zeroninja
Well-Known Member
Hey, so I am seriously considering a big life change - in the form of a move to California. And was wondering what advice anyone might have on this?
A brief backstory:
Born back east but moved to Montana when I was just a teen, it's been quite literally batshit insane here the whole time, so many bad things have happened here I could prolly outdo Lord of the Rings on sheer length of a book series on the stuff that happened to me here. For instance, my mother died from a poorly executed medical procedure in the hospital of the closest town in the late 90's here. I had been thinking for a while about leaving this hellhole, but I am aware that my past experiences colour much of my current experiences with this place, and that as they say, "wherever you go, there you are!" as in, whatever problems I may have in my own perceptions and actions executed based on those perceptions, will follow me no matter where I go or what I'm currently doing. So, I've decided, for lack of better options, to ask advice and make a brief pros and cons list to weigh it out.
Pros:
Income is way better and I can definitely find work, rather than here where work is awfully managed and wages are almost the lowest in the nation but cost of living is still somewhat high.
I have a spot all set up if I choose to go, as I have already done a phone interview with a landlord who a close friend is renting from down there, and it'll be only $350 per month plus utilities so I can definitely afford it on just my social security alone.
Should my financial aid award letter come through like I think it will, I have already been accepted to a local community college there which offers a certificate in electronic design and digital media, which will allow me to pursue a career in game design as I've dreamed of all my life.
A close friend would be one of the two room mates and is attending that same college, plus is willing to front my costs on flying there and having my meager amounts of irreplaceable stuff shipped there, then pay him back from my financial aid or job money, so I would have someone I could at least somewhat trust.
Women are scarce in Montana, and most are either happily married or kind of sleazy to be a bit generalized, due to the incredible difference between haves/have nots, and are plentiful in California, which might give me an actual chance at a long term relationship with a woman who likes me for me, for the first time.
The weather is much better for my liking there, as this last winter nearly killed me in some ways from the severe cold and so on, plus the dry heat combined with cold nights of the summers here doesn't always agree so well with me either, whereas it's mostly sunny or at least warm in California, and is close to where I would prefer to end up: the Oregon Coast. The Pacific Ocean is the most at peace I have ever felt in my life, I used to go to family reunions there in the 2000s and just watch the waves, read or body surf.
I might be able to find some actual niche of friends there, as here I'm pretty much the solitary nerd in a community of wannabe hippies, rednecks, druggies, isolated wealthy people and so on.
If I achieved at least the certificate in GAme Design, I could presumably find a job at somewhere like Blizzard Entertainments HQ in Irvine, California, if worse came to worse and nothing I did on my own worked out in the short term. If so, that income alone would be enough to live comfortably and pay my massive amounts of student loans and so on I still owe from all my failed previous attempts at colleges. Plus, I am only 40 credits away from a BAchelors Degree, so that could be a future goal in the next two years also if necessary.
Every day I live in this ****** little town, I feel more and more like giving up, and I take it as a sign that it's not just me when I'm not even the one bringing up that there's nothing for me here and I need to get outta here, it's older trustworthy people who've settled here but see this place and it's cadre of mostly awful people for what it truly is. A common pastime here for most seems to be starting fights or at least vicious yelling matches over literally anything, just to feed off the drama that creates. This is gonna sound weird , but this place has a c arefully hidden dark "energy" about it too, that's only apparent really after you've stayed here one year or more.
I keep seeing the numbers from the date of my birth everywhere I look, all the time, ever since last fall. I'm not sure what this means but I take it there is at least some significance.
My friend is also camping on the Oregon coast during that solar eclipse, and has offered that I could come with him, which I think would bring us closer together again and be an amazing experience.
I could finally afford internet, since the state monopoly based phone company here is beyond awful about overcharging for theirs to the point I can't afford it at all. The 10 mb speeds aren't great either anyways. This will also allow me to pursue the idea I'd had for awhile of doing writing for games and books as a side job, since that's one of the few things I'm truly great at and just enjoy doing anyway.
Cons:
CAlifornia is, from what I'm told, "a pill", meaning you always have to be on your guard and never know what to expect from anyone, and the cops there are always bad news apparently.
Cost of living outside of that one roommate situation is extremely high, plus my credit is below abysmal.
That friend hasn't always been the greatest friend to me, often months would go by with me reaching out to keep up communications, vent about problems, allow him to vent, see how he's doing, send interesting articles, anything really, where he'd blow me off completely and only come back to messaging me when he needed something from me or was in the actual area I lived in to visit his sisters, to the point where I felt like I was "babysitting the communication" just to keep up the friendship.
I know only one other person in that entire area, he is a much more reliable friend when he can be but has so much going on between his mom getting a divorce, trying to be an actor in LA, and working two jobs that he barely has time for me anymore lately. So would likely not be much of a support at least in the short term in any real way.
I still have severe social anxiety at times, so I can definitely foresee California being an overload between my emotional exhaustion with people's two-faced nature about what they say vs what they do, and with so many people in such a small area.
I have no car, license or exit strategy should things go sour there at this point.
I will have little time before school starts on August 28th, to register my classes, finish up the processing of financial aid, advisors and so forth, get basics and essentials I need, and re set up food stamps/ssi/medicaid once I get there too.
LA itself, which Lake Elsinore is right nearby from what I understand, is the most crazy and dark part of California or the west coast as a whole, from what little I know about it. Everything from gangs and drugs to satanism and so on is relatively common here.
So, would love to hear any thoughts you have! =D
A brief backstory:
Born back east but moved to Montana when I was just a teen, it's been quite literally batshit insane here the whole time, so many bad things have happened here I could prolly outdo Lord of the Rings on sheer length of a book series on the stuff that happened to me here. For instance, my mother died from a poorly executed medical procedure in the hospital of the closest town in the late 90's here. I had been thinking for a while about leaving this hellhole, but I am aware that my past experiences colour much of my current experiences with this place, and that as they say, "wherever you go, there you are!" as in, whatever problems I may have in my own perceptions and actions executed based on those perceptions, will follow me no matter where I go or what I'm currently doing. So, I've decided, for lack of better options, to ask advice and make a brief pros and cons list to weigh it out.
Pros:
Income is way better and I can definitely find work, rather than here where work is awfully managed and wages are almost the lowest in the nation but cost of living is still somewhat high.
I have a spot all set up if I choose to go, as I have already done a phone interview with a landlord who a close friend is renting from down there, and it'll be only $350 per month plus utilities so I can definitely afford it on just my social security alone.
Should my financial aid award letter come through like I think it will, I have already been accepted to a local community college there which offers a certificate in electronic design and digital media, which will allow me to pursue a career in game design as I've dreamed of all my life.
A close friend would be one of the two room mates and is attending that same college, plus is willing to front my costs on flying there and having my meager amounts of irreplaceable stuff shipped there, then pay him back from my financial aid or job money, so I would have someone I could at least somewhat trust.
Women are scarce in Montana, and most are either happily married or kind of sleazy to be a bit generalized, due to the incredible difference between haves/have nots, and are plentiful in California, which might give me an actual chance at a long term relationship with a woman who likes me for me, for the first time.
The weather is much better for my liking there, as this last winter nearly killed me in some ways from the severe cold and so on, plus the dry heat combined with cold nights of the summers here doesn't always agree so well with me either, whereas it's mostly sunny or at least warm in California, and is close to where I would prefer to end up: the Oregon Coast. The Pacific Ocean is the most at peace I have ever felt in my life, I used to go to family reunions there in the 2000s and just watch the waves, read or body surf.
I might be able to find some actual niche of friends there, as here I'm pretty much the solitary nerd in a community of wannabe hippies, rednecks, druggies, isolated wealthy people and so on.
If I achieved at least the certificate in GAme Design, I could presumably find a job at somewhere like Blizzard Entertainments HQ in Irvine, California, if worse came to worse and nothing I did on my own worked out in the short term. If so, that income alone would be enough to live comfortably and pay my massive amounts of student loans and so on I still owe from all my failed previous attempts at colleges. Plus, I am only 40 credits away from a BAchelors Degree, so that could be a future goal in the next two years also if necessary.
Every day I live in this ****** little town, I feel more and more like giving up, and I take it as a sign that it's not just me when I'm not even the one bringing up that there's nothing for me here and I need to get outta here, it's older trustworthy people who've settled here but see this place and it's cadre of mostly awful people for what it truly is. A common pastime here for most seems to be starting fights or at least vicious yelling matches over literally anything, just to feed off the drama that creates. This is gonna sound weird , but this place has a c arefully hidden dark "energy" about it too, that's only apparent really after you've stayed here one year or more.
I keep seeing the numbers from the date of my birth everywhere I look, all the time, ever since last fall. I'm not sure what this means but I take it there is at least some significance.
My friend is also camping on the Oregon coast during that solar eclipse, and has offered that I could come with him, which I think would bring us closer together again and be an amazing experience.
I could finally afford internet, since the state monopoly based phone company here is beyond awful about overcharging for theirs to the point I can't afford it at all. The 10 mb speeds aren't great either anyways. This will also allow me to pursue the idea I'd had for awhile of doing writing for games and books as a side job, since that's one of the few things I'm truly great at and just enjoy doing anyway.
Cons:
CAlifornia is, from what I'm told, "a pill", meaning you always have to be on your guard and never know what to expect from anyone, and the cops there are always bad news apparently.
Cost of living outside of that one roommate situation is extremely high, plus my credit is below abysmal.
That friend hasn't always been the greatest friend to me, often months would go by with me reaching out to keep up communications, vent about problems, allow him to vent, see how he's doing, send interesting articles, anything really, where he'd blow me off completely and only come back to messaging me when he needed something from me or was in the actual area I lived in to visit his sisters, to the point where I felt like I was "babysitting the communication" just to keep up the friendship.
I know only one other person in that entire area, he is a much more reliable friend when he can be but has so much going on between his mom getting a divorce, trying to be an actor in LA, and working two jobs that he barely has time for me anymore lately. So would likely not be much of a support at least in the short term in any real way.
I still have severe social anxiety at times, so I can definitely foresee California being an overload between my emotional exhaustion with people's two-faced nature about what they say vs what they do, and with so many people in such a small area.
I have no car, license or exit strategy should things go sour there at this point.
I will have little time before school starts on August 28th, to register my classes, finish up the processing of financial aid, advisors and so forth, get basics and essentials I need, and re set up food stamps/ssi/medicaid once I get there too.
LA itself, which Lake Elsinore is right nearby from what I understand, is the most crazy and dark part of California or the west coast as a whole, from what little I know about it. Everything from gangs and drugs to satanism and so on is relatively common here.
So, would love to hear any thoughts you have! =D
