back from wherever it is.
 
Lots of noise, music, conversations, etc., like in a pub/bar/tavern or party, around me can really set me on edge. Sometimes it makes me feel as though I am going to faint, though I never actually do. VERY STRESSFUL.
 
I can tolerate the noise and people if I am sufficiently drunk. But, no amount of alcohol can keep them from spotting that I am not like them. And then they always let me know I'm not welcome.
 
I have my phases where my life is the party.

I don't mind going out to concerts or clubs... or bars. I have a bigger issue in that it's mostly boring rather than a sensory overload. And I found that boredom triggers my sensitivity a lot more than just being exposed to it. A thing for me is that I don't go out so socialize, but I do want to be entertained for the night.

The parties I had most fun and could deal best with were raves. Probably because it didn't have the personal atmosphere and people were there enjoying just themselves. I tend to get a bit annoyed by talking people at bars and all. The entire social aspect doesn't catch for me. That's maybe why I prefer loud raves instead. Loud music is a way for me to deal with sensory issues. But clearly, I'm quite picky with my music, so that again is detrimental to "being entertained".

Also; looking at my days as a teen, where I went to a local alternative bar; that place was so out of control it suited my need to be entertained well enough. That's probably how I managed to not have meltdowns a lot back then.
 
If it's a party of people that I have been friends with for a while I can stand it. I went to a party of some of my college church group, it wasn't one of those boring ones, we had plenty of loud music and noise but I had a blast. I have also been to a club once, it was a when I was still a teenager myself on a teen night but I think I handled myself pretty well even though I didn't have anyone to talk to. What I can't handle are extremely busy stores, weather it's a grocery store or like Target or like the mall. I have also been to a few bars that were noisy with music, and loud talking and noises that I handled ok. Loud music has never really affected me much, some noises affect me sometimes depending on the setting.
 
I can tolerate situations like this most of the time, but catch me on a bad day in a public area and I'll go into "sensory overload mode" - it's not the severe kind that would cause me to shut down and counter react, but it is nonetheless sensory overload. I'm not fond of bars or pubs myself, not really my idea of a good time and too much potential for trouble at those kinds of places though I've forced myself to do it for several special occasions which I'll not go into detail about. If I'm enjoying myself, to say the least I'm not really bothered by major sensory issues at all, but it still happens from time to time.
 
I too love raves. one thing im good at is researching. So i researched and found a few house/trance artists that i liked and where they were touring. Turned out Tiesto was coming in and it was in only a couple months. So needless to say, it was one of the best nights of my life. Loud music and light shows are very entertaining, plus all the crazy people there. I may or may not have eaten a few skittles to enhance the night and felt that i was much more talkative and felt amazing. But that might be what skittles do.
edit: i felt ok going because i felt i was in some control of what i would hear really loud. and boy was i right!
 
Last edited:
I can't stand going into places with large numbers of people. and a large group of drunk men is a huge turn off.

I have a fear of crowds and I start panicking and I can get violent if too many people touch me. I can't tolerate loud noise ... my husband hates this because he can't have his music very loud and he has to have it loud because he can't really hear when its quiet.

Parties just seem so boring ... I mean its usually just a bunch of people sitting around getting drunk. Not really what I call entertainment.

I let my husband go out and drink with his friends. I trust him completely. He can't lie pretty much. Not because he's an aspie (he has aspie like traits but I wouldn't call him one) but because he gives himself away too easily. Anyway like I've said before if we ever parted ways I think I would have more offers than I could stomach from his work mates who like my cooking lol so he knows he can't stray or risk losing access to my good food :)
 
I don't do group functions. I don't do parties. I don't really socialize in large groups in fact when my sister had her baby shower I went downstairs in the dark cold basement and came on here and talked to people. I couldn't deal with it. I love going to doll meets but sometimes even they are too much for me. I can't handle too much noise an I really can't handle people touching me. I really really don't like people touching me.You have to know me really really well for it to be ok to even tap me on the shoulder.
 
I love pubs and loud parties... And I'll love to dance so long as I feel happy!

But everyone's different, no?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom