Aspergers Makes For Lesser Valued Opinions?

[Gomendosi]

Do you think people are less likely to listen to you about things if they know of your diagnosis?
Do you think it makes your opinion less reputable if it comes from an Aspie, do you think others think that?

In my family and even among people I have known I have always felt as though what I had to say was somehow diminished by the fact that it came from me, I chalked it up to any number of things, including but not limited to:

The fact I took so long to say things, I spoke in archaic language that people had trouble following, I was the youngest, it was known I daydreamed a lot, I was so excitable about things I knew, what I said was boring due to excessive detail, they thought they knew better, I didn't explain clearly enough, I carried no authority, everything I wanted to say was about things other people had no interest in.

There was a lot of reasons I made up to explain why I thought my suggestions weren't taken or my advice appreciated, but now I wonder if people can sense there is something different about the way I think and so that makes me uncreditable to them in some way.




Of course I have had a lot of success too with saying things that are valued but that isn't what the thread is about so I needn't mention them here ; ]

 

[King_Oni]

It depends on whom I'm talking to. And quite frankly, I don't know if it's because of my diagnosis.

My parents don't treat me any differently ever since I got my diagnosis. Which makes me wonder they even understand what my issues in daily life are. For years I thought my parents just didn't take me seriously in general, but I guess that came with age. The older I get, the more my parents appreciate my input.

The people whom I have issues communicating with are social services and the like, but I think they just give everyone a hard time... which I do think, is magnified if you're having some kind of communicative problems to start with. They're just not willing to listen in general I found... and that's not necessarily an aspie problem as much as it's just a practical issue for everyone involved with these folks.

However, there's enough of my mindset which people wont take for granted as such... those might actually be things that come with a more rational aspie mindset, whereas some people just tend to be more emotional about things. As long as these people don't rub their opinions laced with emotions in my face I'm fine to keeping a distance with a more cold approach to it. In general it avoids a lot of problems with anyone and doesn't make me feel like I'm being discredited because quite often I'm the minority with a rational mindset.

 

[anne.bc]

I personally feel the only reason my mom's sister won't let me get a single word in is because I'm not married and I don't have kids.

I feel that way about some other relatives too, but it's primarily her. I doubt it's my diagnosis. I'm considered high-functioning anyway.

It's a bit frustrating. I feel excluded sometimes.

 

[Arashi222]

I see it happen to me all the time...however not just with people who know my diagnosis. I mean People brush off my advice for a lot reasons usually because they aren't ready to hear what I have to say because I tend to be blunt about it. Those that do know about it have also done it to me too but usually not as often. Such as example of me telling everyone that this guy at our doll meets was creepy weird and everyone said I was overreacting then to find out that he is child molester yah...that pissed me off a great deal. I felt like no one had taken me seriously about the vibe I was getting. I feel vindicated but also sad about that situation. Yes I am still processing that but this thread just makes it all the more aparent because I was told I was overreacting to him. I wasn't.

 

[MoCoffee]

I don't think my diagnosis has much to do with it, but my symptoms do. When I speak softly and hesitantly, I sound unsure in my opinion. When I'm anxious, it's even worse because my breathing is shallow, I shake and I get that "deer in the headlights" look. My opinion wasn't asked for or respected by my (ex) husband, so that didn't help either.

The funny thing is, because I am more confident since my diagnosis, my opinion is respected more.

 

[GHA]

I have five kids, two sons and three daughter. One of my son has Aspergers. He is officially diagnosed. All my family members take advice from him on multiple issues. He is considered in the family the most wise person... So wisdom has nothing to do with Aspergers. When he talks everyone listens.

 

[Judge]

Anyone can be seeking an honest opinion- or simple validation. However reading what is actually being asked can be difficult depending on what is actually being conveyed in a real-time conversation. Even then, there's no way to predict whether the response would be supportive or blunt and to the contrary.

However if one misreads the others queues (or lack thereof) over a period of time, I can see how they might eventually withdraw from asking altogether.

Such dynamics and their possibilities don't strike me as being exclusive to either Aspies or Neurotypicals.

 

[Spinning Compass]

I would have to say yes, although I don't think it is just limited to Aspergers. I don't know how to say this without possibly coming across as offensive, but I have noticed that people with perceived intellectual difficulties (it doesn't even have to be obvious) are not taken as seriously as others. This goes for mental illnesses as well. It's the way society sees certain people. They don't have to be labeled, they don't have to be diagnosed, it's more of a gut level reaction that there is something not quite right about this individual, something about the way they talk or act, that others pick up on. I think we've all heard the word "retarded" and how it's used. To be blunt, it's a catch-all label used to dismiss others. "Retards" aren't taken seriously. It doesn't matter if said "retard" actually has a MENSA-level IQ, if there is something about them, anything about them, that screams "retard" they will not be listened to. That's another reason I hesitate about being open about my condition. Why confirm what others suspect and give them even more ammunition?

 

[Ste11aeres]

In my opinion, and limited life experience, whether or not someone takes people's opinions and thoughts seriously has more to do with the person listeining, than with the person who's expressing their opinion.
Some people really don't want to hear anyone other than themselves speak.

Some people will listen to certain people more than to others, and it will depend on the speaker's status, rather than on the worth of the ideas themselves. (Very few people want to hear what a child has to say)

Some people will listen to people they agree with, but will dismiss the thoughts of others with an "ad hominem" argument: "X's argument is wrong because X is a hypocrite." Well, in reality, X could say something that is true, even if he is a hypocrite, or a jerk, or a man-speaking-about a "woman's issue". Please pay attention to what he says, not to who he is.

Some people will listen to most people but not to weird people (like a weird Aspie).

Some people will listen to everybody.

It depends on the person doing the listening.